WITH the 2022 Toyota AFL Premiership season up and running, naturally, Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is also up and about. 

So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.

So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> CLICK HERE TO READ MORE BARRETT 

IF ...

Riley Thilthorpe's absence between round one and 10 was a mystery ...

THEN ...

at least he's been given a relatively sustained crack since. The club just needs to play him now, all the way through to round 23.

IF ..

Joe Daniher started the 2022 season very nicely ...

THEN ...

the shoulder injury sustained in round seven has clearly significantly set him back. Having nowhere near the impact since. 19 goals from six games to start the year, seven from five after returning.

IF ...

Will Hayes was Patty Cripps ...

THEN ...

the Blues would have headed to the Tribunal over the two-week ban issued by the Match Review Officer for his dangerous tackle on Sam Menegola. But he's not, so he will miss two weeks without even challenging, in my eyes, that controversial ruling.

IF ...

Jack Ginnivan was a relative unknown upon entering the 10th match of his career in round six this year ...

THEN ...

he emerged from it with the Anzac Medal and his life forever changed. Return 2022 match against the Bombers on Sunday, and seemingly as always these days, Ginnivan a major focus, this time for the AFL's crackdown on adjudications of head high tackles. 

IF ...

it sounds harsh ...

THEN ...

so be it. As good as the four wins (Suns, Lions, Swans, Saints) from the past five weeks have been, to me they are fake wins, coming only after the point of no return on another disappointing season.

IF ...

there are 18 clubs interested in having Angus Brayshaw on their books from 2023 ...

THEN ...

the Dockers are on the shortlist of those with most intent. The double Demon Jackson-Brayshaw play is on.

IF ...

the Cats' absolute best form of 2022 has come in the past three weeks, with wins against North Melbourne (112 points), Melbourne (28) and Carlton (30) ...

THEN ...

they will be just about unbeatable when they get back after one more match of suspension arguably the competition’s best defender, Tom Stewart. 

IF ...

I was greatly disappointed in the Suns' lethargic 48-point loss to Essendon last week ...

THEN ...

one way to change that outlook: beat the Lions at the Gabba on Saturday night. Seriously doubt they're up to it, though.

IF ...

the Giants are indeed "managing" Hogan and Green out of their already-battling line-up for Sunday's match against Carlton ...

THEN ...

I have no idea why. They're obviously not the only club to use the word "managed" as a reason for omission, but its widespread use needs to be reined in.

IF ...

until three matches ago Mitch Lewis had been on a 25-game streak of kicking at least one goal every time he played ...

THEN ...

something unusual happened against GWS in round 16. No goals in that hitout, and none again in round 18. Will be keen to cash in against the Roos in Hobart on Saturday.

IF ...

the Dees defeat the Dogs on Saturday night ...

THEN ...

will they dust off a rendition of Freed From Desire? Or is that soooooo 2021? Either way, there is still bad blood.

IF ...

the Roos are to make it consecutive wins ...

THEN ...

full-forward Nick Larkey's foot needs to get him through Saturday's match against Hawthorn. Subbed out in last week's victory against Richmond with injury. Arguably the Roos' most important player.

IF ...

I keep thinking Port is playing a last-chance game ...

THEN ...

one day due to its 0-5 start it actually will be. But finals chances just won't die, even after recent losses. Geelong on Saturday might be the end.

IF ...

Dimma actually took a proper look at the way big Nank plays ...

THEN ...

he wouldn't be sooking it up to the AFL about a perceived bias in free kicks paid against his ruckman. He's also probably privately whinging, again, about having to play another game at Marvel Stadium, on Friday night against Fremantle.

IF ...

the coach is saying that "some players will be on their last chance" ...

THEN ...

there is nowhere to go after that. Careers, not just a season, clearly on the line against the Eagles in Perth on Sunday.

IF ...

I've already got Chad Warner down for a Brownlow from 2023 onwards ...

THEN ...

I'm now formally launching the campaign to get him an All-Australian jacket this season. The most watchable player in the comp. Can only imagine what he's doing by the time he's got 100 games behind him.

IF ...

Tom Barrass dragged in 18 marks and tallied 30 disposals against the Hawks last week ...

THEN ...

that's some sort of performance, acknowledged with a maximum 10 votes from the two coaches. Needs to reproduce something like that against Max King on Sunday.

IF ...

I agreed with Bevo that rules, as a rule, shouldn't be amended on the run ...

THEN ...

I also factor into his observations this week about head-high tackling the fact he coaches the 2021 version of Ginnivan, Cody Weightman, and a few other Dogs who are handy at drawing high-tackle frees. There's always a vested interest when coaches sook it up.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

the AFL is truly serious about jazzing up the Grand Final parade by sending players down the Yarra River ...

THEN ...

they need to get the coaches to jump off a ramp, Moomba Birdman Rally-style.