BANNED Bomber Michael Hurley concedes he will have to live with being labelled a drug cheat.
Sporting an epic "holiday beard" the 26-year-old broke his silence in a heavily promoted television interview on Wednesday night.
He was among 12 Essendon players suspended for their part in the club's 2012 supplements program.
On August 18, Hurley re-signed to the end of the 2022 season after much speculation over his future.
"I guess the harsh reality is we've been suspended for 12 months for what's happened," Hurley told Channel Nine.
"It doesn't sit well with me at all, that label.
"It's horrible, who wants to be labeled that?
"I guess that's something I'm going to have to live with and going to have to wear – and be bitterly disappointed that that's the case."
Hurley said he does feel let down but he also punishes himself.
"It took over a large chunk of my career and my life," he said.
"To be honest the more I speak about it the sadder it becomes, and I just want to move forward and move on with the next part of my career and the next part of my life.
"There's been times where I've just been sitting there thinking, what'd you do that for?
"Hindsight's a wonderful thing but there was times where you're like, this could have been avoidable to an extent.
"You do punish yourself."
Hurley can return to Essendon's Tullamarine base for training next week, and will be free to play from next year.
"I'm very excited," he said.
"That first win we get after all this, there'll be nothing better."
Hurley on why he decided to stay at Essendon
"The Essendon Football Club is going to be fine for a long time, it's a massive organisation that has done some great things in the past, but for me personally I'm going back to play footy with my friends and strive for some success with these guys.
"We've been through a pretty average time for a few years now and to have success with these boys would mean a hell of a lot to me.
"I'm going back for my mates."
Hurley on Jobe Watson
"I think Jobe should do whatever Jobe wants to do.
"He's copped the brunt of this, and I really feel for him.
"He's a sensational captain, he's a great friend, he's just a wonderful family person.
"He had to wear a lot of things he shouldn't have had to deal with, and I just want Jobe to be happy.
"He looked worn out at times and he looked run down, and I just hope he can be reinvigorated with his life and just have some fun and do whatever Jobe wants to do."
Jobe Watson and Michael Hurley train before the guilty verdict. Picture: AFL Photos
Hurley on James Hird
"He was my coach. He was a friend of mine at the time. I haven't really spoken to Hirdy a whole lot in the past.
"Not for one second do I blame him for everything that's happened but in the same token I would have liked things to work out differently."
Hurley on 12 January 2016 – the day the Essendon 34 were banned
"It was a bad day.
"I think everyone has had some pretty tough times in their life, and that probably wasn't the worst day of my life to be fair, but it was a pretty bad day.
"Especially straight after the verdict was handed down, I couldn't believe it.
"I just sat there and sort of cried a bit.
"I didn't really want to call Mum and Dad."
