1: The power of tracksuits

IT IS a little-known fact that when Kofi Annan stood down as secretary-general of the United Nations an Australian was approached to become his successor. Sadly his television spruiking commitments were too demanding and he had to pass.

But fortunately the causes of world peace and cheap underwear have not proved mutually exclusive, and Robert DiPierdomenico has brought harmony and understanding to a troubled part of the world.

Dipper's efforts in bringing together Dimmey's and Forges have long been respected in diplomatic circles, so he was the obvious choice to coach the Peace Team – made up of young Israeli and Palestinian footballers – in next week's International Cup.

The secret to this rare example of harmony in the Middle East – understandably, given Dipper's close links with a seller of inexpensive garments – is tracksuits, as the great man explains. "It makes me feel proud that footy has been able to bring these boys together, Arab and Israelis, with tracksuits on and they're laughing." Funny trackies = world peace.

2: A ton of laughs

FEV RECKONS Buddy Franklin will kick the six goals he needs this weekend against West Coast to reach the ton. Fev also reckons that supporters should stream onto the field to congratulate the centurion, despite tut-tuts from the AFL, police and nightclub bouncers.

Here at The Four Points we vigorously oppose ground invasions, mainly because any attempt to try to scale the fence in our advanced state of physical decrepitude is sure to end in tears and torn pants.

But Fev, naturally, is all for it, and keen to receive the adulation of the football public – or at least that percentage of it able to avoid half-arsed tackling attempts by obese security guards – when and if he kicks his hundredth goal for the season.

And one of the adoring throng will be ... yep, Fev's dad. It really is genetic, you know.

3: Lies, damned lies, and statistics

SOMETIMES we get a headache from Friday Focus. Having failed cuisenaire rods at kindergarten we are largely baffled by anything numerical such as stastistics... stasistics ... facts and figures.

But after sitting in a quiet corner and looking very carefully at the computer screen we noted some intriguing Fs and Fs in this weeks' FF.

Such as: North has laid the fewest tackles in the AFL in the past six weeks, yet they are No. 1 for contested possessions in that time. How does that work? Huh? Still, it proves the worth of the Roos' radical tactic to keep Gazza Ablett quiet – remember Brady Rawlings telling the world that players had been asked to 'corral' rather than tackle the Cats star. Must have worked.

Yep, worked well. FF also notes that young Gaz has averaged 34 possessions, seven clearances, eight inside 50s, two goals and 19 marriage proposals in his past three outings against the Shinboners. FFS.

4: An Irish joke

NOT SATISFIED with dominating Australia, the greedy Cats are now set to scour the Emerald Isle for talent in a bid to extend their unbeaten run to 492 games by the end of the 2028 season.

Geelong has joined four other clubs in whacking a cool $30K in unmarked bills into an envelope addressed to Ricky O'Nixon, who has organised a training camp and Guinness appreciation festival next week in lovely County Mayo, the home of mayonnaise.

The poor Irish lads dragooned into appearing at the camp will face physical and psychological tests, and will also be required to talk to the recruiting types on the junk ... on the important research trip from Australia. Part of the psychological testing will be trying to understand why tracksuits are funny.

What to look for this Friday on afl.com.au

Fine, finer, finest

Having returned from Beijing crestfallen at his failure to qualify for the hula-hoop discipline of the rhythmic gymnastics, Jason 'More Than A' Phelan has knuckled down to produce a Footy Forecast.

What's the point?

Having returned from Beijing shackled to an Australian Federal policeman after being deported from China for claiming to be a very, very short point guard for the American basketball Dream Team, Dr Dream Team has knuckled down to answer your nerdy questions.

The game's the thing

Keep up to date with the clash between the Western Bulldogs XXII and the Essendon XVI right here on afl.com.au. You'll find everything you need, including a running ticker on the Bombers' injury count and a direct video feed from the casualty department of the Royal Melbourne Hospital.

The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL