The column to read during Better Homes & Gardens
Ground upgrade required? It’s a marginal call
JUST one day to go before the return of a weekend tradition that’s all about suburban venues, sausage sizzles and awkward moments with opposition barrackers.
Yes, election day is upon us - the day when getting blind drunk on the dregs of democracy is not just a privilege, it’s a legally-enforced obligation.
Throughout this campaign politicians have been quick to rush to the aid of AFL clubs whose home grounds (excluding those in safe inner-city electorates like the MCG and Etihad Stadium) need a lick of paint, an upgrade to the gym or indeed a massive new grandstand.
Here are a few notable examples over the years of how politicians have cosied up to AFL clubs in the hope of attracting swinging voters:
1983: Overcome with emotion at the success of Australia II in the America’s Cup, a jubilant Bob Hawke promises the people of Fremantle a massive statue of a winged keel, a day off for all workers, and their own football team, replete with a club song that can only be sung after numerous glasses of Alan Bond’s Castlemaine Lager.
1987: Sir Joh Bjelke-Petersen drops by Carrara to promise the Brisbane Bears a couple of showers with hot water, a round of pumpkin scones at half time for all home games and police “protection” for all team visits to Brisbane.
2004: Passionate Western Bulldogs fan John Howard visits Whitten Oval during the September election to announce the complete reconstruction of Footscray.
2010: Tony Abbott’s Liberal Party pledges $36 million to upgrade Geelong’s Skilled Stadium in return for a few tips on winning important contests from Mark Thompson. The Labor party responds with a similar proposal signed by the party leader that funding is conditional on Barry Hall being left unmarked by the Cats throughout the finals series.
Tweets you didn’t see this week
- Lovett-Murray, Van Berlo and reinvigorated Buckley heading north as @GoldCoastFC target high profile Nathans across the league
- Mispronunciation of Trengove set to increase following second nomination for 2010 AFL #risingstar award
- RT @lionscheersquad Sorry guys, you’ll have to make a backup banner again this week for Browny’s 200th - just in case. MVoss
- Potential draftees to undergo highly technical James Manson kicking test at AFL National Draft Combine
- Cousins completes final press conference without notes or ringing endorsement from Bob Hawke
- #Brownlow details released by AFL. High tea with pinwheel sandwiches and scones at the Windsor Hotel to make for an intriguing afternoon.
Dream team smokies - Nathan Bock Michael Quinn
Forget the ball-magnets, goalkickers and lovers of the contested footy. Here are Dream Team superheroes you won’t hear the ‘experts’ talking about.
With the Bombers having placed the cue in the rack quicker than a stroppy snooker player, Quinny has been named in the 25 and may get the chance to suit up against the Lions this week.
The tee-totalling Irishman (fact!) did superbly to play six games for the Bombers last season just months after playing Australian football for the first time.
However, despite some fine performances for Bendigo this year, he’s played only the solitary game for Essendon gathering just 24 Dream Team points as the Bombers were thrashed by 84 points in Adelaide.
With crucial preliminary finals taking place in Dream Team land this weekend, don’t hesitate to leave perennial high flying defenders like Brendan Goddard or Luke Hodge on the pine this week, and trust The Mighty Quinn to be in your pack.
The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL.
