QUEENSLAND, we have a problem. Your AFL teams are lousy.

After a week in which verbal spars were traded up and down the M1 between Brisbane Lions icon Leigh Matthews and Gold Coast chairman Tony Cochrane, both teams turned in absolutely stinking performances within hours of each other on Saturday night. 

It is hard to say which performance was worse. The complete absence of any resilience or steel was on display once again by the Suns, although they were on the road against a pretty good Greater Western Sydney side. One, it must be said, they will be continue to be compared to forever and a day. The Suns have lost their last three games by a combined 295 points. 

But I'm going with the Lions. Collingwood was reeling heading up to Saturday night's clash at the Gabba, bereft of form and confidence. But what you knew in the lead-up with absolute certainty was that the Magpies would bring the heat in the first few minutes.

On that front, the Magpies didn't disappoint. But the Lions offered nothing in return. It was their first scoreless opening term since 1992 when they were known as the Brisbane Bears. They failed to score anything from nine inside 50's, while the Pies had 13 shots from their 20 entries. And the Pies smacked them 27-4 in contested possessions.

It was 4.9 (33) to 0.0 (0) at quarter-time. Imagine what the score might have been had the Pies kicked straight.

It was a big night for football in Brisbane. 24,000 came to the Gabba despite the attraction of an NRL double-header down the road and the Lions embarrassed themselves.

For at least this week the coaching spotlight will turn from Nathan Buckley to his one-time Bears teammate Justin Leppitsch. And rightfully so.

Tigers alive and kicking

Thanks to Sam Lloyd living the dream at the MCG on Saturday night, Richmond's 2016 season has been taken off life support.

Mind you, it remains in the intensive care unit and in need of plenty of assistance, but it's not like the Tigers haven't stormed home from three-wide before to land an unlikely finals berth.

Only two years, ago the Tigers made the finals with a last-gasp win over … yep, the Sydney Swans, to finish eighth, winning their last nine games on the trot to do so.

Tigers coach Damien Hardwick can also take heart from his great mate Alastair Clarkson, whose Hawks rebounded from a 1-6 start in 2010 to make the finals. 

Along with Lloyd's remarkable calm in arguably the biggest moment of his career, the so-called 'Bounce of God' that landed straight into Jack Riewoldt's hands also helped the Tigers. You've got to love that oval-shaped ball.

Don't the Tigers look so much better with Alex Rance back in their side? His battle with Lance Franklin was wonderful to watch. Franklin kicked five, but Rance had him shaded by the end.

Another key was Ben Griffiths kicking five goals and proving a handy foil for Riewoldt.

The trick for Griffiths is to reproduce that form on a regular enough basis to not leave Tiger types tearing their hair out in frustration. But with Trent Cotchin set to return this week, the Tigers will have all their big guns back for a fortnight of winnable games against Fremantle and Essendon. Win those, and things get interesting.

On the other side of the ledger, it was a very un-Sydney-like defeat. The experienced, star-studded Swans normally don't cough up five goals in eight minutes early in the final quarter to give up a comfortable lead. And they keep possession of the ball when they have it inside the final minute.

• Nine things we learned from round eight

Their structures broke down quickly, but the whole catastrophe would have been averted had Dean Towers widened his field of vision, looked to his right and kicked to Franklin standing by himself, rather than long to a contest. The Bud would have milked enough time to make it impossible for the Tigers to win the ball back and get themselves into position to win the game.

And there's not much time for the Swans to dwell on this. They return to the scene of the crime just six nights later to take on the Hawks, who will have noticed how Richmond's small forwards caused panic and concern in the Swans' back half in that final quarter. And in Cyril Rioli, Luke Breust and Paul Puopolo, they have three of the best.

Master teacher works his magic at Carlton

In an interview with the AFL Record this week ahead of his 250th game, Carlton defender Kade Simpson said of new coach Brendon Bolton that he feels like he has "gone back to school".

Indeed, if there is any lesson Bolton has imparted on the Blues after just eight games it is how to win. Sunday's stunning two-point win over Port Adelaide was their fourth straight and they've already won as many matches in 2016 as all of last season.

Given the premiership coach often doesn't win the Coach of the Year award, should we just save ourselves the trouble and give Bolton this year's trophy already?

Whichever way you come at it, this was a banner win by the Blues. They won without any meaningful contribution by Levi Casboult, the streaky key forward who nonetheless has emerged as his club's focal point.

They were considerably banged up by the end, with Matthew Kreuzer, Patrick Cripps and Ciaran Byrne all carrying injuries suffered during the match. Not that it stopped Kreuzer, whose mighty snap put Carlton in front for good with less than three minutes to go.

And that was the other notable aspect for the Blues. They trailed at every break and by three goals with less than 10 minutes to go, but they kept surging. Add belief, resolve and heart to the system and structure already in place and this has been a masterful turnaround by Carlton after just eight weeks.

• Around the state leagues: Who fired for your club?

More observations from round eight

1. Adelaide was 4-3 and a good 4-3 heading into Friday night's blockbuster against Geelong. A key reason behind the promising start to the season was the impressive drive off half-back from Rory Laird, Brodie Smith and Paul Seedsman. But Laird was injured in round six and the Cats put time into Smith and Seedsman and that was a key factor behind what was a very impressive win to the Cats. Smith had just six possessions, while Seedsman was down on confidence to the point where he missed an absolute sitter in the final term that would have put the Crows in front. Geelong rebounded to kick the steadier and was never going to lose after that. 

2. The Cats already had the scalps of Hawthorn and West Coast to their name in 2016, but there were mitigating factors to both of those wins, which made Friday night's win easily their best of the season. The Cats have just five road trips for the season and have three in the bank already. They're safely entrenched in the top two already and a look at their draw suggests they will remain there for the rest of the season.

3. Not sure what to make of Saturday's Essendon-North Melbourne clash. It really was the game of two halves, with the Kangas comfortably winning the first (keeping Essendon goalless) and the Bombers good enough in the second to earn a standing ovation from their supporters at the end of the game despite another loss. North is in a holding pattern for at least another week and really, the season gets fair-dinkum when they visit the Swans on Friday week.

4. It's not often that Jeff Kennett lurks quietly in the background with little to say, but there he was on Saturday afternoon as the Hawks celebrated their 50th game at Aurora Stadium with yet another win. Ian Dicker first got the Hawks to Tassie, but it was Kennett who was the architect of the Tassie deal that hands the Hawks oodles of cash and a clear home-ground advantage for four games each year. The Hawks are 39-11 in Launceston and have won their last 17 on the trot and with Gold Coast and Carlton still to visit, it will be 19 come the end of the year.

5. Fair debut from Jacob Hopper for the Giants. 32 possessions, 17 of them contested. He is already drawing comparisons to Patrick Dangerfield and with the Giants' recruiting entitlements very much the water-cooler discussion in footy, it should be noted that he hails from Leeton, in the heart of the contentious Riverina area. He won't be going anywhere any time soon.

WATCH: Hopper's eye-catching debut

6. The Western Bulldogs no doubt relish playing at Etihad Stadium, but even they were probably heartily sick of the place and keen to press their credentials at the MCG. That they did on Sunday with a 32-point win over Melbourne that was closer than it looked. The run and gun translated well on the bigger ground and they successfully negotiated a tricky opponent. Next week, in another first for 2016, the Dogs actually get on an airplane to meet the Giants at Spotless Stadium, which will absolutely be appointment viewing. The shame will be that Ryan Griffen and Tom Boyd will both likely be missing to add that extra bit of spice. 

7. Footy's number crunchers got a bit excited there for a period there on Sunday with two individual game records under threat. Tom Liberatore looked a sure thing to break the AFL's tackle record, but in the end had to settle for a 'measly' 19 tackles, equaling the records held by Jude Bolton and Jack Ziebell. Fred Fanning's venerable record of 18 goals in a match also looked under threat at quarter-time in Perth when Josh Kennedy had five goals against St Kilda. But the scoring dried up after quarter-time and in the end, Kennedy didn't end up with another major, while Mark LeCras, with a dribbler at the end, beat him to finish with six goals.