STRAP yourselves in, footy fans - Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back in full swing for 2025. 

With the 2025 Toyota AFL Premiership Season underway, Damo's got plenty of thoughts about all 18 clubs - and the AFL.

So what is he saying about your team? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> ALL THE LATEST NEWS AND OPINION FROM DAMIAN BARRETT

IF ...

the Crows are 0-2 from the past two matches ...

THEN ...

while I remain unconvinced of their top-four credentials, I'm not writing them off. Were very good against Gold Coast in round four, then got blown away late against the Cats, after a five-day break. A season-shaping match awaits, against GWS on Saturday.

IF ..

the no-Joe Daniher narrative and fears had been pushed into the background on the back of five straight wins to open the premiership defence ...

THEN ...

watch it explode into storylines and minds this week, after a dismal display at home against Collingwood on Thursday night. And now Logan Morris is in doubt for round seven. Morris' push of Darcy Moore into a marking contest, in my eyes, should result in a suspension.

IF ...

it's unfortunate for Sam Docherty that he's been axed for round six against North Melbourne ...

THEN ...

it's also the right call. Simply hasn't reached anything resembling good form in 2025.

IF ...

Nick Daicos extraordinarily and ridiculously had his professionalism questioned by Kane Cornes after Opening Round ...

THEN ...

he was as classy off field as he has always been on it when he refrained from saying publicly what he thought privately. The game's standout professional operator. And best on ground, yet again, on Thursday night. Hopefully in 2025 he gets the Brownlow he's already deserved.

IF ...

the Bombers' talent runs only so far ...

THEN ...

it's at least well organised, particularly defensively. Now that they've found a form of mojo with consecutive wins, against Port Adelaide and Melbourne, might get into a groove and worry some better-credentialled opponents.

IF ...

you look up "journeyman" in the dictionary ...

THEN ...

up pops a picture of Oscar McDonald. A debut for Melbourne in the second-last match of the 2015 season. Five matches for Carlton in 2021 and 2022. A season with Williamstown in the VFL in 2023. Back into the AFL for the Dockers in 2024, where he played in a round one win against eventual premier Brisbane, but damaged a knee. Not seen since. Back for Saturday's MCG match against the Demons. Love the journeyman stories.

IF ...

you're playing against the Cats and you focus on Holmes ...

THEN ...

good luck with Smith. And if you focus on Smith, good luck with Holmes. Holmes & Smith. Smith & Holmes. As lethal as that late 1980s movie duo, Tango & Cash.

IF ...

I've been a Suns doubter for 14 years ...

THEN ...

in year 15, I'm moving into believer status. Gold Coast may have been gifted a soft early 2025 season fixture by the AFL, but there's nothing soft any more about the way it is playing. Is there still a seat left on the bandwagon?

IF ...

there are at least 10, and possibly 15, teammates with a greater profile ...

THEN ...

Connor Idun may be inside the top eight for importance. Plays the percentages, and the team game, every time.

IF ...

you think it is night and Day when Will doesn't play ...

THEN ...

it is. Hawks have lost nine of 11 in the past three years when Will Day has been absent. 

IF ...

the axings of Fritsch and van Rooyen were the right calls ...

THEN ...

it also leaves the Demons looking abysmally weak on paper inside 50. Petracca may have to jag six if they are to be a chance against the Dockers.

IF ...

it's asking a lot of George Wardlaw, with just 26 matches and an unfortunate history of soft tissue injuries behind him, to be the Zak Butters of North Melbourne ...

THEN ...

that is exactly what this team needs him to be. Great to see him back for Good Friday. Bang, crash, never say die.

IF ...

Kenny and Zak were wound up like tops last Sunday night ...

THEN ...

the challenge for them and everyone else at Port is to approach every remaining game in the same manic state. If they do, they will cause some chaos.

IF ...

I don't believe the AFL should adopt the NRL's "no fault" stand down policy because of many pitfalls ...

THEN ...

I do believe the AFL and the Tigers should have implemented it with Noah Balta. Simply cannot believe he's been cleared to play, before being sentenced in a NSW court for serious assault. Yes, I know the initial AFL-backed Tigers ban aligned with the court hearing, which was subsequently pushed back a fortnight. But the goalposts changed on everything when Balta not just pleaded guilty, but was shown on CCTV to be acting in a highly disturbing way. I won't be listening for a very long time to any word this club dares to utter on any form of social messaging. Because only one thing matters – actions.

IF ...

you ever hear a football club tell you a surgery or medical procedure was "successful" ...

THEN ...

always, always, wait for actual confirmation. Back in February, the Saints said an arthroscope on Max King's knee "went well" and that he was on target for a round one appearance. Poor Max hasn't been seen since and had more surgery during the week. That too would've been 'successful". Return date anyone's guess.

IF ...

Justin McInerney is back after suspension ...

THEN ...

the Swans look better immediately. But the Power on Sunday won't be an easy opponent.

IF ...

I've read some bizarre club statements over the years ...

THEN ...

this one from Eagles general manager football Gavin Bell is right up there: "Oscar (Allen) has had a heavy workload and played more AFL minutes than any of our players, and we anticipated we would need to manage him in the near future. This week with back-to-back six-day breaks and following travel was the right time to give him a break to freshen up." What a mess.

IF ...

Josh Dunkley and Bailey Smith, and now Jamarra Ugle-Hagan, have had their own specific reasons to desperately get out of the Bulldogs ...

THEN ...

there's still a common denominator. The out-of-contract coach might be overseeing a premiership chance if they were still there. 

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

the AFL keeps leaving the Grand Final at the Saturday 2.30pm start time ...

THEN ...

I have no idea why. It makes zero sense. Not one other blockbuster on the AFL calendar is scheduled for that slot, nor requested by clubs. And as for the "fans association" wanting it to stay there, there would not be even one less fan watching a twilight or night game, and probably at least a million-plus more nationally tuning in.