THE 2024 Toyota AFL Premiership Season is in full swing, and Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back!

So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.

So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> Check out the latest from Damian Barrett 

IF ...

Izak Rankine is a massive loss for Sunday’s match against Harley Reid and his 22 teammates ...

THEN ...

Elliott Himmelberg's absence is also a pretty big problem. Semi-danger game, this one. Real problems if the Crows lose.

IF ...

you take your mind back to Grand Final day last year ...

THEN ...

you'll remember Zac Bailey kicking one of the great Grand Final goals. He's back after a nasty ankle injury for the Lions, who are on a nice little roll (win-draw-win in the past three weeks against Suns, Crows, Tigers) after a dreadful start to the year.

IF ...

it is unfortunate that Marc Pittonet aggravated a finger injury against Sydney last weekend and will miss Saturday's match against Gold Coast ...

THEN ...

season 2024 numbers suggest that will be a positive for Carlton. The Blues were 4-0 without him, 2-4 with him. And Tom De Koning seems to relish being the main midfield big man. 

IF ...

Nick Daicos was good for a maximum 10 votes from the two coaches involved in the game, as well as best afield 'honours' in seemingly every media outlet's take in the round 10 Pies-Crows match at the MCG ...

THEN ...

Champion Data had a different assessment. "We had him as the 21st best player on the ground … we've never seen him have less impact with ball in hand than what he did on the weekend," said Daniel Hoyne. Clearly, time for a reboot of those weird algorithms.

IF ...

you talk of all-time great footballers ...

THEN ...

Barry Davis, who passed away this week, is in that conversation. A member of the teams of the century at this club and North Melbourne, where he was captain and best and fairest in the Roos' inaugural VFL premiership in 1975. Before that, a three-time best and fairest winner at the Dons, and a twice runner-up in the Brownlow. And more importantly than all of that, a great person. 

IF ...

there are so many naysayers on Sean Darcy ... 

THEN ...

I'm in the fan club. I reckon the Jackson-Darcy combo has the potential to be next level. Really keen to see how it goes against Collingwood at Optus Stadium on Friday night.

IF ...

Jez, Tom, Mitch and Sam are back for the game against the Giants ...

THEN ...

after three consecutive losses, winning order should be restored. It certainly needs to be. The losses against the Demons and Power were more than acceptable. But the belting by the Suns wasn't. 

IF ...

Dimma once bemoaned, straight-faced, that it was a burden as a Richmond person to have to play a game at Marvel Stadium, a whole 3.9km from the Tigers' home ground, the MCG ("mate I hate coming here … the MCG has got soul … our people don't come here," he said in 2021 ...

THEN ...

how's his hypocrisy this week when, as a Gold Coast Suns person, he labelled "laughable" and "downright disrespectful" those who had been complaining of perceived favourable travel treatment of some non-Victorian clubs?

IF ...

the near-unbelievable form surge in the 2023 season came after a 4-7 start and ended in a one-point preliminary final loss ...

THEN ...

it obviously started without the burden of expectation. Giants not yet dealing well with that state – expectation – in 2024.

IF ...

the last quarter against Port Adelaide last Sunday was a complete, utter and embarrassing disaster ...

THEN ...

James Sicily returning for this Sunday's game versus Brisbane is a big positive. Surely, if Sic was available last week, that nightmare wouldn't have occurred.

IF ...

Tango and Cash were a great Hollywood combo in a late 1980s movie ...

THEN ...

May and Lever have been a fantastic footy duo in the past five and a half years in the Demons' story. But Sylvester Stallone will be without Kurt Russell on Sunday. And Max King will enjoy that.

IF ...

Cam Zurhaar had a lot to say when Jason Horne-Francis took off at the end of 2022 ...

THEN ...

let's see what he's got when they meet on opposing teams in Hobart on Saturday. Talk is fine. Actions are the only things that matter.

IF ...

I was running Port Adelaide ...

THEN ...

there would be no way I would be playing Connor Rozee and his suspect hamstring against North Melbourne on Saturday. Sure, I've heard the Power say he's good to go. Heard them say the same thing before the Showdown in round eight, and didn't that work out well.

IF ...

there are some things Dusty loves more than most ...

THEN ...

among those things are big stages, big crowds, big moments. He will get all of those things on Saturday night, in Dreamtime at the ‘G. Really hope he rediscovers something near his all-time great best as he moves to within two games of 300.

IF ...

Mattaes Phillipou played all 24 matches for the Saints in his debut 2023 season ...

THEN ...

season 2024 is not unfolding nicely. Axed twice before half-way. Ross The Boss doesn't seem to like his attitude at the moment.

IF ...

I told you many times in 2022 when he had played less than 20 games, and again in 2023, that there was a certain Swans midfielder who was destined for greatness ...

THEN ...

he's well on the way in 2024. The Chad. Just a lazy four goals (19 for the year), a Mark of the Year contender (given Liam Jones launched a fist into his right bicep) and some ridiculous goal assists on Thursday night in yet another best-afield domination. Doing stuff that no one else could even contemplate doing. Might be a Swans one-two-three on Brownlow night. Chad, Isaac, Errol.

IF ...

Harley, Jake and Elliot have been the main acts in the Eagles' transformation this year ...

THEN ...

the old warrior Jeremy has been very good, too. Four seasons have elapsed since McGovern received his fourth All-Australian gong. He may not quite be back to that type of form, but he looks to be fit again, and getting better each week.

IF ...

the effort on Thursday night against the Swans was gallant ...

THEN ...

it also was deflating. Now, a nervous wait over the scans on Naughton’s knee. Richards and Scott out with head knocks. And a tough-ish three weeks coming up, in Collingwood, Brisbane and Fremantle.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

this is more a Channel 7 issue than an AFL one ...

THEN ...

I'm nevertheless asking the AFL to intervene in the host broadcaster's unexplained penchant for taking camera angles from seemingly the pie stall outside the ground in the forward pocket for shots at goal in the second quarter of Friday's Dogs-Swans game. Interesting choice to regularly give the home viewer a far, far, far worse shot than the person sitting in the worst seat in the stadium.