WITH the 2023 Toyota AFL Premiership season racing to its conclusion, Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is in full swing.

So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.

So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> CLICK HERE TO READ MORE BARRETT 

IF ...

the Crows needed more reminding of what could’ve, and maybe even should’ve, been possible this season 

THEN ...

it comes in the form of the GWS Giants. Yes, I know the Crows twice lost to the Giants this year. But of the remaining sides in the top four, Crows smashed Carlton, twice lost to Collingwood by a kick, and wasted winning opportunities in a one-kick loss to Brisbane. 

IF ..

Darcy Gardiner has played just two matches this season ...

THEN ...

it's not ideal that his third game will find him lined up against the winner of the past two Coleman Medals, Charlie Curnow. But this is how premierships are won. Having people like Gardiner, who made his debut in 2014 and has 156 games behind him, ready for action when stars are injured. Payne out, Gardiner in. Good luck, Darcy.

IF ...

for most of the season depth was considered a problem for the Blues when already against all odds they have reached a preliminary final and name a team with Owies, Kemp, Cuningham and Kennedy as emergencies ...

THEN ...

depth is clearly not a problem. Love what this club has done under adversity with Voss in charge. Season 2023 is already a resounding success. Scope for it to become the greatest in-season turnaround in the game's history.

IF ...

the loss of Taylor Adams to injury meant less stress for selectors given space had to be created regardless for Nick Daicos ...

THEN ...

the loss of Adams nevertheless leaves a bigger hole than many realise. Adams has contributed solidly all year, in selfless style. He's still top five on that list in my head of players you'd love to have on your side in a sporting war.

IF ...

I've been critical of Dave Barham after he car-crashed his way into leading this club ...

THEN ...

I need to give him credit for his efforts this week. Finally dealt with the Adrian Dodoro situation. Now needs to deal with Sheeds and the coteries, and then Brad Scott might get a proper chance.

IF ...

the Dockers had persevered and worked with the many flaws of Jesse Hogan, as GWS has done 

THEN ...

there’s every chance they would have gone further than week two of finals in 2022 and made finals this year. 

IF ...

anyone thinks the Cats are going to embrace the cop-out attitude of way too many clubs, and choose to stay outside the top eight in 2024 as a means to get better beyond it 

THEN ...

they don’t understand how this club operates under its current on and off-field leaders. Every season is a chance for a flag, no matter what others think.

IF ...

Mabior Chol is a Sun in 2024

THEN ...

I’ll be surprised, despite having a contract to 2025. Dimma didn’t require him as a Tiger.

IF ...

Cal Ward first played in a prelim final way back in 2009, as a Bulldog, as well as three more after that – 2010 also as a Dog, 2016-17 as a Giant (he missed 2019 when injured) ...

THEN ...

what a story that at 33 he's about to enter a fifth. And arguably, has never been more crucial to his team's operations.

IF ...

this time last year the Hawks were approaching the Trade Period with the view to offloading talent and setting up to finish closer to the bottom of the ladder than the top ...

THEN ...

the project was a resounding success, getting rid of Mitchell (who will on Friday night be playing a key role in a preliminary final) and O'Meara and then finishing 16th, ahead only of the woeful North Melbourne and West Coast, and eight premiership points behind the 15th placed team Gold Coast, which went so badly it sacked its coach. Very different outlook upon entry to the 2023 Trade Period. Going to be ultra-aggressive. Adding McKay to the Sicily-led backline, securing a key forward to help Lewis and finding a class smaller forward would set them up nicely. I much prefer this version of Hawthorn.

IF ...

there are two players who would've definitely helped the Demons this year ...

THEN ...

it's Hogan and Bedford. Oh yeah, that's right. And what a waste, the two seasons post the 2021 premiership. Too much talent to not be at least be making prelim finals.

IF ...

Goldy officially wants out ...

THEN ...

we knew that was coming before round one, when he was left out of the team. Hope he lands at a club which wins a flag next year. He deserves one. This club hasn't got a great record in properly looking after its dearest. I can trace back its current woes to the 2016 day it sacked - in a very hastily-worded media release - Boomer, Dal, Drew and Spud. That was a season in which it was 10-1 after 11 rounds, after reaching preliminary finals the previous two years. And then it decided to rebuild about a month later. And the Bulldogs, from nowhere, won the flag.

IF ...

Port's attitude, on and off field, for the entirety of the home-and-away season could not be questioned ...

THEN ...

the two weeks of finals certainly could be. Clearly, the Power didn't actually believe they could reach the last four. Insipid would be too strong. I'll settle on highly disappointing.

IF ...

Kate Bush and Peter Gabriel once combined to turn a particular song into a chart-topping success ...

THEN ...

Adem Yze may have embraced it as his motivation. After 43 second placings - well, maybe not that many, but a lot - he's secured a senior coaching gig. Yes, I know the lyrics don't quite line up with his story. But the title does, and I love his refusal to stop trying. Don't Give Up.

IF ...

Gubby and SOS aren’t devising the greatest blockbuster trade this year or next

THEN ...

they’ve lost their mojo. They’re Riggs and Murtaugh. Batman and Robin. Tango and Cash. Elwood and Jake. Saints fans hoping their work is as melodic as Lennon and McCartney.

IF ...

the 2023 season finished with a week one finals loss 

THEN ...

with Brodie Grundy coming on board I’ve got the Swans back in the top four in 2024.

IF ...

three weeks have passed since the board at this club, against the odds, endorsed Adam Simpson as coach for 2024 

THEN ...

I’m really keen to see why it did that. I realise the true answers won’t come until March next year. But unless genuinely good players choose to come here in the Trade Period, nothing is going to change quickly.

IF ...

retention works sometimes ...

THEN ...

change works on other occasions. Bulldogs going the retention path with Bevo. GWS went the change route this time last year.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

the AFL early in the week announces that as of Saturday week all Grand Finalists will be playing for the Ron Barassi Cup

THEN ...

I’d be all for it. It just works.