| IF | THEN | |
| Adelaide | you've got three superstars all coming off contract at the end of next season... | …you'd want to lock at least one of them away really soon. Reckon they will, and that the other two will stay too. |
| Brisbane Lions | Leuenberger was expecting to just waltz back into the Lions’ number one ruck position... | ...he'll have to think again. Stefan Martin is emerging as one of the stories of the year. |
| Carlton | Jeff Garlett is at Carlton next year... | ...we are going to be gobsmacked. And as for Mitch. Please. Neither deserves to stay. The bigger question is: who will want them? |
| Collingwood | the Pies play with the same heart and will to win as last week for the remainder of the season... | ...they won't just be making up numbers in the eight. |
| Essendon | Jason Winderlich was a part of the Bombers' 22 in recent years... | …the Dons always looked better. Injuries have robbed him. One of the very good guys, too. |
| Fremantle | we've learnt one thing in recent years... | ...it is this: don't ever, ever, ever write off a Ross The Boss-coached team. Especially against the Cats at Simonds Stadium. |
| Geelong | Ross The Boss really wanted to send Crowley to the Cats' most potent match-winner of recent weeks... | ...it'll be Selwood, not Stevie J, as the man who's shadowed this week. |
| Gold Coast | the Suns want us to take them seriously this year... | ...they must win against the Blues on the road this week. Or, at the very least, lose with heads held high. Jury is out right now. |
| Greater Western Sydney | the Giants don't lose more than two "big name" players in this year's trade period... | ...they will be doing well. |
| Hawthorn | you threw a bus at the Hawks this year... | …they'd probably still get up. Clarko’s illness, Buddy's exit, Gibbo's pec, Cyril’s hammy, Lake’s choker hold, Mitchell and Sewell out, Garlett’s departure. Now, no Gunston. No fuss mob just gets the job done, regardless. |
| Melbourne | you were a Melbourne fan and had just got over the whole tanking saga... | ...you would have been surprised to see the chosen one re-open it this week. As bizarre as it gets, that one, Roosy. |
| North Melbourne | you’re reading this from Maribyrnong Secondary College... | ...please just hold off on the lunch-time speccies on Kayne Turner today. He's got a big day tomorrow. |
| Port Adelaide | Darren Burgess is even half as good as was being spruiked early in the season... | ...the Power will still do some damage in 2014. |
| Richmond | the Tigers win three, or even four, of their remaining games... | ...there may have never been a greater waste of an AFL season. |
| St Kilda | the Saints want to attract a big name to their club with pick No.1... | ...they had better soon find a viable selling point. It's not obvious there is one right now. |
| Sydney Swans | Lindsay Thomas copped it, deservedly, last week... | ...Adam Goodes may be on his second last, or last, chance. |
| West Coast | the Eagles have managed to convince Gaff to stay, and they have... | ...it is a great coup. While his form this year has been so-so, he is crucial to the future. |
| Western Bulldogs | ever a team needed to get busy, as in really, really busy in the trade/free agency period... | ...it’s the Dogs. Hello, key position players out there. |
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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian
