WITH the 2022 Toyota AFL Premiership season racing to its conclusion, Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is really starting to crank up.
So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.
So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.
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IF ...
there are a lot of areas for improvement with the Crows going into 2023 ...
THEN ...
X-factor and excitement are near top of the list. Have become a predictably boring outfit. Rankine will no doubt assist.
IF ..
Charlie Cameron maintains his very good finals record (for Brisbane, 19 goals in seven finals) and Lachie again burns off a tag ...
THEN ...
maybe, just maybe, the Lions are a sneaky chance against the Demons. Don't rule it out. Nothing to lose now.
IF ...
Liam Stocker was a surprise delisting during the week ...
THEN ...
I have no doubt he will find a new club. Reckon he's got genuine talent. Might want to sharpen all aspects of his attitude, though. Rubbed more than a few Blues the wrong way.
IF ...
Jack Ginnivan has had so many people publicly coming at him over the course of 2022 ...
THEN ...
he probably thought the president of the AFLPA wouldn't be joining the chorus. Paddy Dangerfield may well have had very good reason to angrily query how Ginnivan tackled him last weekend, but as the playing head of the players' group, maybe he could've restricted his views to private phone calls, not news grabs.
IF ...
the Bombers can't even coerce a leading candidate to be bothered engaging in their coaching process, and if that same process clearly precludes approaching coaches from other clubs ...
THEN ...
the process is all wrong. Something Essendon is very used to. Yet again, purely for the optics, a random group of credentialled football people have been thrown together on a sub-committee and empowered to make a massive decision on a club's coach. An Essendon process unearthed Rutten, who new president Dave Barham chose to sack in-contract. And here we go again.
IF ...
Jaymie Graham and Josh Carr have been crucial to Justin Longmuir's coaching operations ...
THEN ...
perhaps not for much longer. In demand from rivals. Carr in particular has had a massive effect on the elite midfield operations.
IF ...
(i) Jez Cameron received just one of the combined 30 votes for distribution by the two coaches of the Cats-Pies qualifying final ...
THEN ...
those coaches weren't watching the same game I was watching. The best player afield – by a considerable margin!
IF ...
(ii) Jacob Hopper has opted for the Tigers' money and tenure ...
THEN ...
don't for a minute think that will worry the Cats. They wanted him, yes. But only on their tried and true terms where outsiders aren't given deals way out of whack with those already on the books. Smart management. And there will be a cheaper version of Hopper out there anyway.
IF ...
Jason Johannisen would be a nice pick-up ...
THEN ...
he's not going to be a season-shaping one. Surely there is another target in mind.
IF ...
it's been obvious and known for some time that the out-of-contract Tim Taranto and in-contract Jacob Hopper will be leaving to clear salary space ...
THEN ...
it is still mind-boggling how the books have been so disastrously managed.
IF ...
more than a few Hawks players were caught off-guard this time last year when their names were offered as trade bait ...
THEN ...
there will be no shock this time round. But Tom Mitchell aside, probably no more serious takers, either.
IF ...
I was Simon Goodwin ...
THEN ...
I'd fully abandon the Max Gawn forward line focus. Unleash him back into the ruck. That's his natural habitat. That's where he belongs. That's where this Demons season may get back on the rails.
IF ...
the Roos seriously offered their first pick in the draft to Carlton for Harry McKay ...
THEN ...
it would at least open a conversation. Maybe they already have.
IF ...
I'm reading the tea leaves correctly ...
THEN ...
Josh Carr is in the box seat to be the next coach of Port Adelaide. Has been headhunted by the Power to return to the club as Kenny's assistant next year.
IF ...
Taranto and Hopper will bolster the Tigers' midfield next year ...
THEN ...
a lot of money flies off the books. And the backline still requires an influx of talent, so too the forward line. Interesting times for this club.
IF ...
the pursuit of De Goey fails ...
THEN ...
the Saints will definitely reload in trade period. Their problem is, though, that they're nowhere near being viewed as a destination venue.
IF ...
I have been way too slow to properly pick up on the super talents of Jake Lloyd ...
THEN ...
sorry Jake, and better late than never. I should have realised long before the 2022 season that a two-time best-and-fairest winner, as well as a two-time runner-up in a best-and-fairest, in John Longmire-coached teams has a special ability. His performance in last weekend's qualifying final against Melbourne was sublime.
IF ...
there is disappointment at Junior Rioli chasing a deal with Port Adelaide ...
THEN ...
so be it. Now, just get the best deal for him. He's fortunate to still be in the AFL system after at least once substituting a sports drink for his own urine in performance enhancing drug tests and also being caught with drugs at an airport.
IF ...
Bevo said it would be dangerous to compare the fadeout in the 2022 elimination final against Fremantle with the fadeout of the 2021 Grand Final against Melbourne ...
THEN ...
it would actually be more dangerous NOT to compare the two. Conceded 16 of the last 17 goals of the '21 GF, conceded 11 of the last 13 goals last weekend. That's 27 of the last 30 goals kicked in those matches. Something is very wrong.
AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL
IF ...
the champagne was popped and the streamers activated after the massive TV deal was struck ...
THEN ...
now comes the procession of those with hands out. And while there will be many worthy people and organisations asking for their share, to me, it is the players who need a truly massive percentage increase.