IF
 		THEN
 
Adelaide
 		Phil Walsh survives the season without a public display of losing his cool  ...... we will be mightily surprised. Not that there’s anything wrong with an AFL coach occasionally letting rip.
Brisbane Lions
 		you're James Aish ...... you're outta there. And if you're Leppa then you want to have good answers to why Aish, Leuenberger and Green, and others, have gone backwards this year.
Carlton
 		one particular organisation felt the need to run nine pages of glowing praise of Mick in the one edition ...... well done. But ask yourself why all the unnecessary loathing and goading before that.
Collingwood
 		Adrian Anderson was still at the AFL ...... Jack Crisp wouldn’t be playing because of betting on AFL games. Great that he is playing, and dominating on Anzac Day, but very fortunate that Mark Evans makes virtually everything go away.
Essendon
 		you have 82 more disposals than your opposition and yet kick just six goals for the game ...... you've got problems that need fixing immediately.
Fremantle
 		you're on really good money to play footy as your job ...... we just don't get why you don't at least present yourself in reasonable nick. Imagine if Sylvia had have had Barlow's sheer will to be the best he could be. Just imagine.
Geelong
 		Stevie J is ever a sub again ......well, he never will be a sub again.
Gold Coast
 		Malceski was prepared to take the good money ...... he simply had to make more impact in his first four games. Would've been axed if his knee injury hadn't flared. Fact.
Greater Western Sydney

 		there's a guy who in our eyes has gone from being a total unknown to one we can't see enough of playing footy ......it's Cam McCarthy. Something very, very special.
Hawthorn
 		Gibbo thought 2015 was going to be the season where he could be the third wheel in the backline, and he had good reason to think that given Frawley was added to Lake ...... he'd quicksmart better get his head around the requirements of being the top banana. Yet again.
Melbourne
 		Hogan is going to rightly have the spotlight beaming on him ...... some bright lights still need to be directed at Aaron vandenBerg. Just love his back story.
North Melbournethere’s going to be an unluckier first gamer this year to be omitted than Trent Dumont ...... he's going to be a seriously unlucky first-gamer.
Port Adelaide
 		 there was a Gold Lobbe being awarded on Sunday ...... it'd go to the Power's Matthew. He's back, and so too, in a big way, is his program, err footy club.
Richmond
 		Vickery doesn't take his opportunity this weekend ...... there won't be too many more chances.
St Kilda
 		there's one guy going OK for the Saints this year ...... it's Billy Longer. 51 hit-outs and 20 disposals last week. Starting to show why his former club took him at No.8 overall in a draft.
Sydney Swans
 		there's one fairytale we want to unfold this year ...... it's Adam Goodes going out with a bang. Back in the team this week.
West Coast
 		Sinclair can adequately assist Nic Nat against Mumford ...... the Eagles will be well on the way to making it two wins in a row. It's a big "if" though.
Western Bulldogsthere is room for sentiment, and please, surely there is ...... the Bulldogs will make a late change to the selected line-up and include Brett Goodes. Adam's back in for the Swans. It would mean the world for them and their family to play in the same AFL game. Go on, Dogs. Do it.


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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian