| IF | THEN | |
| Adelaide | Tex, Eddie, Josh and Tom do a number on the Hawks' Gibson-led backline ... | ... it will become official: this is THE best forward line in the comp. |
| Brisbane Lions | we were aghast at Nick Riewoldt playing last week ... | ... we are doubly aghast that Stef Martin has been selected this week. It just does not feel right. |
| Carlton | we were Brendon Bolton ... | ... we've got an eye on round six where the Bombers await. Got to get off the mark soon. |
| Collingwood | we thought we'd seen it all when it comes to creating media distractions ... | ... we realised we'd seen nothing until Perty bobbed up on Monday to talk about a swimmer's meltdown on a plane while refusing to talk about his own team's meltdown at the MCG. |
| Essendon | BJ keeps this up ... | ...even if Watson and Heppell return, there will need to be a discussion about who's captain in 2017. |
| Fremantle | there's one positive for Fremantle at the moment ... | ... it may be the fact Trav Cloke said, "no" three years ago. What's happened to that man? |
| Geelong | the Cats give up a first round pick for Lachie Henderson and then "rest" him after four weeks ... | ... something doesn't seem right. |
| Gold Coast | you want to make the finals and you lose to the Lions ... | ... you're probably not going to make the finals. |
| Greater Western Sydney | big Jono Patton can't get a game ... | ... he too will soon want out. |
| Hawthorn | Sam Mitchell maintains this start ... | ... he could have two, yes two, Brownlows by season's end, as well as a fifth flag and fifth best and fairest. |
| Melbourne | you recall the last time the Demons came off a really nice win ... | ... you'll remember they embarrassed themselves the next week against Essendon. Sunday's game is crucial on so many levels for this club. |
| North Melbourne | there's a guy who doesn't get the industry-wide plaudits ... | ... it is Ben Cunnington. |
| Port Adelaide | there's one team which really concerns us right now ... | ... it is the Power. We've been a believer under Kenny. But belief is draining rapidly. |
| Richmond | we all just took a breath every now and again ... | ... we'd all realise that it wasn't that big a deal that a wife defended her husband, that she had every right to do so any way she saw fit, and that we all need to stop seeking to be breathless about stuff that is very normal. |
| St Kilda | we were worried about this team two weeks ago ... | ...we're less worried now. |
| Sydney Swans | there's one game we're looking forward to this round ... | ... it is the Hawks-Crows fixture. But Swans v Eagles is a very, very close second. |
| West Coast | the coach publicly said he wanted some heat on Vickery last week ... | ... Scott Lycett should have realised he meant the Eagles crowd, not players. |
| Western Bulldogs | a team deserved some luck on injuries between now and finals ... | ... it is this one. |
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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian
