PORT Adelaide youngster Tom Cochrane spoke to AFL.com.au in February, revealing his Tourette's syndrome diagnosis and the daily challenges the condition has on his life. Ahead of his AFL debut on Thursday night against Essendon, get to know more about Cochrane and living with Tourette’s. Below is a republication of the interview from earlier this year.
TOM Cochrane remembers when he didn't have the answers.
When he was a kid and would make involuntary head movements from side to side but not know why. When he could feel himself trying to hold a word in but losing control, letting it out and wondering how. When the disorientation led to questions – from himself and others.
Now, the Port Adelaide first-year player knows exactly what was – and still is – going on. But the time before the young Power forward was diagnosed with Tourette's syndrome as a nine-year-old still stays with him as he lives with the condition, all the while chasing a dream to follow his dad, former Power and North Melbourne defender Stuart, as an AFL player.
"I've had it my whole life, but it wasn't as significant early on. When I was nine I started having vocal tics and screaming out words and was really confused," Cochrane tells AFL.com.au.
"It was really hard because I didn't know what it was. I was in year three and was always walking around doing tics and weird movements with my head. I didn't know what I was doing.
"I was at school once and an older student was saying I had Tourette's and I was like 'What's Tourette's?'. They filled me in on it and I realised that's probably what I had."
Medication has helped largely reduce Cochrane's uncontrollable moments from the neurological disorder, but he remembers school assemblies where he would let words out and see the crowd turn his way – "They'd be like 'What's going on with that guy?'" – and the bullying that came with his diagnosis, too.
"The first couple of years it was hard because I got a lot of stuff for it, people making fun of it and trying to bring me down. Once I got older everyone got used to it and acknowledged it and nobody really cares anymore," he says.
In his first fortnight at the Power after being selected as a rookie last year, Cochrane spoke to the Port Adelaide players about having Tourette's. He was warmly received for being so open, though he thinks they probably all knew by the time he had gotten to that point. Although it affects him every day, the footy field has become a sanctuary.
"That's probably the best thing about it – that I don't get it when I'm playing. It kind of goes away because I enjoy playing, and when I'm enjoying something, it goes away," he says.
Inside the clubrooms, though, can be different, with Cochrane often in a battle with his own body. Inactivity and boredom brings out his tics and meetings can be a challenge.
"Every tic I have is basically a swear word but I'm just not letting them out right now," he says with a smile during AFL.com.au's interview.
"I try to keep them in but they can come out and it still fazes me a bit. Because in some situations I really don't want to let it out, like when the coach is talking. I try to hold it in as best I can but sometimes it comes out anyway."
The 19-year-old's positivity and bright approach has won over those at Port, as it did when he was coming through the ranks at Central District, where his younger brother Dougie is hoping to play at league level this season and shapes as a strong contender for next year's No.1 draft pick.
The constant and repetitive nature of the disorder can be exhausting. As much as he has become accustomed to dealing with his condition, there are times where he wonders about the alternative, if he didn't have to worry about what his body would do next, or what word would come out of his mouth.
"I'm used to it now and I don't really care anymore, but sometimes I just wish that I didn't have it. I look around and sometimes I wonder what it would be like just living without Tourette's because it would be so much easier. But I have to deal with it now so it's all good," he says.
"I just want people to know that although it might be annoying sometimes, those who have it can't help it. Don't put shit on them for saying bad stuff - they're still a person. You have to treat them as a normal person and if they let a tic out, it doesn't matter. Let them be."
Cochrane doesn't need to look far for a role model in dealing with adversity. Stuart, who played 50 games with the Roos before three seasons and 54 games with the Power, has faced an ongoing battle with leukaemia in recent years. Cochrane has seen his dad fall extremely ill at stages and fight on, all while pushing both of his boys with their football pursuits.
"He's been really supportive and ever since he got cancer he has taken it on the chin and kept pushing," Cochrane says. "He could easily take a step back and take the load off but he has been pushing us. He's been the No.1 person to help us out with our footy."
Cochrane has started well at the Power, can produce some exciting moments inside 50 and is learning when to use his flair. He competes and kicks nicely and was one of Central District's best in its under-18 Grand Final loss last year. Getting drafted was his hope more than his expectation, but he is taking his shot.
"My manager rang me up and said 'you're going to be picked in the rookie draft' and I was buzzing. My dad must've known because he was giving me clues saying, 'What do you reckon your chances are? Do you reckon you're getting drafted?' and I'd say 'Oh nah, maybe a 10 per cent chance, I don't know'," he says.
"It's pretty cool. Ever since I was little I have dreamed of playing here and following dad."
And like Stuart, Cochrane has never let his diagnosis change his outlook. When he was nine, he made a pledge to his mum. It still stands.
"She was a bit down and wasn't feeling too good when I was diagnosed. But she always says to me that the first thing I said to her was, 'I want to be the first AFL player with Tourette's'," he says. "My mentality has always been to stay positive."