Adelaide Crows

If

it's McGovern this year and in years past it has been Dangerfield, Davis, Vince, Gunston, Lever, Cameron and Tippett ...

then

something is very wrong.

Brisbane Lions

If

Beams is indeed staying ...

then

that's great news for the Lions. A genuine midfield gun over a long period of time. But it took him ages to publicly commit, and he only did so after the CEO cleverly went decisively public that he would be held to his contract. 

Carlton

If

we were regularly confused this year about some goings-on at the Blues ...

then

maybe the greatest source of confusion came in the minutes after a 104-point loss in the final game of a season which had reaped just two wins, when some supporters gave players a standing ovation. 

Collingwood

If

Mason Cox has been a breath of fresh air on the field this year ... 

then

he's been equally so off it with some witty, creative, cleverly cryptic work on social media. Love it.  

Essendon

If

the season from a team perspective was a complete waste – and yes, Woosha, it was ...

then

significant, profound individual consolation was gained via the five late-season matches played by Aaron Francis. Really liked what we saw.  

Fremantle

If

you've got Neale under contract for 2019 ...

then

it's really simple from here. You hold him to it. You've got enough 'relevance' problems without contemplating this genuine star's absence in 2019.   

Geelong Cats

If

you wade through the unlucky players to miss All Australian selection ...

then

No.1 on that list is Tomahawk.  

Gold Coast Suns

If

we've been saying it for six months ...

then

we may as well say it again. Everything about Steven May gives the impression he just doesn't want to be here. And Victorian clubs know it. His management has made that very clear. 

GWS Giants

If

Deledio is fit ...

then

he has to play against the Swans. There's no tomorrow for whatever lies ahead for the Giants in 2018. Only the now.   

Hawthorn

If

you've been without him as you've surged toward a finals double chance ...

then

having him back for a qualifying final against Richmond makes things very, very interesting. James Sicily. Born to play in September.  

Melbourne

If

we think we know a little bit about Goody ...

then

he won't be satisfied with 2018 unless he wins the premiership. Simply making the finals won't mean a thing to him if the Dees get blown away next Friday night.  

North Melbourne

If

22 matches came and went in 2018 without Braydon Preuss playing one of them ...

then

we get it, given Goldy held up all year in a courageous run at the finals. But, Preuss now knows that the Roos, deep down, don't rate him. And other clubs do.   

Port Adelaide

If

every club adopted Kochy's it-is-finals-or-it-is-a-fail attitude ...

then

the AFL competition would be a better place. That's the way it used to be, before never-ending rebuilds came into vogue.   

Richmond

If

you take a close look at the club tie Dusty wore to the Virgin Australia AFL All Australian dinner on Wednesday night ...

then

we're not sure he's dry-cleaned it since it was (possibly) wrapped round his head and in all sorts of other places on Grand Final night last year.    

St Kilda

If

our gut feel is right  ...

then

the St Kilda Football Club under an Andrew Bassat presidency is going to be a vibrant place. That's not criticism of Peter Summers, for he oversaw a difficult phase of the club's life, but Bassat isn't going to die wondering here.  

Sydney Swans

If

you thought the "kick it to me" line at the All Australian night was a throwaway one from Buddy ...

then

we don't think it was. That's genuinely how he rolls. And it's also why the Swans rejuvenated a sputtering season in round 20, when they, indeed, started to kick to him. Continuing to do so is their only hope of success this year.   

West Coast Eagles

If

Kennedy can get himself to, and then maintain, 80 per cent fitness for the duration of September ...

then

we see Eagles wins at Optus Stadium in qualifying and preliminary finals, and then a highly competitive outfit in a Grand Final.    

Western Bulldogs

If

Toby McLean can't make the AFL Players Association's Best 22 Under 22 team ...

then

that team is broken and needs to change its voting mechanisms if it wants to be taken seriously.  

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If

you didn't know the meaning of 'au pair' before this week ...

then

you probably do now.   

Twitter: @barrettdamian