IF
 		THEN
 
Adelaide
 		you’re a Crows fan ...you’re really happy that one of the ins for the Swans this weekend was K Tippett. Now, this could be very interesting.
Brisbane Lions
 		the Lions get a priority pick ...... it will be the biggest AFL Commission-endorsed joke since the Karmichael Hunt and Israel Folau signings.
Carlton
 		you’re sitting third last on the ladder but you really want access to the No.1 pick in the draft to ensure you end up with Jacob Weitering on your books ...... losing by 138 points last Friday and not winning again in 2015 will just about guarantee that outcome. But don’t mention tanking.
Collingwood
 		we copped some serious heat from Pies supporters after we expressed serious doubt about this club when the scoreline was 8-3 ...... it’s fair to say the Pies feedback has gone cold in recent weeks. Couldn’t possibly lose to the Demons this week, could they?
Essendon
 		Jobe Watson’s teammates were to be honest  ...... they too would rather be downing beers while watching Warner and Anderson at Edgbaston.
Fremantle
 		Nat Fyfe is missing this week because of complications to a corkie he copped back on July 12 ...... we know he’s not happy and that Sam Mitchell was very, very lucky.
Geelong
 		Stevie J is indeed told by the Cats that there’s no more games beyond 2015 ...... he should think hard about what happened to Chappy before he considers a future elsewhere himself.
Gold Coast
 		you’re Dion Prestia and the Demons are hunting you down ...... you’re going to want to see a whole lot more before you commit to joining them.
Greater Western Sydney

 		the Giants keep our man McCarthy out of the team for much longer ......those rumours of a trade to the Dockers will get louder. (And yes, we know he’s contracted.)
Hawthorn
 		you’re Jono O’Rourke and Angus Litherland ...... you’re scratching your head upon being dropped after being part of a 138-point win.
Melbourne
 		Paul Roos’ name was Paul Smith ...... he’d be under real pressure. But his name is Paul Roos and we’re going to back him in, right through to the end of his 2016 contract.
North Melbournethere’s one thing we won’t let go for the remainder of 2015 ...... it is this: Brent Harvey has done way more than enough to warrant a place on the 2016 list, and to not provide him with one would be a disgrace.
Port Adelaide
 		three ultimately game-winning last quarter goals for a match total of four from a certain player was described as “lucky” output by the opposition coach last weekend ...... we’re talking sour grapes.
Richmond
 		there’s a forgotten man as the Tigers’ form rises ...... it’s Steven Morris. Can’t crack a game now that Lambert, Miles, McIntosh and Lennon are emerging.
St Kilda
 		Sam Gilbert’s groin injury is serious ...he may well have played his last game for the Saints.
Sydney Swans
 		you’re still thinking of booing Adam Goodes next time you see him on a footy field ...... we ask, politely, that you ask yourself why. And that you give it serious thought, and that you don’t answer until you’ve slept on the question.
West Coast
 		you’re heading five hours across the country to play a depleted side sitting second last ......  we’d be thinking you’d leave a few sore stars at home. Such a thought is not in Adam Simpson’s make-up. For those who may not remember, he played a lot of footy under Denis Pagan.
Western BulldogsPeter Gordon had his time over again ...... would he have acted on vengeance and impulse to wrench Tom Boyd out of GWS on obscene money? Given the great story which has unfolded this year on the back of a low-paid coach and a bunch of previously unproven and much-doubted youngsters, we’re saying, "No".


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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian