The 2022 Toyota AFL Premiership season may be over, but Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is really cranking up.

So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.

So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> CLICK HERE TO READ MORE BARRETT 

IF ...

Rory Laird, after Thursday night's count, now has three Crows' best-and-fairests to his name ...

THEN ...

he truly belongs among all-time Crows greats. It's elite company he has entered. McLeod, Ricciuto, Goodwin. Equal among those greats, albeit without the luxury of a premiership to his name.

IF ..

the Lions made a prelim final but were ultimately a very long way off the very best teams of 2022...

THEN ...

... adding Dunkley, Gunston and Ashcroft for 2023 should mean they bridge the gap.

IF ...

Patty Cripps has already secured the 2022 Brownlow Medal ...

THEN ...

surely he wins his fourth John Nicholls Medal on Friday night. That would equal Bruce Doull with four Blues best-and-fairests. And be one short of Nicholls himself as the best in Carlton's 158-year history.

IF ...

the legal eagle prez Jeff Browne wants to insert behavioural clauses into Jordan De Goey's contract ...

THEN ...

that's OK, that's his right. But it's also OK and also right for Jordy to push back. Browne is an old-school dealmaker. But now Essendon is in the race in a big way, and as of Thursday night has new coach Brad Scott to officially pitch harder than he probably already has unofficially.

IF ...

the Bombers, without doubt, got the right man in Brad Scott as their new coach, and he is a genuinely inspired choice to take this club forward ...

THEN ...

it will nevertheless rightly raise the eyebrows of those who missed out. Hird, Yze, Lade, Solomon, probably others, were nicely played by the Bombers, in yet another example of a club using a coach search "process" as a smokescreen.

IF ...

Hayden Young progresses the way I think he will ...

THEN ...

he will be getting an All-Australian jacket in 2023.

IF ...

no one knows the history of the Geelong Football Club like former Cats president and AFL commissioner Colin Carter ...

THEN ...

... we all need to listen when he says no one, including the already iconic Polly Farmer, in its 163-year history has had more overall impact than Joel Selwood.

IF ...

I understand the logic behind back-ending of certain contracts in order to keep other players on the list ...

THEN ...

... the practice of then off-loading those players with high draft picks attached to soften the financial blow simply must stop, regardless. Will Brodie and pick No.19 last year, Jack Bowes and pick seven this year. Must never happen again.

IF ...

the Giants from 2015 to 2019 were arguably the most exciting team in the competition ...

THEN ...

they have regressed to being among the most boring by the end of 2022. Which is a major problem on so many fronts and particularly so in their home city, given their cross-town rival is now 40 years deep into bonding with this fickle town, and is coming off yet another Grand Final, albeit a belting.

IF ...

the decision to launch a review into racism at this club was a very sound and genuine one ...

THEN ...

the handling of the scope and manner of the review, as well as its actual contents which contained the most serious of allegations without those allegations being put to the people being accused, has been highly questionable. And then it took until Thursday night for Jeff, who usually would offer an opinion in a heartbeat about everyone else's issues, to belatedly make public comment about it. Surely there needs to be an industry-wide review into all aspects of this review, so that every other club now knows how not to review such important matters.

IF ...

this time last year was a beautiful period for Demons supporters ...

THEN ...

... late September 2022 is anything but after the straight sets finals exit. No glaring reason to think 2023 will be any better.

IF ...

there is more than $6 million tied up in a contract for Alastair Clarkson to coach ...

THEN ...

... it’s OK to publicly back him in. But privately, a back-up plan is required, at least on an interim basis. And the Roos know it.

IF ...

the Power can land the in-contract Tiger Jack Graham ...

THEN ...

... their midfield will look a whole lot better in 2023. I fully understand Graham wanting out, given his club has placed Taranto and Hopper above him in planning for next year.

IF ...

since 2017 the Tigers have forged their own success their own way ...

THEN ...

... there is an element of "copy Cats" about their post-2022 season movements. Keep the oldies Jack and Trent on the list, at vastly reduced rates, along with another seven in the 30-plus years of age zone. And bring in tried and true players Taranto and Hopper from the outside.

IF ...

the Saints three months ago went all-in on the project to land Jordan De Goey, rather than a toe-dipping, tread carefully approach ...

THEN ...

... they would have actually stood a chance to secure him. In early July, the Pies pulled their offer. That was the time St Kilda should have doubled down.

IF ...

respectively in 2022, 2020, 2018 and 2008 the Western Bulldogs, Greater Western Sydney, Adelaide and Port Adelaide never properly recovered in the seasons after receiving a Grand Final thrashing ...

THEN ...

... the alarm bells are ringing for Sydney, following last Saturday’s 81-point drubbing against Geelong. An ugly, morale-sapping thudding low in an otherwise outstanding season.

IF ...

this club doesn’t seem to want to engage heavily in the trade period, which is surprising given how disastrously those already on the list performed this year ...

THEN ...

... at least there is hope that one of the emerging stars of the competition will get to resume his career in 2023. Not seen due to a very serious foot injury since the last game of 2021, Oscar Allen is desperately needed.

IF ...

winning a best-and-fairest award and immediately walking out on a club has been done before by Peter Bell (2000, North Melbourne to Fremantle), Paddy Dangerfield (2015, Adelaide to Geelong), Gary Ablett (2017, Gold Coast to Geelong) ...

THEN ...

... Josh Dunkley is in good company. A massive loss which must force the club to ask itself: why?

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

the Essendon drugs saga seemingly never had an end-game to it ...

THEN ...

the Hawthorn racism review already looms as far more serious and seems set to equal it for long-lasting, demoralising impact on all involved. No matter what happens next, and even if natural justice is applied from here, no one is going to emerge unscathed.