WITH the 2023 Toyota AFL Premiership season racing to its conclusion, Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is in full swing.
So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.
So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.
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IF ...
the big guys always take longer to become established in the AFL system
THEN ...
Riley Thilthorpe will remain a work in progress for some time yet. But after 46 matches, 21 this year, poised to take a massive step in 2024.
IF ..
Aker in 2001 and Blacky in 2002 could do it ...
THEN ...
no reason Lachie can't in 2023. A Brownlow draped round the neck on the Monday, a premiership medallion draped round it on the Saturday.
IF ...
I've pumped up the Charlie Curnow tyres to near bursting point in the past two years ...
THEN ...
I need to let some air out. Simply didn't perform to expectations, most importantly his own, in three finals, and until he rectifies that, he can't be included, in my eyes anyway, in best-player-in-comp conversations.
IF ...
the Magpies lost last weekend's preliminary final by one point and not won it by one point ...
THEN ...
Jordan De Goey being left on the bench for the game's final eight-plus minutes would've possibly become the biggest footy story of the year. I don't care what the coaches say, if you can't fashion a way to remove one of 18 players from the ground to reintroduce the standout best player afield for the deciding stanza of the second most important match of the season, you're not preparing properly.
IF ...
Ben McKay has nominated the Bombers ...
THEN ...
he will no doubt strengthen backline operations. But he's not Steven May.
IF ...
barely a day passes without Sean Darcy’s name being raised in potential trade conversations
THEN ...
keen to see how the next month unfolds. And yes, I know he’s contracted.
IF ...
the Cats are notorious last-minute deal makers in trade periods, hello Gary Ablett and Jez Cameron ...
THEN ...
expect another one this year. It might be Bailey Smith, despite him being contracted to the Dogs.
IF ...
the Suns in the first trade period under Dimma's watch don't attempt to land a big fish ...
THEN ...
I will be very surprised. Yes, I know a lot of draft picks and their attached points will be required to secure academy players (and North Melbourne will assist greatly here), but Hardwick will want more than that.
IF ...
the Giants were to pay close attention to the post-2022 season actions of this season's Grand Finalists ...
THEN ...
they would follow the obvious lead and recruit top talent before 2024 starts. Lions and Pies wouldn't be fighting for the flag without the off-season recruits.
IF ...
there's a person in footy who deserves a great role ...
THEN ...
it is Brett Ratten. Returns to the Hawks as head of coaching performance and development after a period as interim senior coach of North Melbourne, and having been treated dreadfully when sacked as Saints boss. One of the really good guys in this industry.
IF ...
14 of James Jordon's 65 matches as a Demon saw him start or finish as a sub ...
THEN ...
no one could blame him for wanting a fresh start, with Sydney. A wise move.
IF ...
draft pick No.19 has been thrown the Roos' way by a way too generous AFL, as well as picks 19 and 20 in 2024 (all on current standings, prior to father-son and academy players being factored into draft order) ...
THEN ...
Academy player Ryley Sanders will now find smooth passage to begin an AFL career with North Melbourne.
IF ...
Zak Butters isn’t captain next season
THEN ...
I will be surprised. Natural-born gun, natural-born leader.
IF ...
the 2024 season will see a new coach in Adem Yze
THEN ...
I’m tipping as new captain, too. Liam Baker. He’s ready.
IF ...
Adam Kingsley got the official vote of his peers as coach of the year
THEN ...
Ross The Boss probably should have. Still can’t believe he took this team to the finals and a sixth-place finish.
IF ...
there was a video recording of John Longmire's reaction upon being told of his captain Callum Mills' serious shoulder damage from a Mad Monday wrestle with a teammate ...
THEN ...
I'd love to see it. Reckon the eyes would've narrowed first, then a full contortion of the face. Then probably a reset of emotions where he may have asked for clarity. If the news had been delivered via phone, there's every chance that phone is no longer operable. And if I was Horse, I would've already removed the captaincy title.
IF ...
a lot of the pre-trade and national draft period talk among rival clubs is to be believed
THEN ...
the Eagles won’t be taking Harley Reid.
IF ...
33 votes in 2021 and 29 votes in 2023 weren't enough votes ...
THEN ...
maybe poor Bont is doomed to never win a Brownlow. Don't know what else he could've done to secure at least one in a grand 10-year career.
AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL
IF ...
headquarters thinks throwing round end of first round draft picks likes confetti is going to fix the Roos ...
THEN ...
it won't. Many clubs are furious with this assistance package, and rightly so.
