IF | THEN | |
Adelaide | there’s a muscle more important than any other in the competition right now... | … it’s Tex Walker’s right hamstring. |
Brisbane Lions | Daniel Merrett doesn't get down on his knees and pray thanks to the Match Review Panel for its leniency every night for the next 10... | ...he should. |
Carlton | Jeff Garlett is on the Blues' list next year... | ... we'll be very surprised. |
Collingwood | Taylor Adams doesn't get down on his knees and pray thanks to the Match Review Panel for its leniency every night for the next 10... | ...he should. |
Essendon | Bellchambers and Ryder are nearly both right to go... | … is it a given that they both play? Going more than well without them right now, the Bombers. |
Fremantle | you can bank on one thing this weekend.. | ...it will be the Dockers returning to what we have come to expect of a Ross Lyon-coached team. |
Geelong | you're late on the uptake... | ...take this in: Cam Guthrie is a gun. And the good judges were onto him in 2012. |
Gold Coast | Karmichael Hunt is playing in the AFL next year... | ...we are going to be gobsmacked. |
Greater Western Sydney | there is a better "angry" player than Shane Mumford... | ...well, there isn't. Just love the aggression. |
Hawthorn | Hawthorn was sensible… | … it would nurse its senior players with niggles through the start of the season. Oh, hang on. |
Melbourne | Paul Roos' hair isn't grey by round six... | ...he's had a rinse. |
North Melbourne | Scott Thompson gets much better... | ...we won't be far off comparing him with the great backmen of the game. Seriously. |
Port Adelaide | we think we know what makes Port Adelaide tick... | ...last week's loss to the Roos will ensure things are going to be very ugly for the Brisbane Lions this week. |
Richmond | Jack Riewoldt had a sense of theatre, and we think he does... | ...he'll kick eight against the Pies. |
St Kilda | you have a base in Seaford and a sort-of base in Moorabbin and are now wanting to have another base at Junction Oval... | ...please sort your stuff out once and for all. It's laughable. |
Sydney Swans | the Swans want us to believe everything is OK again... | ...we'll need more proof than a win against the battling Crows. |
West Coast | you are asked to rank the Eagles' best players since national competition entry... | ...is Dean Cox in the top five? Without doubt. |
Western Bulldogs | there is going to be a better use of old-fashioned footy nous than what Gia displayed in milking that last quarter free kick last week... | ...well, there just won't be. |
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