WITH the 2022 Toyota AFL Premiership season up and running, naturally, Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is also up and about.
So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.
So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.
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IF ...
Matt Crouch hasn’t been anywhere near his 2017 best and fairest form ...
THEN ...
he’s still better than at least a dozen, maybe 15, Crows getting a game ahead of him in this latest bad season. This is very, very ugly now. Untenable.
IF ..
there are some concerns about the form of big forwards Hipwood and McStay ...
THEN ...
weirdly it's almost a positive. Scoring isn't a problem. The Lions have kicked 100 points more than any other team after 18 matches. They have a must-win game on Sunday, though, against Richmond. While they keep saying publicly that there is no mental baggage with MCG matches (0-10 since 2014), there is. And there is only one way to stop everyone talking about it.
IF ...
Marc Pittonet is back after injury for the first time since round six ...
THEN ...
I'm really keen to see how Tom De Koning goes with some extra forward line time alongside Charlie Curnow and Harry McKay. Good luck on Saturday night, Crows, with the incoming long bombs.
IF ...
the McGovern-Vardy-Ryan-Sheed final moments play out of the backline in the 2018 Grand Final at the MCG will never be forgotten by Magpies fans ...
THEN ...
as of last Sunday at least they will always remember their own club's magic in a City end to Punt Rd end MCG sequence. Pendlebury-Moore-Bianco-Elliott. An all-time clutch play by all involved.
IF ...
Dyson Heppell doesn't get an improved offer from the Bombers to play in 2023 ...
THEN ...
he will be elsewhere.
IF ...
Sean Darcy has a sense of theatre aligned with his very obvious elite football talents ...
THEN ...
he will take the lead role under this round’s very bright Friday night lights in Perth, and steal the lines of five-time All-Australian Maxxy Gawn as well as his expected teammate-to-be Luke Jackson.
IF ...
big Jon Ceglar gets to play his first game for Geelong in a game where Rhys Stanley (knee) is unavailable ...
THEN ...
that is coincidence only. The Cats have long planned to give him a crack, feel he will add an extra rucking dimension.
IF ...
Mac Andrew has had a boom on him since being speculated as a high-end draft pick last year ...
THEN ...
great to see the No.5 overall selection in that draft getting a debut in round 20.
IF ...
it was a surprise to see Hogan and Green "rested" last week against Carlton ...
THEN ...
maybe, just maybe, the Giants were setting themselves for this weekend, against their hated crosstown rival. Both are back for the Sydney Derby. So too Kelly, Whitfield and Perryman. Giants upset Swans in an elimination final last year, will be keen to rock them again on Saturday.
IF ...
Hawthorn has made the most of an "easy" past three weekends (Roos, Eagles, Crows – last, second last , third last on the ladder) ...
THEN ...
it's nevertheless been an impressive stretch of form. And the ultra-exciting Changkuoth Jiath back for Saturday's game against the battling Saints. Let’s see how far the Hawks have come in 2022.
IF ...
the Andrew version of the 2022 AFL Brayshaw has generated the most headlines and may be on the way to the Brownlow ...
THEN ...
the Angus one has still put together a very nice season himself. And he's already a Brownlow place-getter. Now committed to the Demons until the end of 2028. Looking forward to the Brayshaw-off under the Friday night lights.
IF ...
the coaching job is Clarko's if he wants it ...
THEN ...
those next in line fully understand that situation. But Ross The Boss is ready.
IF ...
the 2022 season has already produced a heap of "wow" moments ...
THEN ...
there's potential for the Power to add to that list. To borrow a US sports phrase, they're capable of winning out – Collingwood on Saturday, followed by Richmond, Essendon, Adelaide. And wouldn't that make things interesting in September.
IF ...
Shane Edwards arrived at Punt Rd as a tiny 65kg teenager ...
THEN ...
whenever he exits it will be as a Richmond giant. Bartlett, Dyer, Bourke, Riewoldt, and as of Sunday, Edwards. Tigers to reach 300 matches. And ask anyone who has had anything to do with him – one of the great people.
IF ...
Dan Hannebery's time as a Saint hasn't worked out (15 matches in four seasons) ...
THEN ...
while it is getting very late, the shot clock is not yet expired. Back for round 20. Saints' finals hopes still in their own control. And Hannebery has always been a big-game player.
IF ...
Josh Daicos last weekend threw down the challenge to all small goalkickers with a goal for the ages ...
THEN ...
Tom Papley will no doubt accept it. Missed the first six matches of 2022, yet is putting together a season at least the equal to his 2021 All-Australian efforts.
IF ...
Clarko says no to the Roos and Ross The Boss doesn't work out and Don Pyke won't leave Sydney ...
THEN ...
Simmo will, definitely, receive yet another official call from a North Melbourne official, again asking if he wants to coach the team at which he won two flags as a player.
IF ...
Jack Silvagni's axing from the Carlton team was the biggest move of all round 20 teams ...
THEN ...
Alex Keath's omission from a Dogs team to play against Jeremy Cameron and Tom Hawkins was the second biggest surprise. Never afraid to make a tough call, Bevo.
AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL
IF ...
in April Gill announced he would be exiting the AFL's CEO post ...
THEN ...
the actual departure date was meant to be soon after the Grand Final. But with a power of work still required on the Tasmanian licence, CBAs, TV deals, club funding models and Marvel Stadium redevelopment, it looks as though he will be around for longer than planned.