THE 2024 Toyota AFL Premiership Season is heading towards a dramatic conclusion, and Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back for another week!
So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.
So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.
>> Check out the latest from Damian Barrett
IF ...
the Crows were more than comfortable to blame a goal umpiring error for the 2023 season to be deemed a wasted year ...
THEN ...
it has only itself to chastise this year. Their best is too good to be sitting in an embarrassing 14th place on the ladder.
IF ..
from last weekend's team there is no Andrews and no Joyce, having already been subjected to no Coleman, no Payne, no Gardiner and no Doedee in the backline ...
THEN ...
Hipwood is almost certainly going to be required to play as a key defender against the Suns on Saturday. Just another challenge for coach Fagan in a season in which he has answered every single one.
IF ...
TDK's absence leaves a massive hole ...
THEN ...
the one left by Blacres is nearly as big. Has been an outstanding player for the Blues the past two seasons, and his powerful running will be sorely missed .
IF ...
I thought Port Adelaide fans had a stranglehold on the title of Most Pathetic Boo-ers Of 2024, after their deplorable targeting of their own coach Ken Hinkley ...
THEN ...
Collingwood fans are making things interesting. What a pathetic, and highly hypocritical, showing last Sunday, in giving it to Jack Ginnivan. It was only last year those same fans were in outrage mode when other supporter groups were booing Ginnivan.
IF ...
Darcy Parish hasn't played since round nine ...
THEN ...
having lost four of the past six matches the Bombers desperately need him back. The classy midfielder has been selected to play against the Saints on Saturday night. Hope his problematic calf is good to go.
IF ...
the greatest mystery of the 2024 season was Richmond beating Sydney in round three ...
THEN ...
the second greatest mystery may have been the Eagles defeating the Dockers in round six. It won't be happening again on Saturday night. This one should be a 12-goal Dockers win.
IF ...
even this year I've written and said that Jez Cameron may still be the most dynamic player in the comp ...
THEN ...
certainly not last weekend, against the Bulldogs. That was one of the worst games of his extraordinary career.
IF ...
the Suns have only twice before reached a double figure amount of wins in a season, in 2014 and 2022 ...
THEN ...
they're poised to get there again in 2024. Currently on nine. They get a banged-up Brisbane on Saturday.
IF ...
inflation is out of control and James Hird 20 years ago copped a $20,000 fine for using the word "disgraceful" to describe an umpire ...
THEN ...
how lucky was Tom Green this week! Green, who said elements of the AFL's judiciary system was a "disgrace" and "ruining the game", was spared a financial sanction, with the AFL formally reprimanding him for his comments made on his own podcast.
IF ...
already there are mock paparazzi photos, shoosh motions, out-there handshakes, sleep-tight tauntings of opposition supporters, group hugs, group selfies, kisses of the Hawk logo on guernseys, tongue pokes, guernsey tugs and smiles absolutely everywhere ...
THEN ...
I love it, can't get enough, wish there was more of it in the AFL. Reckon one of the Hawks might soon have a Justin Jefferson-style "Griddy" in their post-goal repertoire, maybe a Cam Newton "Superman" move, or a Deion Sanders' "prime-time dance", even a Jaylen Waddle "waddle".
IF ...
the Dees' season is on a knife edge ...
THEN ...
it's all on Big Maxxy, again. Rushed back from a broken leg for Saturday night's game against GWS, after just two weeks on the sidelines. Hope he doesn't make it worse.
IF ...
Luke Davies-Uniacke has unluckily not yet won a best-and-fairest ...
THEN ...
maybe 2024 will be his year. Has had another very nice season. Seems to be a race in three, with last year's winner Harry Sheezel, who is still only 19 years old, and ruck Tristan Xerri also well in the mix.
IF ...
Zak Butters wants a role model ...
THEN ...
hello, Toby Greene. These two are now the heaviest-fined players in AFL history. Toby still pushes boundaries, but eventually heeded the AFL message. Butters is yet to work it out, and two more fines last week took his lifetime tally to $36,250. He may have been a tad unlucky last week, but equally he may have been a tad fortunate in the past to not cop match sanctions. Time for him to sort this out.
IF ...
there has been very little for Tigers supporters to celebrate this year ...
THEN ...
officially killing-off a most hated rival's chances of defending a premiership would provide reason for at least a small party. Big incentive for Sunday's match against Collingwood at the MCG.
IF ...
Liam Henry was fit and available for Saturday's match against Essendon ...
THEN ...
I reckon the Saints would've been a massive chance for an upset. Might still be, anyway. The 2024 season has been dreadful, but the past seven weeks have been OK. Wins against Sydney, Gold Coast and West Coast (twice), and a two-point loss to Port Adelaide within that stretch of games.
IF ...
Callum Mills has a lot of catching up to do on the 2024 season after his Mad Monday injury last year ...
THEN ...
a key role in a win for his injury-depleted team on Sunday against the Bulldogs would go some way to achieving that. Need to get back on the winners list, the Swans, after three losses in the past four matches.
IF ...
parting ways with Adam Simpson was supposed to stop the slide into an abyss ...
THEN ...
it hasn't. Still in free fall.
IF ...
Liam Jones is fit to resume on Sunday ...
THEN ...
I'm really keen to see how a Jones-Lobb-Khamis key-back combo looks. In his absence, Lobb and Khamis have been excellent.
AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL
IF ...
player names on the backs of guernseys was a proposal strongly pushed for by the Giants but rejected by the AFL ...
THEN ...
I hope it is revisited. Have never understood why this wasn't part of our game.