STRAP yourselves in, footy fans - Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back in full swing for 2025.
With the 2025 Toyota AFL Premiership Season underway, Damo's got plenty of thoughts about all 18 clubs - and the AFL - after another big off-season.
So what is he saying about your team? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.
>> ALL THE LATEST NEWS AND OPINION FROM DAMIAN BARRETT
IF ...
the Crows haven't won at the MCG since 2017 ...
THEN ...
there will never be a better time to break that embarrassing stat than Saturday against the Bombers. Belting up a woeful St Kilda on the home deck to open another year of fresh promises means nothing. No excuses this weekend.
IF ..
one, and then two, Ashcrofts, a Kai, a Logan and a Darcy have been the youngsters grabbing the kudos and headlines in this club's beautiful surge to success ...
THEN ...
not sure why Jaspa seems to be either forgotten, or not given anywhere near enough love. Fletcher hasn't missed a game since a mid-2023 debut and was excellent in the 2024 Grand Final win.
IF ...
the performance against the Hawks on Thursday night was OK ...
THEN ...
it was still a mile short of anything resembling a top four team. And also short of a finals team. Just two goals after half-time, and none in the final quarter. Not abandoning hope. Yet.
IF ...
Jordy De Goey, fit for his first game of the year, plays permanently forward on Friday night against the exposed Bulldogs backline (no Jones or O’Donnell) ...
THEN ...
I’ve got him down for four goals.
IF ...
Stringer was sent packing in the off-season and now Langford has got himself injured again ...
THEN ...
that's a lot of Bombers' goalkicking power absent for Saturday's match against the Crows. That duo combined for 85 goals in 2024. Hard to see them kicking a winning score.
IF ...
Shai Bolton is in for his first game as a Docker ...
THEN ...
the Dockers should simply forget last week. Fremantle's season starts now. One of the biggest off-season recruits will surely transform this club. And the Swans don't have an obvious match-up.
IF ...
there is a Cats player ready to explode in 2025 ...
THEN ...
it's Shannon Neale. He may never reach the full heights of the guy he's replacing, Tom Hawkins, but he's poised to hold down a key forward role for a long time.
IF ...
the Suns are telling everyone they're on the right track after belting the Eagles in round one ...
THEN ...
they're certainly consistent with one facet of operations – talking. I'm not listening yet. Sure, it was impressive, but witches hats would occasionally provide more challenges than West Coast at the moment. Loved Matty Rowell's game. Hope it all clicks for him in 2024.
IF ...
the two games played in the 2025 season by GWS have proven anything ...
THEN ...
it is that Toby is back to his very, very, All Australian-captaincy status best.
IF ...
there are a few showmen, a couple of excitement machines and even a Wizard in this most watchable Hawks outfit ...
THEN ...
there is also an old-fashioned, no frills, ultra-reliable and ultra-effective player by the name of Cam Mackenzie. Pay attention to him the next time you watch a Hawks game. He’s very, very good.
IF ...
big Maxxy is still the best ruck in the game ...
THEN ...
on Sunday he will come up against an opponent who has desires on that title, in Tristan Xerri. He's fought off all challengers for nine seasons. No reason he can’t do it for a 10th.
IF ...
round one was yet another wasted opportunity to break the cycle of losing, with a so-predictable loss to the injury-ravaged Bulldogs ...
THEN ...
surely the opportunity presented in round two isn’t also missed. The Demons are as vulnerable as the Bulldogs were, and have again picked a bunch of unproven kids. Way too accepting of losses. It must end.
IF ...
Combative Kenny is here to stay ...
THEN ...
I'm all for it!! Loved the way he took middle and leg during the week, and then belted to the boundary every media question which came his way. He's always been competitive, Kenny. But in the early stages of his final year of coaching the Power, the Combative Kenny persona might be the dominant one.
IF ...
it was Mission Impossible last weekend ...
THEN ...
it’s Mission Impossible II on Saturday against Port Adelaide. Love how they’ve selected another first-gamer, Liam Fawcett. And the bookies are saying a win in the sequel wouldn’t be as far-fetched as the original.
IF ...
Max King, according to the Saints late last month, was "touch and go" to be recovered from a knee problem in time for round one ...
THEN ...
interesting to note, according to the Saints this week, a week after round one, that he's still "2-3 weeks" away. They're not on their own, the Saints, in economy of truth on injuries. But they're certainly consistent in being that way. Just one of many, many problems at this joint.
IF ...
the Swans are 0-2 and not where they want to be ...
THEN ...
there is consolation in the losses coming against probably the best two teams in the comp, Brisbane and Hawthorn. Swans were very competitive in both. I reckon they will beat the Dockers on Sunday.
IF ...
there were numerous debacles to emerge from the 87-point loss to the Suns last weekend ...
THEN ...
the damage inflicted on the already problematic body of All-Australian forward Jake Waterman may have been the biggest. His back and his calf, and now his back-related calf is a major worry for the Eagles.
IF ...
it's good enough for the Western Bulldogs to rename themselves Footscray for celebrations of 100 years in the VFL/AFL ...
THEN ...
it's good enough to make it permanent. Just do it. There's something special about that name and suburb.
AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL
IF ...
the AFL system says the Jackson Archer hit on Luke Cleary is worth a three-match ban ...
THEN ...
I don't agree with it. But I can live with it, provided that system stays consistent with future rulings. History says that will at least be open to debate.
