WITH the 2022 Toyota AFL Premiership season racing to its conclusion, Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is really starting to crank up.
So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.
So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.
>> CLICK HERE TO READ MORE BARRETT
IF ...
THEN ...
Crouch, the best-and-fairest winner in a Grand Final year, and Frampton will be among the outs.
IF ..
Lachie Neale was the headline act in one of the Lions' greatest ever wins ...
THEN ...
Zac Bailey nearly stole the show with several telling, deft touches that could only have been executed by someone with an elite football brain.
IF ...
Curnow and Cripps are on seven figures a year, and McKay on, say, 900k, and Williams about 850k, and Walsh on not much less than that ...
THEN ...
something will have to give in this trade period. Williams? McGovern?
IF ...
I saw it happen at the time and have checked official records a half-dozen occasions since ...
THEN ...
I still need more proof that the Pies actually lost to the complete rabble that was the 2022 West Coast team in round four, in Melbourne!
IF ...
Kevin Sheedy needed evidence of what new Essendon president David Barham really thought of him ...
THEN ...
it came when he, a current club director, was overlooked, and Robert Walls, from absolutely nowhere, was appointed to the Bombers' sub-committee to find a new coach. Sheedy and Walls loathe each other.
IF ...
Nat Fyfe breaking down, again, was a major letdown ...
THEN ...
the opening it created for second-gamer Jye Amiss was a significant high. The No.8 pick in last year's draft, a 196cm forward who booted two goals in his only match, way back in round eight, before suffering a serious kidney injury. Love a finals selection bolter story.
IF ...
Jeremy Cameron has been declared medically fit to play with those at-times problematic hamstrings ...
THEN ...
that won't stop every single Cats fans from having hearts in mouths the first time he approaches the ball on Saturday afternoon at the MCG.
IF ...
the loss of Rankine will be a major setback ...
THEN ...
his exit will have a silver lining. Salary cap would have again been busted had he stayed.
IF ...
Lachie Whitfield has won two best-and-fairests with the Giants and was once immersed in all conversations focusing on the game's best midfielders ...
THEN ...
his past two seasons have been very disappointing. Failed to finish top-10 in the club's best-and-fairest count this season after finishing 10th in 2021. And he still has five years remaining on his contract.
IF ...
Tom Mitchell was dangled in front of rival clubs during last trade period ...
THEN ...
here we go again in 2022. Keen to explore options this time round. Highly unlikely to be a Hawk next year.
IF ...
Angus Brayshaw has played four matches since signing a fresh deal ...
THEN ...
I wouldn't be surprised if there was a clause in that new contract that he plays midfield. He hasn't been out of the on-ball action since, and is at the peak of his football powers right now.
IF ...
you are a player from an opposition club and haven't yet received a phone call from Clarko ...
THEN ...
you almost certainly will. Seemingly approaching everyone, the new Roos coach. He'll soon move onto the day-to-day administration of the club, chair board meetings and take the foreman role in the Arden St redevelopment.
IF ...
Kenny was open to breaking his contract ...
THEN ...
the Bombers would be keen to formally talk. But can't see Kenny, a man of his word, even contemplating that possibility.
IF ...
there was genuine reason to be outraged about the Tom Lynch goal review (see AFL item below) ...
THEN ...
there was also reason to lament a season-long inability to stand up in the closest of contests. Including Thursday night's two-point elimination final loss to Brisbane, the Tigers failed to win every game they played which was decided by six points or less.
IF ...
Brad Hill is still in Saints' colours next year ...
THEN ...
I will be very surprised. A fourth club, here we come.
IF ...
there's a 2022 season Swans storyline that I'm still staggered by ...
THEN ...
it is the re-emergence of the circa-2012 Sam Reid. Injuries have always impacted against this guy. Missed all of 2016. Played just one game in 2018. Ten in each of 2020 and 2021, and 15 very good ones this year. Still got the smarts. Crucial to Friday's qualifying final against Melbourne.
IF ...
many bad things happened to this football club in 2022 ...
THEN ...
one of those innumerable negatives was that it became boring. It had been many things in 35 years of AFL life, but never boring.
IF ...
two of the seven completed seasons under Luke Beveridge have ended with Grand Finals ...
THEN ...
none have begun a finals campaign inside the top four. Maybe it's the way he likes it, and it certainly aids his desire to have his players believe the footy world is against them.
AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL
IF ...
there was conclusive evidence in the ARC to overturn that Tom Lynch goal ...
THEN ...
best you produce it first thing Friday morning. It certainly wasn't obvious in the moment. Full explanation required, immediately. This review system was introduced to eliminate the "howler", not create one. It is, somehow, messier than not having one.