11.16pm
MP: Right, that's it then. On behalf of Steve and myself, many thanks for joining us for tonight's count.
Be sure to stick around for afl.com.au's full coverage of Cooney's win, including interviews with the man himself, reaction, photo galleries and more.
Get your whistle wet with our red carpet video.
11.06pm
MP: When he is done being Brownlow Medallist, Adam Cooney surely has a future as a sportsmen's night raconteur. Further Cooney revelations:
- His love-hate relationship with school was mostly hate
- He proposed to his fiancee by offering her a burger ring
- He hasn't called his grandma in a while
- Or his parents
- He couldn't have done it without his teammates. Huzzah! Brownlow Bingo bonus points. We're sure if you stick around long enough we'll also learn that the Coon Dog would give away his medal to be running out on the MCG on Saturday.
11.05pm
MP: The champion Bulldog is very composed as he hops up to receive the 2008 Chas Brownlow Medal.
Cooney immediately raises the bar for future acceptance speeches by mentioning ‘bush pigs’ in his opening salvo. That was the original nickname for his junior footy team – since changed, surprisingly.
10.58pm
SL: What a finish...
Here's the final leaderboard as I, and everyone else, sees it. The top 10 anyway:
Adam Cooney (WB) 24
Simon Black (Bris) 23
Gary Ablett (Geel) 22
Matthew Richardson (Rich) 22
Adam Goodes (Syd)* 21
Lance Franklin (Haw)* 20
Joel Selwood (Geel) 19
Brent Harvey (NM) 17
Matthew Pavlich (Fre) 17
Chris Judd (Carl) 16
*ineligible
10.56pm
MP: Last round - it's all down to this. Can Ablett poll against West Coast? No! He's pipped by Ling, Bartel, Johnson. Story of Ablett's night there - too many votes taken away from him by teammates.
Cooney is voteless ... Black too ... and so is Richo! Which means it is ADAM COONEY'S BROWNLOW MEDAL!
10.53pm
MP: Pretender Chris Newman ruins Richo's party, pinching three votes in the Tigers' round 21 win over Fremantle.
And Adam Cooney leaps to the front with three votes against Essendon! Black voteless but is a chance in round 22.
10.49pm
MP: Round 20 - this could be huge in the scheme of things. And it's three votes to Ablett, two to Cooney ... and three to Matthew Richardson!
We're two rounds off and it's Black (23) leading by one from Ablett and Richo, with Cooney one back on 21 points alongside Adam Goodes, who is ineligible.
10.42pm
SL: With three rounds to come, Simon Black still leads (and I'm still staying it), with Adam Goodes second on 21. Remember, he can't win.
Buddy Franklin, another one who's out of the running but, well, running has moved to third with 20.
Leo Barry, Jarrd McVeigh and co. found it amusing that Goodsey won just two votes against Freo despite kicking eight goals. A-ha. Jude Bolton was better.
10.34pm
MP: True to form, both Harvey and Bartel pick up votes in round 17. Still too much ground to make up for those two, you fancy.
10.32pm
MP: A few of the pre-count fancies are crashing in dramatic fashion. Boomer Harvey – eight votes, gorn. Jimmy Bartel – six votes, gorn.
If writing off those two off isn’t knocking on fate’s door, running away and giggling like a schoolboy, I don’t know what is.
10.29pm
SL: Tom Harley looks pretty happy with himself, collecting three votes in the round-15 flogging of the Dogs to move to 48th. The opportunities Ablett's absence can create...
So too has Simon Black (23), who just keeps on a-surging with three votes against West Coast a week later. He's now four clear of Ablett, Cooney and Richo, whose hair resembles Yahoo Serious after three-quarters of the room gave it a rub.
That's right. He's 33. Amazing! I almost forgot.
Don't forget the tracker as things get super serious. Even though we're trying to be quicker.
10.15pm
MP: Tragedy for Brownlow bingo fans as host Stephen Quartermain introduces Danielle Harvey with the words 'Behind every great man is an even greater woman'.
That wasn't on this year's card!
The entire Brownlow Bingo department here at afl.com.au looks sheepishly into his coffee.
10.14pm
MP: The evening's first saxophone. And its second Kate Ceberano. Hard to say which did a better job with 'Oh When the Saints'. The saxophone is stirring but Kate has better legs.
10.11pm
MP: Michael Voss strides onto centre stage, looking like a slightly burly member of the rat pack*. But wait, he’s not here to croon ‘Strangers in the night’, he’s here to roast and toast Robert Harvey. It’s a moving tribute to a man who ran like Forrest Gump and had a similar approach to grooming.
We enjoy a montage of Harvey and his original hair, which, as mentioned, sadly couldn’t be with us tonight.
*the original rat pack – not the one with Lou Diamond Phillips in it.
10.03pm
SL: Simon Black (20) still holds out from G. Ablett (19), A. Cooney (19), A. Goodes (19) and M. Richardson (16), who had to sit through N. Foley, J. McMahon and J. Riewoldt in round 15. Fair enough, he's injured for a fortnight.
10.02pm
SL: That's right, Chris Judd and Matthew Lloyd collided in round 13 and Lloydy had to have a hair reconstructed. Voteless, they both were.
It was a different story for Gary Ablett, who took three in the smashing of West Coast. But Jimmy Bartel was the stand-out against Adelaide in round 14. No love for either in round 15, with Joel Selwood the main taker.
Freo skipper Matthew Pavlich, despite his side's misfortunes, is looking rather smoky with 12. Brett Kirk is in a similar possie.
And in tonight's other big news, Jason Akermanis just caught himself looking at the camera.
9.56pm
MP: In our celebration of community football earlier, we journeyed from Cobden to Badu Island, in the Torres Strait. The men of Badu were once warrior / hunter / headhunter types, feared alike by men and dugongs. Shockingly, it has no miniature railway.
9.49pm
SL: Simon Black earned three votes against Fremantle in round 11 to make it 20.
Remember that Jimmy Bartel won '07 with 29, while Black was equal second with 22. Our man Matt 'Burgo' Burgan expects He of the Lions to get one in the last two rounds of the season.
Adam Goodes, though ineligible, is now on 19, as is Adam Cooney with that thick, red hair, while Gary Ablett and Richo round out the top five with 16 each.
"I've been extremely fortunate. Blown away, to be honest, to have this many votes already," says Black, while unsure where his next votes will lob.
9.48pm
MP: Ripples of excitement from Brownlow Bingo players as master caller Andrew Demetriou pauses dramatically before confirming three votes for Adam Cooney in the round 13 match against the Brisbane Lions.
Score two bingo points if you were listening earlier when Gary Ablett pointed out that he couldn’t change the result and was here to enjoy the night.
9.36pm
MP: Adam Cooney leaps to the front. Who was the last red-headed Brownlow winner? My colleague says Brad Hardie. Does Michael Voss count?
9.35pm
MP: Community footy gets a few minutes in the spotlight, this being Australian football’s 150th year and all. First we’re off to Cobden. Cobden, should you be interested, is (perhaps) the dairy capital of the world. It has 890mm of rain per year, a miniature railway and, for those for whom a frustrating afternoon with a nine iron is nowhere near enough - an entire week of golf.
9.26pm
MP: Despair not, Jimmy Bartel fans (hello, Finland Icebreakers!). Last year’s winner is marooned on three votes with almost half the count gone, but he does have a huge second half of the year. He could poll votes in five consecutive games from rounds 14 to 18, and he was close to b-o-g in each of the last three matches.
9.20pm
SL: Simon Black is now leading with 15, and is expected to poll in the next couple.
See our Brownlow tracker. You must.
9.19pm
SL: The bumps, boos and hisses Chris Judd received when he returned to Perth to play his old club weren't rewarded, missing out on the votes.
A ruffle of the hair from a mystery hand welcomed another two more for Richo, who looks a little bemused by his luck.
He gave the thumbs-up when yet another two came in round eight to give him a very brief lead. Yes, Black again.
We were also reminded about Nick Malceski's brilliant comeback from knee surgery. Is it that long ago?
9.17pm
MP: Simon Black’s night might not be done yet. Local expert Matt Burgan has him collecting seven more votes in rounds 9-11, which would give him a whopping 18 votes by the halfway point. Chicken Smallhorn won with that total in 1933 – but you knew that. Right?
9.10pm
SL: Geelong coach Mark Thompson joked after the win over the Swans that the "umpires should be sacked" if Gary Ablett didn't earn three votes for his performance. He got 'em.
Draws between the Dogs and Tigers in round five and the Roos and Swans in round six would have made voting tricky, with the umps giving top nods to Matthew Boyd and Adam Goodes.
The remarkable jump of Simon Black continues though, polling 11 votes so far from a possible 18.
He leads from Matthew Richardson and Goodes, who are both on 10. Gary Ablett has six.
9.06pm
MP: Richo picks up another two votes in round five, to go with his best-on-grounds in rounds four and one. This could be terrible news for the big man, who is apparently the coyest man alive, given his attempt to hide behind a postcard when the camera found him earlier in the night.
9.03pm
MP: There’s a great clip of an interview with raging favourite Gary Ablett as a 14 year old. He is wearing a baseball hat, so there is still no answer to the age old question of whether Ablett junior ever had hair.
8.59pm
MP: No surprise to see Simon Black collecting votes like Luke Hodge collects bruises. If the season finished at round 15, Black would win the Brownlow every year.
8.54pm
SL: Bomber Mark McVeigh has made an early move to six, but remember he was struck down by a hammy a bit later in the season.
Brent Harvey, one of the favourites, has lifted to five, with plenty more to come no doubt.
But it's still all about Simon Black, who has kept his lead with eight after polling in three of the first four rounds.
8.46pm
SL: The count started in reverse, with Simon Black, Scott West, Simon Goodwin, Lenny Hayes, Brad Sewell, Craig Bolton, Gary Ablett, Corey Jones receiving the first bundle of threes, before A. Demetriou realised that he'd called out round two. Darn.
A quick correction then welcomed numbers for Matthew Richardson, Joel Corey, Anthony Rocca, Sam Fisher, Daniel Kerr, Adam Cooney, Sam Mitchell and Mark McVeigh.
So we're away. We think. Black has five, Corey has five and Mitchell has four. Around 680 have none.
8.43pm
MP: AFL supremo Andrew Demetriou takes the stage, and there’s a hush as he walks us through AFL regulation 17.
At the conclusion of each match the field umpires confer, give the three best and fairest players votes ranging from three to one, then place those votes in an envelope. The envelope is moistened with a lick of spit, sealed firmly with the heel of the hand and guarded until ... well, until tonight.
It’s one of the best regulations in the land.
8.41pm
SL: Stephen Quartermain has kicked the evening off after a big opening from songstress Kate Ceberano. Loud.
Gary Ablett and Jimmy Bartel look a bit more comfortable now, while Joel Selwood seems keen to avoid the cameras. Ah, good luck.
The early applause has fallen Matthew Richardson's way, with people obviously offering more claps each time it's revealed you're older than 30.
8.29pm
SL: Kane Cornes' plans to be unnoticed were dashed at the front door when he was mistaken for Max Rooke. He was then forced to correct the staffer, revealing his identity and even allowing him to tug on his beard.
8.21pm
SL: One of afl.com.au's strongest voices and the woman who will lead Geelong into this week's grand final, Felicity Percival (see Side by Side), has made an eye-catching ivy-green ascension up the stairs with fiancée Tom Harley. His profile is also growing by the day.
8.20pm
MP: Alex Fevola has a bit missing out of her dress. Presumably this is a symbolic representation of the goal that would have given Brendan his ton. Touching.
8.19pm
SL: Brian Lake, Matthew Boyd and Daniel Cross may be wondering what could have been, but it's good to see them smiling. Awww.
Bomber Jobe Watson is in a sling after a bit of post-season surgery on the shoulder. By the end of the night, he could be signing autographs as Chris Judd.
8.17pm
SL: Word is Cameron Bruce and his fellow Dees are already enjoying a healthy chat over who's going to take the chocolates in their three wins. Keep debating, boys. You have until round seven.
A huge day for Scott Burns and wife Jessica, who announced her retirement as the better half of Collingwood's current captain.
Thankfully, Carlton's Brendan Fevola looks a damn sight better than he did on Mad Monday. Wife Alex looks angelic in white.
8.14pm
MP: While not everyone scores a Brownlow invite, here at afl.com.au we are strong believers that Brownlow night is for the people – the punters who make our game great.
Which is why, in conjunction with My First Photoshop and knocked-this-up-in-four-and-a-half -minutes productions, we present Brownlow Bingo.
You’ll be relieved to hear that Brownlow Bingo is astonishingly simple to play.
Rule 1
Don't talk about Brownlow Bingo
Rule 2
Forget rule 1, then print out your Brownlow Bingo card and keep an ear on tonight’s coverage (look for the link in the top right corner of our live vote tracker)
Rule 3
When you hear each Brownlow cliché, cross off the box on your card.
Rule 4
When you have a full card (we’re tipping by about 9pm, the way the evening is going), call out ‘This one’s for all my teammates – fellers, I couldn’t have done it without you’ and run to the front of the room looking as sober as you can manage.
Your time starts now.
7.51pm
SL: Two big Mondays for Saint Sam Fisher. All-Australian selection last week, one of his club's better hopes again tonight. Lovely.
Welcome, Shane Woewodin and wife Deanne. The winner of the 2000 Brownlow Medal is now coaching East Fremantle in the WAFL.
Carlton's Bryce Gibbs is odds-on to win tonight. That is, the award for having the partner with the most colourful dress. A stunning display from Lauren Sharkey.
High & Mighty is one suit lighter thanks to Roo David Hale, who looks even loftier when in black and white. You rang? Bring on round 21 for him.
7.46pm
Matthew Price: Evening all. It’s a wet, rubbishy old night in Melbourne, which thankfully hasn’t affected the mood of football’s tuxedoed finest.
Here's a quick run down on the red carpet fashion so far:
Corey Enright has turned up in a tie so wide it just might be 1974.
Robert Harvey still has some other bloke’s hair on his head, which seems a shame in what will be his own hair's last Brownlow count as a listed player's barnet.
Meteorologist Rebecca Twigley has accessorised with what could either be a sea mine or an unusually spiky purse.
7.38pm
SL: Gary Ablett, tonight's favourite, looks very polished and complemented by the lovely Lauren Phillips. He's admitting to nerves. Maybe he's been scared off by déjà vu. Arrived last year, grand final to come, finished seventh in the count. Gaz, you couldn't finish seventh tonight if you tried (say several reputable bookmakers).
Great to see Ben Cousins along, accompanied by his mother Stephanie. Next year he may well be at a club table. Which one?
7.31pm
SL: Ah, Jonathan Brown. Looking very metro. Sounding very country.
Paul Medhurst has plugged Pierucci for his black velvet suit. Obviously the Maggie did his own hair again.
Hawthorn skipper Sam Mitchell has arrived with partner Lyndall, and says he's looking forward to a sober night. So am I.
7.24pm
SL: Rebecca Twigley has arrived, with some bald bloke who's wearing a sling. Tom Harley's not injured, is he? Oh, Juddy! Sorry, mate. How are you? Have a good night.
Shane Crawford, set for a big week as the player who's had to wait the longest to play in a GF, looks pretty calm considering. Partner Olivia says he did "a lot of bouncing around" after Saturday night's win over St Kilda, so he's obviously got that out of his system.
7.13pm
SL: Richmond legend Kevin Bartlett, the subject of the latest Toyota AFL commercial, arrived with his two male dates – who look remarkably like the blokes from those ads.
Young Carlton star Marc Murphy, rather red-faced, has brought partner Sarah for his first count, and will hope to shake some early nerves after a wonderful stroll up the carpet.
7.02pm
SL: To lead proceedings, AFL CEO Andrew Demetriou has stopped in with wife Symone. Thank God for that, otherwise Stephen Quartermain would have to read all the votes.
Regular guests Matthew and Lisa Lloyd grace the walk, with the Velvet Sledgehammer looking, well, exactly as he did five or six years ago. Hair and all. Splendid.
Big Eagle Dean Cox has chosen to bring brother Jason to the count, so those boys are obviously planning to put a few bevvies away.
6.58pm
SL: There's been the usual big build-up to this year's call, with Matt Burgan releasing his phantom Brownlow count this morning to much applause and back-slapping, and the presentation of a plastic Matt Burgan Medal to Geelong's Jimmy Bartel.
Around two people were present, but thousands upon thousands enjoyed a good read.
Bartel – the 2007 medallist – and teammate Gary Ablett are tonight's big favourites, with North Melbourne's pocket rocket Brent Harvey also expected to figure prominently and yet another Cat, Joel Corey, a chance to steal some from the leaders.
6.53pm
Steve Lavell: Hello and welcome to the 2008 Brownlow Medal count. Myself and my colleague Matthew Price will be with you all evening, resplendent in our penguin suits – if we do say so ourselves.
We'll be calling it as we see it, but for comprehensive vote-by-vote info, you'll want the official Brownlow Medal tracker, presenting each and every vote as they're called by Mr A. Demetriou.
The views in this article are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL.
