WITH the AFL season in full swing, Sliding Doors is hitting its straps.

>> See more Sliding Doors here

So what's Damo saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? Check it out.

IF ...

Brad Crouch is a Crow in 2021 ...

THEN ...

I will be almightily surprised. Tried to get out last year, has been trying to get out this year.

IF ...

ever a team has needed a bye ...

THEN ...

it is this one. Fell in by two points against St Kilda last weekend, one point against North the previous match. Belted by the Tigers in round 10. Surely, its forwards are spending the break practising their goal kicking. Will ruin another fine season if they don’t learn to kick goals under pressure.

IF ...

you can remember the old days when the MCG used to host games ... 

THEN ...

a round 14 game involving a finals-bound Carlton against a finals-bound Collingwood would have attracted 80,000-plus spectators. Strangely, there's still as much intrigue in this one being played at the Gabba on Sunday.

 

IF ...

the Pies can hang in there, and beat at least one of Carlton or Brisbane (next Friday) ...

THEN ...

with De Goey back for games against Gold Coast and Port Adelaide, and maybe Howe back after that, don't write them off just yet.

IF ...

I allow myself to get carried away in the moment of big Joe's incredible comeback on Thursday night ...

THEN ...

I'm going to Perkins in the '96 Olympics, Agassi in the '99 French Open, Foreman in regaining a world heavyweight boxing title in '94, 21 years after his first. OK, even with the required dose of heavy perspective, big Joe's efforts against the Hawks will still forever be one of the AFL highlights of 2020. Loved it. More, please Joe.

IF ...

Dustin Fletcher was 40, Craig Bradley nearly 39, Brent Harvey 38, Michael Tuck 38 and Paul Salmon 37 when they played their final matches (Shaun Burgoyne is 37) ... 

THEN ...

David Mundy might be 42 when his time is up. Still as smooth and impactful as ever at 35.

IF ...

the Cats can keep winning without Joel ...

THEN ...

I wouldn't play him again until the second-last round. Just get him physically bullet-proof. The premiership is there for the taking if they do.

 

IF ...

the Suns don't beat North on Sunday night ...

THEN ...

the early gains of 2020 will mean nothing. The Roos haven't been trying too hard to win in recent weeks (and yes, I know got close against Brisbane in round 12).

IF ...

this club doesn’t beat the Dockers in Perth on Saturday afternoon ...

THEN ...

it may as well start its 2020 review on Saturday night. Yes, there have been injuries. But the worry for me is a distinct lack of urgency or dare.

IF ...

you hear Jeff Kennett in his capacity as Hawks president say something publicly ... 

THEN ...

don't always believe it. So often he's said one thing, and done the opposite. Of course, he wants another three years in charge now, having said all season he didn't. Clarko will be furious. One of 'em won’t be standing in three years' time.

IF ...

Alex Neal-Bullen knows the words to Moving Pictures' and Shannon Noll's 'What About Me' ... 

THEN ...

he may as well belt 'em out. After this week's inexplicable AFL softening on sling tackles, Neal-Bullen, who copped four weeks for a tackle on Will Hamill, is officially the unluckiest player of 2020. By a very long way.

IF ...

the Roos are to be fair to a person they chose to hunt and bring into their club ... 

THEN ...

Polec deserves to play. He made a decision to become a Roo, based on a hard and financial sell. He has upheld his end of the deal, he's no different to the player he was when the Roos recruited him.

IF ...

I've given big Charlie a whole lotta love this year ...

THEN ...

I'm still sending it his way. But Charlie, you've been quiet the past couple of weeks. The Swans without Rampe on Saturday might be the proverbial "easy kill" that seems so desperately needed.

IF ...

you're capable of having 11 players kick a goal in a 14-goal winning scoreline, as the Tigers did in a crushing win against the Eagles on Thursday night ... 

THEN ...

you're absolutely cruising. But Riewoldt's left-foot, across-body, set shot late in the match was the work of someone not fully in sync with "team".

IF ...

an 8-5 score line is a good one ...

THEN ...

it could easily have been 11-2. Three of the four losses have been by a goal or less (Brisbane last weekend by two points, Freo by six and North by two). And yet, reckon the Saints are vulnerable against the Dees on Saturday.

IF ...

 I held a lot of Swans players in lofty regard on entering 2020  ...

THEN ...

I'm a tad disappointed in some of them. They've all been OK, but I have expected more of Mills, Hayward, Blakey, Dawson, even Florent.

IF ...

the Eagles at Optus Stadium in 2020 have looked as comfortable as Brian Lara driving any bowler he ever faced on any deck through covers ... 

THEN ...

they have also looked like Daryll Cullinan against Shane Warne when they're playing in south-east Queensland. All four losses there, Thursday night's to the Tigers the equivalent of an eight-wicket Test Match loss in the final session of day four.

IF ...

the Dogs can play an explosive, great-to-watch style at times ... 

THEN ...

their impact on the comp is tempered by the fact that their seven wins, upon entry to round 14, have all been against teams outside the top eight, and that six of those wins have been against teams in the bottom eight.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

the AFL's match incidents system was able to send clear messages about sling tackles and staging between rounds three and 12 ...

THEN ...

normal transmission resumed in the past week. Mess and confusion, again, about what will, and won't be allowed. And another full-on breakdown between the Match Review Officer and the Tribunal. Time for the Tribunal to be ditched.