IF
 
THEN
 
Adelaide
 
Brad Crouch exits ...... watch the pursuit of Rockliff ramp right up. The possibilities are real, regardless.
Brisbane Lions
 
as we said two weeks ago, Rocky won't commit to a future beyond this year, even when contracted ...... something's very wrong.
Carlton
 
this club's slide began a week after Marc Murphy went down ...... the footy industry should wake up and acknowledge the fact he is a far better player and captain than it thinks he is.
Collingwood
 
Talia allows Cloke to kick four goals for a second consecutive week ...... all bets will be off. The Pies will want to keep him. And opposition clubs will get very serious about wanting him for 2017.
Essendon
 
there's one guy we've really enjoyed watching this season ...... it is Anthony McDonald-Tipungwuti. Hope that no one ever tries to change how he plays.
Fremantle
 
you've come down in the last shower ...... you'll believe that Sandilands, having recovered from horrific rib problems, now isn't playing because of "leg soreness". Ross The Boss, if you can pull this one off for another seven weeks, you'll forever be our No.1 AFL identity. And as for Bennell and Johnson, and maybe Fyfe … too good.
Geelong
 
you select Clark after more than a year's absence last week and drop him this week ...... you don't intend playing him again. Makes zero sense to omit him after one game. Unless, of course, the other stuff is bigger than you say it is. Please explain. Properly.
Gold Coast
 
the Suns weren't burdened with the decision they made a little more than a year ago, and had the luxury of right now analysing a future with Ablett ...... we're tipping they wouldn't be seeking to commit to $1 million for both of the 2017 and 2018 seasons.
Greater Western Sydney

 
Marchbank, Steele, Hoskin-Elliott and Tomlinson are on the Giants' list next year ...... we'll be surprised.
Hawthorn
 
you win three matches by three points and another by five ...... everyone, please stop the talk about supposedly (maybe even factual) favourable umpiring, and realise that it is confirmation this club has ice in its veins. There is no better quality to have in the AFL. Burgoyne and Rioli clutch goals won this one.
Melbourne
 
we're expecting something this weekend ...... it is a big game from Tom McDonald. Was very good last week. Needs to back it up against Riewoldt, Membrey, Bruce.
North Melbournethis club doesn't win its next three (Port, Pies, Saints) ...... it is zero chance for top four, given what lies after that (Dogs, Hawks, Swans, Giants).
Port Adelaide
 
Hartlett, in his own words, was seeing "stars" ...... we will forever wonder how the Power medicos allowed him back onto the field inside five-and-a-half minutes. No matter what they or the AFL choose to tell us.
Richmond
 
Dusty wants to be a serious Brownlow chance ...... he needs a 40-disposal game against the Bombers this week.
St Kilda
 
you're not able to perform well this week against the Demons, and we're not even demanding a victory here ...... we're sorry, but we're saying your 2016 season is very questionable.
Sydney Swans
 
you keep losing matches you should win, and you need to add Thursday night (Hawks) to rounds 15 (Dogs) and eight (Tigers) ...... you're going to make things unnecessarily difficult, and potentially catastrophic, come ladder placement going into the finals. Only got yourselves to blame.
West Coast
 
the flat-trackers do as we expect on good decks in the next four weeks (Blues, Dees, Pies, Dockers) ...... they'll be beautifully placed upon round 21 entry. And yet we will still be just as unclear on credentials, because of what then lies ahead (Giants, Hawks, Crows).
Western Bulldogsthings go to plan from here as well as bookmakers' charts ......  there's at least five wins to come. Maybe six. Possibly seven. Come finals, top four is looking likely.
 And wait, there's more, as per constant reader request ... 
AFLyou choose to publicly release some info on a Friday night, as the AFL did last week on the problems with concussion ...... we know you're trying to hide something. Wonder what it will be tonight.


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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian