THE 2024 Toyota AFL Premiership Season is in full swing, and Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back!

So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.

So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> Check out the latest from Damian Barrett 

IF ...

in this corresponding round 10, 23 years ago, Leigh Matthews forever transformed the Brisbane Lions with his "if it bleeds, we can kill it" line directed straight between the eyes of the reigning premier Essendon ...

THEN ...

there's the motivation for the Crows to finally snap out of near misses and disappointment. This season's reigning premier, Collingwood, awaits them at the MCG on Saturday. The Pies are bleeding badly. Injuries everywhere. Let's see what Matty Nicks and Izak Rankine and co. have got. No. More. Excuses.

IF ...

the start to the year was a semi disaster ...

THEN ...

the past fortnight has been very impressive. Dealt with adversity before and during the round eight match against Gold Coast, and pushed a quality opponent in the Crows to a draw at Adelaide Oval last Sunday. Don't write off the Lions. Yet.

IF ...

Pressure Ratings have become a buzz performance measurement ...

THEN ...

the recent red-line readings on Blues' director of high performance Andrew Russell have now blown the machine to smithereens. Soft tissue injuries everywhere. Jack Martin back for one game, gone again. Adam Cerra back for two, gone again. Adam Saad, Jesse Motlop still sidelined. Mitch McGovern one game back after another setback. Hearts in mouths every time Jacob Weitering goes near the ball. There's a Carlton premiership tilt at stake here, but only if the en masse soft tissue injuries can be stopped.

IF ...

Lachie Schultz is yet to find form as a Pie ...

THEN ...

what an opportunity he will get at the MCG on Saturday against the Crows. Back after a one-week suspension (which should have been two or three, given it was a hit to the back of an opponent's head), and into an injury-depleted team where he will need to have impact.

IF ...

it was understandably doom and gloom after the fourth game of the 2024 season, which was a 69-point loss to Port Adelaide and left the Bombers 2-2 ...

THEN ...

how the mood has changed in the five matches which have followed! Unbeaten since, North (on Sunday at Marvel Stadium) and Richmond up next. Couldn't possibly miss finals from here.

IF ...

the Dockers choose to shed their conservative ways for Saturday night's match against the Saints ...

THEN ...

they should win easily. Too many guns, if they're allowed to play with flair.

IF ...

the Cats were unbeaten after seven games, were very good against Melbourne before losing by eight points in round eight, and were OK in a six-point defeat by Port Adelaide in round nine ...

THEN ...

Thursday night against Gold Coast was poor. Yes, Jez, Danger, Sam and Tom were out. And they still hit 100 points. But they conceded 164. Not panic stations, yet. But they need a reset, because too many facets of on-field operations are breaking down for long periods.

IF ...

there have been soooo many false dawns, particularly after the now-annual two matches in Darwin ...

THEN ...

this one at least feels different. Thursday night versus the Cats was brilliant, and Rowell, Anderson, Humphrey and King outstanding. But we've seen this before. I need a whole lot more evidence before I'm convinced that this time it's real.

IF ...

the Giants-Bulldogs rivalry started even before GWS played a game in the AFL after the poaching of Callan Ward ...

THEN ...

there have been extraordinarily dramatic layers to it since. Ryan Griffen. Tom Boyd. The 2016 prelim final. Toby's boot to the face of Dahlhaus. Bont's hit on Haynes. Toby's wandering fingers "exploration" of Bont's face. Haynes weirdly tossing the coin. Saturday twilight fixture in Sydney. Bring it on.

IF ...

as recently as round 20 last year, Jack Scrimshaw was named as an emergency, and if only three weeks ago he had coach Sam Mitchell directing some fiery words his way after a mistake during a game against the Swans ...

THEN ...

what a great story of perseverance this week, with the signing of a three-year contract extension. Clearly, an important part of the next phase of Mitchell's blueprint.

IF ...

the greatest impediment to the Demons' success continues to be their forward line ...

THEN ...

I'm really looking forward to seeing how the latest plan works. Shane McAdam in for his first game as a Dee. A prodigiously talented footballer.

IF ...

Clarko now needs to try something dramatic to combat the never-ending embarrassing results ...

THEN ...

I'd suggest some old-fashioned, within-rules aggro and nastiness against Essendon. There's enough reason to fire up. Brad Scott, Ben McKay, Todd Goldstein among the motivation sources. As well as that one-time staple – pride.

IF ...

the grit and class displayed in the win against Geelong at the Cattery in round one was top shelf ...

THEN ...

then it needs to become the standard, not the exception.

IF ...

Peggy, Dimma, Cotch and now Benny have called it quits ...

THEN ...

the proper rebuild needs to start now, not at the end of the year. The Tigers wanted to be Geelong in building a platform for sustained high-end ladder finishes. They quickly ended up as Hawthorn. That's OK, and it is not criticism, for the success was legendary. And Gale in my eyes was the No.1 architect of it all, by some distance. But now that he's publicly said he's going to be CEO at Tassie Devils, and that he had been pondering that role for 12 months, he, like Dimma, has checked out on Richmond. And decisions he deems important for the Tigers to make in the next few months may not align with the views of the person who will be replacing him.

IF ...

Paddy Dow couldn't crack it for a regular gig at Carlton ...

THEN ...

now that he's recovered from knee bruising, he should be able to find a crucial place in a threadbare Saints midfield.

IF ...

many ingredients are required for a premiership ...

THEN ...

selection integrity is one of the staples. That Luke Parker has been fit for three weeks and can't reclaim a spot in the Swans team is extraordinary. One of the club's greatest ever players. A three-time best and fairest winner, a three-time placegetter in the same award. An All-Australian, a premiership player, a Brownlow Medal runner-up.

IF ...

Jake Waterman has been outstanding this season and is back for Sunday's match against Narrm after concussion ...

THEN ...

this match for him will be a challenge. The May-Lever combo will, as always, be ultra-tough to crack.

IF ...

the AFL Rising Star award, instituted in 1993, has been won by players in their second seasons, including Nick Riewoldt, Sam Mitchell, Luke Jackson and Daniel Talia ...

THEN ...

it hasn't ever gone to a third-season player. Sam Darcy on track for a footy first. Has kicked goals in all eight games he's played this year, 16 from eight, including a bag of four and two threes. While Harley Reid remains seemingly everyone's first choice, Darcy's form is surely at least equal. He meets the criteria – under 21 years of age at January 1, less than 10 matches before the season started.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

I've regularly been critical of the AFL for leniency in its sanctioning of various incidents and actions ...

THEN ...

a massive tick for the past two months. Finlayson, Powell for homophobic slurs, Webster for a head-hit, Higgins for a dangerous tackle, and now the Collingwood supporter who touched a player last weekend. No confusion, no mixed messages, no ambiguity. Hope it is sustained.