THE 2024 Toyota AFL Premiership Season is in full swing, and Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back!
So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.
So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.
>> Check out the latest from Damian Barrett
IF ...
Adelaide started the season with a 1-5 scoreline and its season seemed dead ...
THEN ...
a brilliant Showdown win last week has jolted its heart back into life. A banged-up Brisbane is up next, a banged-up Collingwood after that. Then West Coast, Hawthorn, Richmond. Have the capacity, and talent, to go from 1-5 to 8-5. But I remain doubtful.
IF ..
the Lions are being publicly diplomatic about the spate of ACL damage on the grass at the Gabba in the past 12 months, with their players McCarthy, Gardiner, Doedee, Ashcroft and Coleman (though his damage was incurred by opponent contact), as well as the Blues' Docherty ...
THEN ...
I don't have the same venue-contractual restrictions, and I'd be asking lots and lots and lots of questions.
IF ...
the score on the final siren on Thursday night was all that mattered ...
THEN ...
the 25 minutes before the final siren against Melbourne were a major worry. Take the four premiership points, yes. But yet again, there were too many unconvincing, shaky moments when the opposition surged. And of course, there was another soft tissue problem, another one to Cerra.
IF ...
you belt a guy in the head from behind, as Lachie Schultz did on Blake Acres in round eight ...
THEN ...
a one-week ban isn't enough. Lucky Lachie.
IF ...
Sam Durham was on the open market ...
THEN ...
as weird as it sounds for a player who was overlooked by every club multiple times in multiple drafts and has just 56 matches to his name, he'd be placing at least $800,000, maybe even a mill, on his head. Adrian Dodoro would be forgiven if he was to give the lookaway middle finger to the rest of the comp on this one, having found him in the 2021 mid-season draft.
IF ...
Sean Darcy's comeback lasted just three matches before another injury ...
THEN ...
it's a major worry. Really wanted to see how the Darcy-Jackson ruck combo fared against Grundy.
IF ...
the Cats had beaten the Dees last week, which they probably should have done given Jez Cameron sprayed two late chances, and stayed unbeaten for the season ...
THEN ...
I highly doubt Tom Hawkins would've copped the heavy scrutiny. I get it. For a full-forward to go four consecutive games without a goal is a talking point. But he's still taking THE best defender every week. And the Cats are functioning very nicely.
IF ...
Clarko got zero, Finlayson got three weeks and Powell copped five ...
THEN ...
Clarko, as I said at the time, was extraordinarily fortunate to escape. But Powell deserved five. And the next person to infringe with a homophobic comment will hopefully get seven.
IF ...
Cogs is back after a knee injury ...
THEN ...
the Giants should be back on the winners list, against the Bombers on Saturday. But will Tom Green's foot injury allow him to play? Named in the side. But line ball at best.
IF ...
skipper James Sicily had been slow to make an impact in 2024 ...
THEN ...
his round eight game against the Bulldogs was up there with his very best. Smashed shoulder, a head hit, a sore leg. And leadership out of the Luke Hodge manual. Unfortunately, it took a toll. Unavailable this week against the Saints.
IF ...
Trac won a Norm Smith Medal in 2021 ...
THEN ...
the game he played on Thursday night, in a losing team, was nearly as good. Five goals, one behind, 21 disposals, seven tackles, six marks, somehow keeping his team in a contest in which it failed to even score in the first quarter. But forget the numbers. His Thursday night heroics were close, if not equal to, that extraordinary September 2021 night at Optus Stadium.
IF ...
the Roos' last win came in the final round last year, and was against the team they will play in round nine ...
THEN ...
surely they're a chance on Saturday night, the Suns. They need a W for sooooooo many reasons. No excuses.
IF ...
I had loved absolutely everything about Kenny's 12 years in charge of this joint ...
THEN ...
I cringed when the club panicked, and he personally signed-off on, the decision to play Connor Rozee in the Showdown last week. What a disaster.
IF ...
Balta, Prestia and Graham are back ...
THEN ...
the Tigers are a massive chance against the Bulldogs on Saturday night.
IF ...
"you're quite brilliant, Shane", "let the cobblers do the cobbling", "we support the person, challenge the behaviour", and even the "we don't rebuild, but re-stump, we re-wire and we re-plumb" have always been my favourite Ross The Boss-isms ...
THEN ...
here comes "namby pamby"!! After Darcy Wilson was crunched by Georgie Wardlaw last week, Ross said: "Let's not be namby pamby and get him off when the kid deserved to stay on." I love namby pamby.
IF ...
Heeney, Gulden and Grundy are grabbing the big headlines ...
THEN ...
don't sleep on my man, The Chad. Has been very, very good in four of the eight games played, and good in the other four.
IF ...
there's been a big, strapping, blond-haired midfielder consuming all the media space this season ...
THEN ...
the fanfare around Harley Reid has been warranted. But there's another big, strapping blond-haired midfielder who is going very nicely, too, but yet to get the headlines which will soon come. Reuben Ginbey. He, too, seems ready to explode.
IF ...
the Bulldogs and Bevo have quite deliberately chosen to embrace the "woe is us" and "woe is me" approach in response to the justified media critiques ...
THEN ...
that's as questionable as some of the performances this year. Take out the comments of Sam Draper, a footballer from another club, and the media commentary on club and coach has been validated.
AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL
IF ...
I am against a send-off rule ...
THEN ...
I am open to a coach-call time-out, at any stage of the final quarter. Reckon it would add genuine drama.