But that's the point.
In a book produced by the club and now available to buy, the two "Power Pirateers" wear Port's colours and discover a map outlining the basic rules of football.
The book is part of a membership pack aimed at two- to six-year-olds, but makes no mention of Port Adelaide, the AFL or any of the Power's players.
CEO Keith Thomas told AFL.com.au the program used "non-traditional mechanisms" to plant a Port Adelaide seed in the minds of youngsters.
He said the AFL had identified a gap in the market where families with young children often moved away from the game until their children were old enough to support a team.
It's a gap the Power hoped to fill.
"If you can make the experience of going to the footy a little easier and user-friendly and perhaps use non-traditional mechanisms to help parents introduce their kids to teams and clubs and players, maybe that's a way of keeping them closer," Thomas said.
"We'll bring it to life at the game, and we just think it's got great potential to open up a new market.
"The AFL are thinking a lot about it at the moment and they're very keen to support us and measure how this goes.
"It's all about market segmentation and actually designing ways for people to interact with the club that's appropriate to them; you can't have a 'one approach catches all' process."
Thomas believed the targeting of such a young demographic was unique in the AFL.
Jack and Daisy kick "cocoballs" on their island and are ultimately joined by five other pirates: Travis Boak, Brad Ebert, Chad Wingard, Justin Westhoff and Ollie Wines.
The players aren't named but if the numbers on their sleeves aren't enough to expose their real-life identities, the likesss is clear.
Thomas said the program's 'subtle' point to football was a tactic untried by other clubs.
"They're certainly not doing it this way and I think that's part of the problem," he said.
"We're bankrolling the whole thing, but what the AFL will do is look for ways to put some research behind it and try and get some factual data."
