Some people write spreadsheets. Others design computer programs or watch reserves games or climb trees outside Kane Cornes’ bedroom to see how his shoulder is holding up (sorry about that, Kane).
I always thought that my league would have to be the keenest. After all, we have our own CFL Dream Team website. We have our own jumpers, songs, stats, histories, trophies (including a fictional NAB Cup) and even designed team shields that were the inspiration for those used in this year’s competition.
Sadly, however, we are not the keenest. There are leagues out there that are better than us – or worse, depending on how you look at it. The first, and perhaps most famous, is a group of punters who call themselves the Elite Dream Teamers.
The Elites
If you check out the highest ranked Dream Team leagues on the AFL website, you’ll notice that the top four all have the initials “EDT” in the title. These people are the crème de la crème of the Dream Team world; the Michael Jordans; the Tigers Woods; the Collingwood Football Club (well, before 1958).
So who the hell are these guys? I interviewed a coach called Bax to find out.
Bax is a member of the Elites and the coach of the illustrious Baxters, who finished second overall in 2008 but have been somewhat blighted by injury this year. He told me that the Elites are a mysterious collection of the best and most dedicated Dream Teamers among us.
For these coaches there is no such thing as an off-season. There is no such thing as a bye or a rest day or what most people call perspective. They live, eat and breathe the competition and will do anything to get an edge over each other or the population at large.
Elite Dream Teamers have been known to line the fences at under-18 games, prepare 50 page pre-season reports and, in one case, refuse to cut their child’s birthday cake until after Friday lock-out. Dream Team first, parenting second. That’s how these guys roll.
Masked men
The identities of Elite Dream Team coaches remain somewhat elusive. What is known is that they are a diverse group, include regular Joes as well as former AFL players, and are drawn from Australia and around the world. You think negotiating the 7.40pm Friday afternoon lock-out is tricky? Try doing it at 4.40am Texas time!
The overall attitude of this coaching group can best be summed up with a line from Bax himself - “You think you’ve got what it takes to beat the benchmark? Bring it!”
And the Mayors plan to. Right after we fix Kane’s shoulder and trade Jared Petrenko for a quart of milk and a bag of oatmeal.
This week’s question
I know that there are a lot of people out there who also go the extra yard to get an advantage in Dream Team. This week, I want you to complete this sentence – “I knew I’d gone overboard with Dream Team when…” and then send it to dreamteam@afl.com.au, making sure to put ‘Hindy’ in the subject line. I’ll run the best answers in next week’s column.
Thanks for all your responses to last week’s question “I knew God had personally set out to destroy my Dream Team when...?” Jeremy Spinks and Hamish Shirley both knew when God struck down his own son and put Gary Ablett Jnr out of their sides with a strained adductor. I feel your pain, guys.
Cheers,
Hindy
CEO and coach of the Hindsight Mayors
The views in this article are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL.
