WITH training for the relaunched AFL season in full swing, Sliding Doors is ramping up. 

So what's Damo saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? Check it out.

IF ...

the supreme talent of Brad Crouch is undisputed ...

THEN ...

it is, though, time for him to produce it consistently. Gold Coast won't need him anymore (Rowell, Anderson, Greenwood now in its midfield), so time to impress both his current home and the next bidder.

IF ...

the Lions have lost their past four (versus Tigers round 23 and qualifying final in 2019, GWS 2019 semi-final and Hawks round one 2020) ...

THEN ...

they need to win their next four. All at home, and with a full list, against Fremantle, West Coast, Adelaide and Port Adelaide.

IF ...

we've heard one thing too many times over too many years ... 

THEN ...

it is the noise from within the Blues that they’re guaranteed to improve. After a round one loss, wouldn’t want to lose to Melbourne on resumption from the COVID-19 shutdown, as the Cats at the Cattery are next up.

 

IF ...

he can drive through traffic on a footy field like a hot knife through butter ... 

THEN ...

no idea why or how Jordy has so many issues driving vehicles on actual roads.

IF ...

the Bombers kept saying last year that Heppell was doing no further damage to his foot by playing through obvious injury ...

THEN ...

I wasn't believing it then, and I'm certainly not now. Great to see him back by June 2020, though. And he personally willed his team into the finals last year.

IF ...

at the completion of round five the Dockers will have played all matches outside Perth, including a "home" game at Metricon Stadium ...

THEN ...

surely club officials are lobbying behind the scenes for a very favourable stretch of late season games at Optus Stadium.

IF ...

Jack Steven checks himself into hospital at 1am on a Sunday with a stab wound to the chest ...

THEN ...

he's fully within his rights to keep private the reasons for that, if those reasons don't compromise AFL integrity. But, he shouldn't be playing another game in the AFL until the AFL integrity department has fully investigated all aspects of the matter. Forget all the sideshows here. It is that simple.

IF ...

he's stolen the line from somewhere ...

THEN ...

Tony Cochrane is doing everything he can to own it. Seemingly not one interview goes by where he doesn’t say, "Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one." Still makes me laugh.

IF ...

seemingly all football people outside of those with GWS allegiances once had Toby Greene as Public Enemy No.1 ...

THEN ...

by the time he slides into an ice bath to do his bit for Neale Daniher's Fight MND cause his transformation will be just about complete. Love how he has carried himself through the past few years, particularly how he has stayed true to himself and yet still possesses a near-uncontrollable, wound-up volatility in any battle where teammates need support. 

IF ...

the Hawks were prepared this week to break an embargo that they had requested on a properly sourced story by a media outlet ...

THEN ...

the tip-toeing within that club around the control freak Clarko seems to have no bounds.

IF ...

Max Gawn ramped things right up and got Joey Scandizzo to tint some blue hair down the right side, green on the crown, purple on the left and peroxide-blond in the rat tails, and then got Jake King to provide some inkwork around his neck ...

THEN ...

good on him. Surely we in the media - hello Hutchy! – are, in 2020, way beyond having a problem with how anyone chooses to look.

IF ...

there was one hamstring story which dominated the news cycle this week ...

THEN ...

it wasn't Taylor Garner's latest one. Thought he was going to be an A-grade star, but the 2012 draftee has unfortunately managed just 43 matches, and will now miss another chunk of games with soft tissue damage.

IF ...

Robbie Gray has some of the game's surest hands on a footy field ...

THEN ...

you’re left shaking your head that he could break a toe after dropping a weight on it. Then again, former Australian rugby union star Jason Little once dislocated a shoulder while putting on a shirt on in his own home.

IF ...

the fixturing gods were ridiculously, maybe even unfairly, kind last year with seven consecutive MCG matches to close the 2019 home-and-away season ...

THEN ...

those fixturing gods are looking down favourably, again. Now get to play an "away" game against premiership rival West Coast … on the Gold Coast, in round five.

IF ...

the shortened quarters pose a potentially really big problem for a type of player ...

THEN ...

it is the rucks. Do teams take in two for a game, or go with one? Dilemma looming at the Saints with Marshall and Ryder.

IF ...

Buddy averaged 20.71 matches a season in his first 14 years (290 career matches at the completion of 2018) ...

THEN ...

his body clearly has cracked in the time since. Just 10 games last year, and will now miss at least half of 2020. His latest setback was an excitement-sapping jolt not just to the Swans, but the entire AFL system.

IF ...

the Eagles went public with a request for extra football department staff while dealing with the guaranteed obstacles of hub life on the Gold Coast ...

THEN ...

well played. As a result of the AFL officially allowing all clubs more people on their books, they'll get their wish, in a roundabout way.

IF ...

you actually take a deep breath and think about it ...

THEN ...

the next statue they build somewhere near EJ's in the Whitten Oval precinct could be Peter Gordon's. Saved the club 31 years ago, got it out of a massive mess five years ago, now positioning it to be bullet-proof from all attack, even COVID-19.

 

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

Steve Hocking has bought time on making a final decision on an aggressive push from the coaches for extra interchange players for the resumption of matches ...

THEN ...

I still can't see him changing his mind when that deadline comes – next Thursday, just seven days before the return match. And keeping status quo saves a lot of something that there's nearly nothing of anywhere, these days – money.