WITH the 2022 Toyota AFL Premiership season racing to its conclusion, Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is really starting to crank up.
So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.
So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.
>> CLICK HERE TO READ MORE BARRETT
IF ...
in the days leading into a Showdown the reigning Brownlow medallist says you have a "sense of entitlement" and the crosstown teammate and captain refers to you being "arrogant and entitled" ...
THEN ...
Saturday night at Adelaide Oval cannot come quickly enough. Excitement levels for this one have now reached, possibly exceeded, Sunday's Blues-Pies extravaganza at the 'G.
'I DON'T LIKE THEIR CLUB' Power defender's Showdown putdown
IF ..
Lachie Neale copped some old-fashioned tagging treatment from Marcus Windhager last Friday night ...
THEN ...
he'll be copping plenty more this Friday night from James Harmes. Has quite possibly, though, already done enough to win a second Brownlow Medal in three seasons.
IF ...
you're familiar with the phrase "last roll of the dice" ...
THEN ...
that's the Blues for Sunday's massive game against Collingwood. Hewett was thought to be gone for the year, he's back. Williams, not seen since round nine. Also back. I like it. Nothing to lose from here.
IF ...
you're a diehard Pies supporter ...
THEN ...
you'll be fearful of how Sunday plays out. Carlton at the MCG. Massive stakes. Win - finals double chance. Lose – elimination final, probably against Richmond. This obviously isn't a final, but it is as big as a final. Those diehard Pies don't need reminding of the results of the Grand Finals in 1981, 1979, 1970.
IF ...
Clarko says no ...
THEN ...
the Essendon world won't end. But several board members, maybe all of them, would need to stand down.
'IT'S QUITE EMBARRASSING' Clarko wants to end intrigue soon
IF ...
the finals double chance is still in play ...
THEN ...
getting Fyfe back for an expected win against GWS at Manuka on Saturday is huge. But losing Lobb for the same game is very big.
IF ...
big Esava had been forgotten, having not been seen in an AFL match since round three ...
THEN ...
hello! Stanley's injury opens the door, chosen ahead of Ceglar. And no Nic Nat to contend with on Saturday at GMHBA Stadium. An unexpected opening to vie for a finals berth.
IF ...
the Suns don't beat last-placed North Melbourne at Marvel Stadium on Saturday ...
THEN ...
they won't even equal their best win-result in an AFL season (10 wins, 2014). I'm nowhere near as sold as others on the progress of this club.
IF ...
Tim Taranto has been recalled from injury ...
THEN ...
it may be his last of 114 as a Giant. Seemingly headed to Victoria after this, Pies still ultra keen, Tigers also going hard.
IF ...
Emerson Jeka and James Blanck, understandably given their lack of high-end experience, had little idea against Tom Lynch last week ...
THEN ...
this week's tasks won't be much easier. Aaron Naughton is always a difficult opponent. Jamarra Ugle-Hagan is getting better by the week, Josh Bruce back in the team.
IF ...
a premiership team from one season has never again fully taken the field in an official game thereafter ...
THEN ...
it's incredible that Melbourne was last week represented by 21 of its premiership 23, 21 matches after its flag success. The two "outsiders", Melksham and Hunt, were crucial in a massive win against Carlton. And the two who, upon round 23 selection, now on the "outer" - Jake Bowey and James Jordon - have been listed among the emergencies for Friday night's match against Brisbane. Forward Tom McDonald is also missing through injury.
IF ...
Clarko says no ...
THEN ...
the North Melbourne world won't end, and might even be a semi-blessing. A "no" certainly wouldn't be due to any flaw in the Roos' 'Get Clarko' project. New chair Sonja Hood made the perfect pitch regardless of outcome, her decision to deal exclusively with him giving the club the only chance it had.
IF ...
Melbourne's Ed Langdon was the 2022 clubhouse leader for Most Provocative Comment Maker leading into a game (the Pies were supposedly all duck and no dinner, as well as being one-trick ponies) ...
THEN ...
we have a new clubhouse leader. Ollie Wines just signing his scorecard as we speak. I absolutely loved his "sense of entitlement" line against the Crows.
IF ...
Tom Lynch has already played a very fine 210 matches for two clubs over 12 seasons, where he has won two best and fairests and earned an All-Australian jacket ...
THEN ...
I'm still going to mount the case: he has never played better than 2022. Has missed a chunk of footy with injury, so his All-Australian case has been jeopardised, but in the times he has played, has been regularly supreme.
IF ...
you were one of the many who were so predictably quick to bag the appointment of David Noble as a key member of a panel empowered to review the Saints' football department ...
THEN ...
stop it. A very good choice. Sure, his time as an AFL coach simply did not work. But 20 years prior to that, there were very few more effective high-end football department administrators.
IF ...
the Swans are only 75 per cent as brilliant as I believe them to be in 2022 ...
THEN ...
they will head to Marvel Stadium on Sunday and destroy St Kilda. Grand Final v Cats here we come.
IF ...
the Eagles, both the US rock band and the AFL club, both used to Take It To The Limit and live Life In The Fast Lane ...
THEN ...
they certainly don’t now. At least the old music still sounds fantastic. But the current release of the footy club is very Desperado.
IF ...
Bont has been operating at no more than 50 per cent capacity due to injuries and illness at times in 2022 ...
THEN ...
I'd still take half-Bont over nearly every other AFL player. He's still, just, got Chad Warner covered as my No.1. Bont might even tell us one day what he's endured this year, but then again, he probably won't, given he has never sought excuses.
AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL
IF ...
the AFL Coaches' Association hadn't, after the events of this week right up to the time of publication, felt the need to publicly condemn the Essendon Football Club board's treatment of Ben Rutten ...
THEN ...
it will never feel the need to make a meaningful public statement against a club's board. At least some individual coaches had the courage to do so.