| IF | THEN | |
| Adelaide | you were worried about being upstaged by the little brother – which we highlighted last week... | ...not many better ways to one-up his preliminary final appearance than by sacking your coach. |
| Brisbane Lions | this club keeps talking about doing things with lions and Ryder and Beams... | ...walking the walk at some stage wouldn't be a bad idea too. |
| Carlton | you’ve promised your supporters for two seasons that you’re going to play more games at the 'G... | ...this week’s announcement might have fallen a touch flat. |
| Collingwood | there's one aspect of its operations in which Collingwood is confident right now... | ...it is, despite all the talk, that Beams will stay. |
| Essendon | Ryder does indeed decide to activate the “clause” in his contract, and he again this week reiterated his intention to do just that... | ...the Bombers have to take it to the highest court possible. |
| Fremantle | you’re a Fremantle supporter... | ...you’d be almost willing to pay yourself for the club to hire a goalkicking coach. GF last year, semi this year. Bad kicking, bad football. |
| Geelong | North fans ever boo Joel Selwood again... | ...they should be ashamed of themselves. |
| Gold Coast | you've got a contract to coach in 2015 and your board this week tells you that you're under review... | ...you're in a touch of bother. |
| Greater Western Sydney | the Giants package up three young players, say Jaksch, O'Rourke and one other in the one transaction... | ...they're going to want a big name in return. Watch this space. |
| Hawthorn | the Hawks were playing the Swans this week... | ...Brad Sewell would've been playing. Fell victim to the Hawks match committee watching the Power run riot last week. |
| Melbourne | Melbourne hadn't received money from the AFL (after being fined)... | ...would they have Peter Jackson, Paul Roos and Simon Goodwin? Nope. Therefore, they've been compensated sufficiently and should not be given a compo draft pick. |
| North Melbourne | North somehow wins this week and Brent Harvey gets reported again... | ...he's kidding himself. |
| Port Adelaide | anyone outside of diehard Port fans claims to have foreseen the 2014 elevation of Robbie Gray into superstardom... | ...they would be lying. |
| Richmond | there's been a better dress-up at an AFL club's post-season celebrations than Jake King's role in Joel Selwood's skit this year... | ...it was only Matty Scarlett going with the Kevin Bartlett hairstyle six years ago. |
| St Kilda | your body is shot, you can hardly train and are on the wrong side of 30... | ...most see your career reaching an end. Riewoldt is an All-Australian and a B&F winner this year. |
| Sydney Swans | this indeed is Adam Goodes' last season and possibly even his last match this weekend... | ...can everyone - everyone!! - please realise we've been extremely fortunate to watch one of the truest champions in the history of the game. |
| West Coast | this week you're assessing the qualities of the two Perth teams and wondering which is better placed for a solid 2015... | ...it is tempting to make a case for the Eagles. |
| Western Bulldogs | the Crows and the Suns have acted this week when made aware of significant player unrest against the coach... | ...the Bulldogs will be thinking about doing the same. |
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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian
