STRAP yourselves in, footy fans - Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is finally back for 2025. 

With less than a week until the opening bounce of the 2025 Toyota AFL Premiership Season, Damo's got plenty of thoughts about all 18 clubs - and the AFL - after another big off-season. 

So what is he saying about your team? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> ALL THE LATEST NEWS AND OPINION FROM DAMIAN BARRETT

IF ...

I've never liked the concept of co-captains at AFL clubs ...

THEN ...

I'm also against having four, yes four, vice-captains. Nothing against Keays, Fogarty, O'Brien and Neal-Bullen, the quartet operating beneath Dawson, but one would have been enough.

IF ..

the Lions were unable to find a big-name replacement for Joe Daniher for 2025 ...

THEN ...

my gut feel is they have already got one on the hook for 2026. Jamarra Ugle-Hagan is an interesting name.

IF ...

Tom De Koning gets an injury-free crack in 2025 ...

THEN ...

look out, rucking elite status could be within reach. Capable of an All-Australian jacket. 

IF ...

the Triple M forward line stays fit in 2025 ...

THEN ...

here we come, top four! Mihocek, McStay, Membrey. A tough, footy-smart mix of hard-working key forwards.

IF ...

Caddy & Kako sounds like a US TV law firm or property group ...

THEN ...

Bombers fans are desperately hoping it emerges as one of the more exciting forward combos in the game. 

IF ...

you were able to make sense of the Dockers' announcement this week highlighting the changes to the employment of Justin Longmuir ...

THEN ...

you may just be a genius. Here's a sample of that word dump: "Following a number of discussions with Justin, it was clear that those expectations we set ourselves is what drives our ambitions and standards, not the length of a contract." My translation: Longmuir won't be coaching the Dockers in 2026 unless he wins at least one final in 2025. And that's OK. It's his sixth year, and with this quality list, it is time to fire.

IF ...

there are eight All-Australians, a Brownlow, an AFLPA MVP and a coaches' player of the year gong already in the ownership of Paddy Dangerfield ...

THEN ...

get ready for a Cats' leading goalkicker trophy. Coach Chris Scott recently revealed Danger would follow the 1980s and 1990s paths of fellow midfield greats Leigh Matthews, Malcolm Blight and Gary Ablett and be used as a full-forward. Cannot wait to see how this looks.

IF ...

the Suns haven't gone near a final in 14 seasons of AFL life ...

THEN ...

they somehow keep talking the biggest of games. Not just off-field, either. They're chirpy on it, too. Just ask some Brisbane Lions premiership stars, who were bemused at some of what was being directed their way during a recent scratch match. One day they might convert the talk into meaningful on-field action. One day.

IF ...

Finn Callaghan, or as Jimmy Bartel affectionately calls him, the Rosie-Cheeked Assassin, has now got 50 matches to his name ...

THEN ...

in 2025 he could be poised to enter All-Australian conversations. Needs to kick more goals (just seven in his career to date). Has knocked back multiple massive offers from Victorian clubs to stay with the Giants.

IF ...

the Hawks embraced a Don't Stop Believin' and Livin' On A Prayer mindset last year all the way to a heartbreaking loss in a semi-final without having access to their best player in the finals series ...

THEN ...

their 2025 playlist may contain Beautiful Day, Sunny Day, One Perfect Day, Happy Days and Best Day Of My Life. Will Day has returned to full fitness. What a gun player. Brownlow chance.

IF ...

Clarry is the 2019-22 version of Clarry and if Trac's body is OK and his mind is not wandering about his personal brand wanting to be at another club and if Goody is at his very-sharp best and if national draft pick no.6 Harvey Langford gets himself into Rising Star status and if Maxxy defies his age and if Windsor takes another sizeable step and if Van Rooyen comes of age ...

THEN ...

that's only half the ifs hovering over this organisation. There is enough talent to return to the finals, but the toll of a long-troubled culture may be too heavy.

IF ...

this club is ever going to return to something resembling success ...

THEN ...

it cannot allow itself in 2025 to again be satisfied with "nice" losses. There have been just 15 wins in the past five seasons. Overdue time for Clarko to properly turn this joint around.

IF ...

there has been a lot of criticism of the off-season confirmation that, as of the end of 2025, Josh Carr will be taking over from Kenny as coach ...

THEN ...

not from me. I really liked it. It was clean, classy, and most importantly, respectful of Kenny. And it might just sharpen everyone up.

IF ...

this time last year Adem Yze was ordering the removal of premiership celebration photos at Punt Rd but still talking up a "no ceiling" 2024 season ...

THEN ...

12 months later he finds himself in charge of a team which will be GWS 2012-like. Bolton, Rioli, Baker, Graham all bolted on him. This is going to be one almightily tough season for the second-year coach.

IF ...

there was one player the Saints didn't want to be sent for knee surgery late in the pre-season ...

THEN ...

it was the one player who was, Max King. Just cannot catch a break. Will enter yet another season under an injury cloud.

IF ...

the world's leading experts in psychology, sociology, philosophy and neuroscience happened to convene in Sydney in 2025 ...

THEN ...

they'd have access to one of the most intriguing group-character studies in elite sport. Four Grand Final losses for the Swans in 11 years, two Grand Final maulings in three years. New coach for '25. It's almost an impossible way to view the future, but redemption may only come in reaching, and playing well, in a Grand Final. Can't wait to see who stands up right to the very end.

IF ...

the Eagles won't be appearing in the top eight of anyone's ladder predictor lists ...

THEN ...

pressure to perform will still be through the roof. At stake is convincing Chad Warner they are worthy of him joining them at season's end. Contextually speaking, the next best thing to a flag for the Eagles this year.

IF ...

it wasn't already a major problem ...

THEN ...

it's borderline crisis now. JUH, Jones, Weightman, Richards, Dale, Treloar, Johannisen were already on the unavailable list. On Thursday evening, the great Bont joined them, after feeling tightness in a calf in a practice match.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

you introduce a rule in 2019, as the AFL did with the 6-6-6 requirements ...

THEN ...

zero idea why, in 2025, infringing teams will still be given a "warning" before a free kick is paid against them.