WITH the 2024 Toyota AFL Premiership season racing to a stunning conclusion, Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is in full swing.
So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.
So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.
>> Check out the latest from Damian Barrett
IF ...
the 2025 season already looms as make or break for Matty Nicks after five years of double-digit ladder finishes ...
THEN ...
the Crows may as well load right up in the forward line and win the bid for Jack Lukosius.
IF ..
Fages' finals coaching record once had a 1-5 scoreline ...
THEN ...
it's now 7-7. These Lions players clearly play for him, even when 44 points down, as they were last weekend against GWS. There may have been two straight-sets exits, in 2019 and 2021, for Fages, but there have now been six wins from the past eight finals, with the most recent loss being by just four points in last year's Grand Final.
IF ...
the Blues are embarking on a Spring cleanout ...
THEN ...
as difficult as it is for the individuals potentially needing new homes, I'm all for it, as it will create the required space for the much-needed Dan Houston.
IF ...
after a near-perfect dynamic in 2023 in off-field footy operations there was a volatile clash of egos and role confusion in 2024 following Graham Wright's exit ...
THEN ...
losing senior assistant coach Hayden Skipworth would be another big blow. One of at least three remaining in the running for the vacant Eagles senior coaching job.
IF ...
a lot of Bombers members were this week questioning whether to recommit to a membership after a big price hike and 20 consecutive failed seasons ...
THEN ...
Zach Merrett's management choosing to test the club, and footy marketplace, seeking more millions for the already contracted captain, was interesting timing and strategy.
IF ...
there has been just one finals win in the five years of Justin Longmuir's coaching ...
THEN ...
the Dockers must go all-out on securing both Shai Bolton and Liam Baker. It's belated time for coach and club to make proper impact in a finals series.
IF ...
there has been extensive debate outside of Geelong about who will play on Joe Daniher ...
THEN ...
I reckon the Cats' Mr Fixit Mark Blicavs will be the guy.
IF ...
Dusty to the Suns has been a storyline for at least four years already ...
THEN ...
for the past 18 months it has been generated by the Martin camp only. Dusty would need to get his head around a sub-$400,000 a season pay packet, too.
IF ...
since last Saturday night Adam Kingsley has had more than two stints of sleep lasting 15 minutes ...
THEN ...
I'd be surprised. I feel for him. He should be coaching in a preliminary final this weekend. Should've been coaching in last year's Grand Final. After very nice leads, has lost his past three finals by five, six and one points. This will require mountain-sized mind power to rectify.
IF ...
Dylan Moore was a thoroughly deserving All-Australian in 2024 ...
THEN ...
he was quiet in two finals. And he's on notice for his high-end talents of manoeuvring his head into free kick-awarding positions, no matter where an opponent first makes contact when tackling him. He's in Ginni 2022 areas.
IF ...
Brand Petracca has hated the criticism directed its way in recent weeks ...
THEN ...
choosing, again, to place Brand Petracca ahead of Demon Petracca certainly won't make the criticism disappear. This time he's off to an overseas training camp run by an energy drink company private sponsor, and will miss the Dees' best and fairest count. Once again, I am aware and respectful of the severe mental and physical damage he has suffered this season. But I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have missed the B&F if he was a chance to win it. And he could've made the arrangements to leave for the energy drink private sponsor engagement the day after the function.
IF ...
Jack Darling has struggled playing for a team which in the past three seasons has finished 16th, 18th and 17th ...
THEN ...
I have no idea why anyone at this club, which has finished 17th, 17th and 18th in the same stretch, believes he is worthy of a multi-year contract. Just to reiterate here – I have always admired Darling's time in the AFL. But at 32 and with 298 matches behind him, I reckon there are many better options for this struggling club.
IF ...
Willie Rioli was fortunate to have not been banned for life, or at least four years, after substituting a sports drink for urine in an ASADA test in 2019 ...
THEN ...
he's making the most of that second chance. An exquisitely talented forward who is arguably the Power's most important player.
IF ...
the premiership photos were removed from the player spaces at Punt Rd early in the year ...
THEN ...
so too are the actual premiership players. Only eight left now. And it might soon be down to seven - I reckon Tom Lynch is open to an offer from a club which needs a gun, albeit injury-prone, full-forward.
IF ...
Saint Josh Battle is off to the Hawks ...
THEN ...
Hawk Sam Frost would make sense as a 2025 Saint. With Tom Barrass to join Battle in the Hawthorn backline, Frost, despite compiling a career-best season in 2024, is going to face a selection squeeze.
IF ...
it's shatteringly tough, again, for Taylor Adams to miss a key final ...
THEN ...
it's the right call. Robbie Fox, as the most like-for-like replacement, comes in for injured captain Callum Mills against the Power on Friday night.
IF ...
I was running West Coast right now ...
THEN ...
I'd be telling Chad Warner, out of contract at the end of 2025, that there is a $1.8 million a year offer to become an Eagle, starting 2026. Don Pyke probably already has. Imagine a Warner-Reid midfield combo.
IF ...
The Bont polled 33 votes in 2021 and 29 in 2023 and still hasn't got a Brownlow ...
THEN ...
he's desperately unlucky. Twice runner-up. Three other times (2016, 2017, 2019) top eight. Would love to see him win on Monday.
AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL
IF ...
the AFL dares to schedule a Port Adelaide-Hawthorn match next year in a marquee Friday night slot, or as a season-opener, or even as a Gather Round fixture ...
THEN ...
I'll be channelling the Terry Wallace 'I'll spew up' threat. Headquarters has fully relinquished any right to cash in on the next Power-Hawks battle after choosing to hit Kenny with a ridiculously over-the-top 'conduct unbecoming' charge.