WELCOME to the house of fun, starring Giants Nick Haynes, Adam Kennedy and Jacob Hopper.
From an 'idiot tax', to horror food stories and scary pranks, the Greater Western Sydney trio have stories that will leave you in stitches.
Haynes and Kennedy have lived together for six years, with Matt Buntine and ex-Giant Tim Golds rolling through that house over the years.
Hopper is the newest member of the crew.
The three were driving home together after training and jumped on a call to break down exactly what goes on in their house.
Question: Nick, can you tell me about the time Adam tried to cook dinner for the group but went a little overboard on the salt?
Nick Haynes: I've got two cooking stories for Kenners. He was like 'my mum does this broccoli soup back at home and it's delicious'. It was the first time I'd seen him in the kitchen. As he's cooking, he'd check it and at first he was like 'nah it needs a bit more salt'. Five minutes later he'd check again – not salty enough. He did it again four or five more times before plating up.
When we were eating it, me, Matt Buntine and Tim Golds looked at each other thinking this is pure salt, but Kenners thought it was delicious. There was a joke around the house where we'd say we'll never cramp again after that much salt.
Q: What was the other terrible cooking story you've got?
NH: I'm gluten intolerant and Adam had a girl coming over so he said he'd cook for everyone. Firstly, gluten-free lasagne sheets are terrible as they are. He didn't put enough cheese sauce on the top layer. What's meant to happen is when you take it out of the oven, the cheese is melted but the sheets are still nice and moist.
When he pulled it out the top layer was that crunchy and burnt, you couldn't eat it. The poor girl had to endure that and we never saw her again.
Q: Adam, what was her reaction to the dish?
Adam Kennedy: To be honest I wish she just made a joke about it, but she was just trying to be polite and it made it even more awkward. I still stand by the broccoli soup though.
Q: Adam, apparently your room is very messy but you're clean around the house. What's the rationale there?
AK: A lot of people use the house, so I don't want to get in their way. The room, I get lazy sometimes, but I've been pulled over and had a reality check on a number of those things. But we've just had Jacob move into the house and he's making me look good now.
Q: What areas is he lacking in?
NH: Oh, everything.
AK: He is s**t. We want him out.
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Q: Of all the housemates that have rolled through over the years, who's contributed the least?
NH: I don't know actually.
Jacob Hopper: Don't say me.
NH: Yeah, it's definitely you, Jacob.
Q: Can you run me through what the 'idiot tax' is, what it covers and who is paying it?
NH: Jacob doesn't know about the idiot tax.
AK: I'm on that as well.
JH: Hang on what do you mean idiot tax? I don't know what this is. Is this about me?
NH: So I charge $300 a week, but I charge you (to Adam) $325.
AK: Is this for doing idiot stuff?
NH: It's for washing detergent, milk, toilet paper – I've put Jacob on that idiot tax as well.
AK: Except Jacob's paying $350.
AK: Can you (to Nick) just clarify if Jacob's paying $350 and I'm paying $325 that means he's double the idiot I am, right?
JH: Nah, you're an idiot.
Q: Jacob, what was your reaction to finding out about the double idiot tax, is it a shock to you?
JH: Nah it's fair, I was happy to pay more.
NH: They call me 'Dad' at home because I have to look after them.
JH: I've only been there for a week but can I just say, Lenny the dog is the stinkiest dog I've ever come across.
GIANT BATTLE 'His knees and ankles are sort of old and hanging on'
Q: Is it the fur or what smells?
JH: First of all, it bathes in its own poo.
NH: If you speak ill of my dog again, I'll slap you that hard.
JH: Nah Len's a good dog but geez it stinks.
Q: Adam I've heard you're big on practical jokes, what's the go with the snake and the mask pranks?
AK: It's something I'm extremely proud of. The snake hasn't worked as well, but I got Haynesy with the mask when he was out doing his washing one night. I don't go for a loud scare, I go for a quiet 'you're about to get killed' scare. He completely froze. If you want to go to war with someone, you don't choose Haynesy because he froze. He's done.
NH: I knew someone was there, I turned around because I felt someone there. When I saw the face of this mask of this creature and thought someone was actually about to kill me. I did freeze like a coward, that's confirmed.
Q: What does this mask look like?
AK: Yeah have you ever seen Jacob Hopper? A better-looking version of that. Nah, it's like a pale-faced man with some cuts on his face. It's very creepy.
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Q: Nick, I've been told you have a habit of grinding your teeth on your fork when you eat. Were you always aware of this?
NH: I was unaware of it for years. Similar to this conversation, we had a 'get it off your chest' session. After four years of living with each other, Kenners comes out and says that it's been pissing him off for years.
Q: Have you tried to improve on it when you eat around him?
NH: I completely forgot about it, but he reckons I've improved, so it's been a natural progression.
Q: Lastly, have you guys got any shows you all watch together?
AK: Heaps.
NH: We've got The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Love Island, Survivor, Married at First Sight, Wentworth and back in the day Geordie Shore.
AK: Hang on you've forgotten I'm A Celebrity … Get Me Out Of Here!. You've never seen someone who is as big of a fan of 'The Doc' and Julia. We're going to try and do a one-night show with Hayner, Julia and the Doc.
NH: Shut up.
AK: He thinks they're hilarious. You know how people are a bit off them sometimes? You need to see this bloke laugh at those two.
NH: I laughed once in the whole series. There was one funny part out of 100. It was funny though.
