IT'S BACK ... Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is in full swing for 2023 and no one and NO CLUB is safe.
So put your seatbelt on, strap yourselves in and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.
So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.
>> CLICK HERE TO READ MORE BARRETT
IF ...
the Crows can find a way to win a big game away from the Adelaide Oval ...
THEN ...
only then can they be taken seriously. They are 9-3 at Adelaide Oval, 1-7 away from it. Seem too brittle. Need to produce a shock against the Lions at the Gabba on Saturday to breathe finals-possible life back into a season way too full of what-ifs.
IF ..
there's one thing missing from Lachie Neale's extraordinary CV ...
THEN ...
it is a flag. Played in a losing Grand Final as a Docker in 2013, but hasn't been able to get past the prelim final stage as a Lion. Six wins, 10 losses in finals is a record he will be seeking to fix in 2023.
IF ...
Tom De Koning wants to really announce himself as a bona fide star ...
THEN ...
taking down big Maxxy and the returning Brodie on Saturday night at the MCG would do that. The emerging TDK versus six-time All-Australian Gawn and two-time All-Australian Grundy is one of at least a dozen compelling storylines in the lead-in to this massive game.
IF ...
the Collingwood sun didn't come up last Sunday morning, as the trauma of a second consecutive loss was being dealt with at the same time the adverse Nick Daicos knee diagnosis came through ...
THEN ...
it managed to poke its way above the horizon on subsequent days. After 20 of 23 matches in the 2023 season, Pies are two games clear atop the ladder and have the competition's best percentage. Life is still more than OK.
IF ...
Dyson Heppell's form early in 2023 hinted this could be his final year in the AFL ...
THEN ...
most performances in the second two-thirds of the season would suggest he could go around one more time. Decision time coming in the next fortnight.
IF ...
the 2023 season has been one of major disappointment ...
THEN ...
performances in the past two matches have at least saved some face. A very good win against the Cats in Geelong followed by a more-than-OK three-point loss to Brisbane in round 21. Should pulverise the Eagles in the derby on Saturday night.
IF ...
Jez Cameron's opening eight matches of the season placed him as the game's most important player ...
THEN ...
such status has dropped in the three months since. And an accidental KO by teammate Gary Rohan in round 15 has proven highly problematic, with shoulder damage sustained in the same hit still lingering, and adversely affecting his form. The game's greats find a way through adversity, and I'm tipping Cameron to do that with a bag of six under Friday night lights against Collingwood.
IF ...
the Suns simply expect the AFL to fork out competition money to help them get Damien Hardwick to sign as coach ...
THEN ...
they need to think again. Hope the AFL says no the whole way through, and that other clubs demand this not be allowed. Besides, it makes no sense for headquarters to pay outside-soft-cap ambassadorial/promotional money to a coach who severely dislikes media.
IF ...
you're not yet aware of the extreme high-end talents of Tom Green ...
THEN ...
make sure to avail yourselves in the remaining three matches of 2023. In his fourth season, has easily transitioned into the game's elite midfielders.
IF ...
the former 2023 Brownlow Medal favourite copped the Finn Maginness treatment last Saturday ...
THEN ...
the current one might cop it this Sunday. Nick Daicos in round 21, The Bont in round 22. A highly intriguing part of this Hawks' rebuild, is Maginness.
IF ...
Sam Kerr being re-introduced to competitive play after soft tissue damage last Monday night for the Matildas was heart-in-mouth stuff for everyone ...
THEN ...
there is going to be the same apprehension attached to Clarry Oliver's comeback on Saturday night. Kerr emerged unscathed, just. If Clarry does, too, this Dees' premiership push may become unstoppable.
IF ...
Ben Cunnington is the old ...
THEN ...
George Wardlaw is guaranteed to be the new. Uncompromising, fearless, fan-favourite North Melbourne hard-nuts. Great to see them play a game together on Saturday, Cunnington for the final time in a grand career, Wardlaw in game eight of his debut season. If this club wants to stand for something in 2023, it will 'do it for Cunners' and beat Essendon on Saturday.
IF ...
the 13 consecutive wins provided genuine hope of a premiership ...
THEN ...
the four consecutive losses, and injuries within those games, have tempered belief. Depth is looming as an ugly problem, full-forward Dixon and full-back McKenzie out until finals at the earliest.
IF ...
ex-coach Dimma once said of Marvel Stadium, 'I hate coming here' and 'our people don't come here' ...
THEN ...
there may lie a profound insight into retiring ex-skipper Trent Cotchin's absence from Sunday's game, against St Kilda. He and his club have decided it far better to wait for the round 23 MCG match against North to say goodbye. Tigers fans should attempt to pack the joint out.
IF ...
the loss to Carlton in round 21 was shattering ...
THEN ...
the positive out of it was that the gameplan stood up until halfway through the final quarter. Desperately hanging on to a finals berth, but doesn't possess any form of on-field x-factor.
IF ...
after round 14 and again post round 17 the Swans were 15th on the ladder ...
THEN ...
this is a highly unusual charge to the finals. On a four-win streak, and in the past seven matches, have lost only once (as well as a draw). Don't ever write off a John Longmire-coached team.
IF ...
there has been a lot of questionable attitudes attached to Eagles players and officials in the past two disastrous seasons ...
THEN ...
not Luke Shuey. His body may have packed it in, but never his desire to compete and make his club better. Will forever deservedly hold a prominent place among the best players to represent this club since AFL inception in 1987.
IF ...
the Bulldogs beat Hawthorn in Tassie on Sunday ...
THEN ...
they're in the finals. That would be win No.12, with win No.13 to come against West Coast at Marvel Stadium in round 23. Geelong at the Cattery in the final game may not matter.
AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL
IF ...
the sports code wars are real and guaranteed to intensify in coming years ...
THEN ...
pleasing to see the AFL, temporarily at least and highly probably only because of the common free-to-air broadcaster, laying down arms and seeking to allow for the Matildas' quarter-final match against France to be played on screens at the MCG, before Saturday night's Carlton-Melbourne match, and SCG, after Swans-Suns.