THE 2023 Toyota AFL Premiership season is over, but never fear, Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is still going full steam ahead.
So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.
So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.
>> CLICK HERE TO READ MORE BARRETT
IF ...
fitness guru Darren Burgess indeed proves to be the reason Clayton Oliver wants to play with the Crows ...
THEN ...
he'd be deserving of a massive spotter's fee. Crows would start the 2024 season among the top five chances for the flag if they were to secure this four-time best-and-fairest winner and three-time All-Australian.
IF ..
some big-name Lions were just slightly off optimum output in the Grand Final ...
THEN ...
not big Joe, who was brilliant. And Hugh McCluggage was huge, too.
IF ...
the Blues, like 17 other footy clubs, were keen to explore the Clarry possibilities ...
THEN ...
unlike most of their rivals, they have a compelling starting-point brokering position, in the form of Harry McKay. Demons are ultra-desperate for a key forward and, like Oliver, McKay has a contract to the end of 2030.
IF ...
the Cats proved it in 2022 ...
THEN ...
the Pies doubled down in 2023. Geelong won last year's flag with the oldest team ever assembled in a Grand Final, and Collingwood won last Saturday with the third oldest. Simple message to all rivals: respect the best oldies, and win flags!
IF ...
Zach Merrett secured a fourth Bombers best-and-fairest on Thursday night ...
THEN ...
not taking anything away from that achievement, I would’ve liked to have seen runner-up Kyle Langford get the main gong. Love his old-school footy smarts, and 51 goals for him in 2023 was extraordinary.
IF ...
the Dockers are annoyed that Liam Henry has walked out ...
THEN ...
they also need to realise he doesn’t carry a lot of currency. And the Saints, rightly given the circumstances of him playing just 43 games in four years, won’t be offering much for him.
IF ...
you’re a Cat and you have five All-Australians and two best-and-fairests on your CV ...
THEN ...
you’re headed for Geelong Football Club legend status. Tom Stewart. Hadn’t played an AFL match until 24 years of age. Is yet to reach 150 career games. What a player. What a story.
IF ...
at the Tigers, Dimma didn't want to keep Mabior Chol after the 2021 season ...
THEN ...
even with a contract to the end of 2025, he wasn't going to want him upon his arrival at the Suns. And off Chol goes again, directed by Dimma, to the struggling Hawks.
IF ...
the key forwards (McKay, Lynch, Naughton) and midfielders (Martin, Oliver, Petracca, Coniglio, Whitfield, Kelly, Taranto, Hopper) have been the players getting the in-vogue seven and eight-year contracts ...
THEN ...
key defender Sam Taylor deserves the first 10-year deal since the Bears’ offer to Alastair Lynch in 1994.
IF ...
the Hawks used the 2022 trade period to send the message to the footy world that they weren't intending to win many matches in 2023 ...
THEN ...
no surprise that they're getting a lot of rejections from high-end talent in this year's trade period from players wanting to find new homes. And Tom Mitchell says thanks for not just phasing him out of operations in 2022, but forcing him out at its conclusion and then choosing to pay him to play for this year's premiers, Collingwood. Ten contested possessions - and official votes in the Norm Smith Medal - for Mitchell in the Grand Final, 12 in the prelim final, 10 in the qualifying final. The type of player who could help shape a developing club.
IF ...
Clarry and Aker are poles apart as people ...
THEN ...
they're similar as elite football talents and in how their football clubs have chosen to view their character. In the 2000s when they were winning flags, the Lions were prepared to tolerate, sometimes turn a blind eye and even defend Aker's annoying ways. And then only when the winning stopped did they want to make a stand on such behaviour. Aker never changed. His club's views on him did, though. Now, doesn't that sound familiar after the events of this week.
IF ...
the Roos, as now expected, secure Dylan Stephens from the Swans ...
THEN ...
he could become a very good acquisition. Was very good at times in Sydney's Grand 2022 Grand Final campaign.
IF ...
at one stage early in their careers, Xavier Duursma was tracking as well as Connor Rozee and Zak Butters ...
THEN ...
injury, and a subsequent lack of opportunity, has badly curtailed that progress. Looking likely Duursma will seek a change of club.
IF ...
Port Adelaide had initial interest but then waned on Ivan Soldo ...
THEN ...
he’s probably still open to a move.
IF ...
Paddy Dow and Liam Henry are close to locks as new Saints, and Dylan Shiel also likely ...
THEN ...
a fair bit of talent must exit, too, with Gresham and Billings on the cards. And then watch this space, right through to the end of the trade deadline on October 18.
IF ...
Callum Mills was prepared to volunteer an appearance at a media conference to address his Mad Monday shoulder-damage debacle ...
THEN ...
what a waste of time it ultimately was. Looked and sounded like a hostage. And yep, he's sorry. Yep, he's remorseful. Yep, Horse wasn't happy. We knew all of that. But to refuse to explain what happened was a ridiculous media strategy.
IF ...
the Eagles couldn't even convince Dev Robertson, via a deal worth more than double what the Lions put to him, to head their way ...
THEN ...
it was another sign of just how far this once mighty organisation has fallen.
IF ...
I've loved Aaron Naughton's style since his first game in 2018 ...
THEN ...
I'm also highly dubious about giving him a nine-season contractual commitment through to the end of 2032. Finished a distant ninth in the 2023 best-and-fairest count and in six seasons has placed just once (2022). After a highly embarrassing loss in Melbourne to woeful West Coast in round 22 cost the club a finals berth, the Dogs were desperate to fast-track this deal and announce it at Wednesday's Charles Sutton Medal function.
AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL
IF ...
the free agent was meant to become the big ticket item in the player movement space when he was introduced to the game 11 years ago ...
THEN ...
the free agent has quickly been usurped by the 'pre agent'. Clubs always find a way to regain control. Player managers are always in on the self-interest path. And control and self interest always find the loophole and the way.
