WITH the 2022 Toyota AFL Premiership season racing to its conclusion, Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is really starting to crank up.
So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.
So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.
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IF ...
Izak Rankine will be receiving a whole lot more money than his exposed form would warrant ...
THEN ...
so be it. Sometimes you just have to cop the financial hit to get the deal done. Rankine, Rachele, McAdam, Fogarty, Thilthorpe, Walker. That's a very exciting, on paper at least, 2023 forward line.
IF ..
the Lions are to regroup and re-establish themselves as a flag hope ...
THEN ...
Joe Daniher simply must stand up next Thursday night at the Gabba against Richmond. These are the times the big recruits on the big money need to stand up.
>> LIONS v TIGERS Get your finals tickets NOW
IF ...
back in 1996 Terry Wallace famously said, "I'll spew up" if any of his Bulldogs players accepted a congratulatory pat on the back after a final-round loss ...
THEN ...
Michael Voss surely had the same sentiment after disastrous last-minute losses to top-four teams in the final two matches. I don't care for anyone else's take on the Blues in 2022. Losing the last four matches and missing finals, after an 8-2 start, was a monumental fail.
IF ...
Robbie Gray was THE clutch AFL player of the past 10 years ...
THEN ...
now that he's gone, there's a ready-made replacement. Jamie Elliott. What he has done twice this season – against Essendon after the final siren in round 19 and with a hanger-then-goal and another goal minutes later last Sunday against Carlton – is legendary stuff.
IF ...
David Barham's blow-the-Bombers-up campaign ultimately lands Ross Lyon as coach ...
THEN ...
that may be the only way to partially justify his rampaging, ruthless, and to this stage rudderless riot through his boardroom and administration staff.
IF ...
there's a dual Brownlow medallist everyone seems to have written off as the Dockers enter the finals ...
THEN ...
stop it. Nat Fyfe will be as important as any Docker in Saturday week's elimination final against the Dogs.
IF ...
there's a Brownlow medallist who may be past his absolute best ...
THEN ...
Paddy Dangerfield even at 75 per cent is going to still be crucial to the Cats' flag push.
IF ...
Touk Miller made the All-Australian team in 2021, backed it up this year, and added the 2022 AFL Coaches Association title (shared with Clayton Oliver) to his CV ...
THEN ...
no reason now that he won't follow Gary Ablett as a Brownlow Medal-winning Sun.
IF ...
Sam Taylor can earn an All-Australian jacket playing for a team which could manage just six wins ...
THEN ...
imagine what he will do when Adam Kingsley takes the Giants back up the ladder.
IF ...
I was Sam Mitchell ...
THEN ...
I'd be doing everything to ensure Jack Gunston stays. Too important to lose. A lot of good footy left.
IF ...
the most famous broken thumb in football was previously thought to belong to Darren Millane via his heroics in the 1990 finals series ...
THEN ...
Clayton Oliver is mounting a strong case for ownership of that title. Extraordinary that he missed just one game after having his thumb smashed in round 17, even more extraordinary that he has played in intense pain since and yet still was able to retain his 2021 status as the AFL Coaches Association’s best player of 2022 (shared with Touk Miller).
>> DEMONS v SWANS Get your finals tickets NOW
IF ...
anyone needed reminding that Clarko only knows one way – his way ...
THEN ...
it came in the form of the dismissal of the Roos' footy operations boss and an assistant coach on Thursday. Brace for more change, absolutely everywhere, then buckle up for the trade and draft period.
IF ...
the 2022 season was doomed after the 0-5 start ...
THEN ...
there were still some major positives, Connor Rozee's All-Australian selection the main one. No reason this club can't rebound hard in 2023.
IF ...
there's a Brownlow medallist who has only played eight of the past 26 Tigers matches and has been banged up with very serious kidney damage and hamstring strains in the past 13 months ...
THEN ...
do not dare write Dusty off. He will play next Thursday night, against the Lions at the Gabba. And he will probably be best on ground.
>> LIONS v TIGERS Get your finals tickets NOW
IF ...
time has been called on Paddy Ryder's career as a Saint ...
THEN ...
I'm predicting he will be at a fourth AFL club next year. Still got good footy in him, even though he will be 35 at the start of 2023.
IF ...
anyone thinks Bud is superfluous to the Swans' premiership hopes ...
THEN ...
think again. Almost silently by his standards, has racked up another 50-goal season, the 13th time he has reached that figure. Don't for a minute think he is past his impactful best, even at 35.
IF ...
you saw Trevor Nisbett, Adam Simpson and Russell Gibbs high-fiving and heel-clicking through Perth streets during the week ...
THEN ...
it might have been as reaction to David Barham, at least temporarily, taking all the focus off the 2022 Biggest Rabble AFL Club.
IF ...
the Dogs surged to Grand Finals in 2016 and 2021 respectively from seventh and fifth on the ladder ...
THEN ...
an eighth-placed launch pad in 2022 is not daunting. And this time, Sam Darcy is playing. He could be anything, and even with just three matches to his name, already looms as a major worry for all opponents, starting with a very nervous Fremantle in Perth on Saturday week.
AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL
IF ...
it's been an annual sport within a sport for some to instantly attack the composition of the All-Australian team ...
THEN ...
the near-perfect 2022 line-up robbed those people of that outlet. Really liked the way that Champion Data numbers were not the dominant reasoning for inclusion. For what it's worth, I would have had Tom Lynch in and Tom Hawkins out, and yet at the same time I'm rapt that Hawkins made it for a fifth time – and fourth time consecutively, all after the age of 30 – and was made the '22 skipper.