IT'S BACK ... Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors has returned for 2023 and no one and NO CLUB is safe.
So put your seatbelt on, strap yourselves in and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.
So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.
>> CLICK HERE TO READ MORE BARRETT
IF ...
there are moments within a season which can shape an entire club's path ...
THEN ...
maybe, just maybe, it was Max Michalanney's courage last weekend in the Showdown. He knew he was there to be smashed by Todd Marshall, who executed a very fair hit. Went for the ball, copped it in the ribs, went off for treatment, returned, played well.
IF ..
I initially wasn't sure about Charlie's choice of John Denver's Take Me Home, Country Roads ...
THEN ...
it's genuinely grown on me over the years. Heard it six times on Thursday night. This side's most crucial player. It's simple. If he kicks goals, it wins. West Virginia, mountain mama.
IF ...
the Blues are unbeaten after three rounds, play the wooden spooner of the past two seasons in round four and have Sam Walsh poised to play his first game of the year next weekend ...
THEN ...
this is shaping as a very nice season. Vossy has got this joint ticking very nicely.
IF ...
it's weird to say that there is nothing to worry about after a 33-point loss ...
THEN ...
there is nothing to worry about after the Pies' 33-point loss to the Lions on Thursday night. Unusually inaccurate, never stopped trying, sometimes the bounce of the ball doesn't go your way.
IF ...
the Giants have a gun defender in Taylor and another tracking very, very nicely (after a knee reco, too) in Buckley ...
THEN ...
the Bombers on Sunday are going to have to manufacture ways to goal. Over to you Jakey and Kyle. And you too, Archie.
IF ...
Jye Amiss is yet to tally more than seven kicks in any of the five AFL matches he's played ...
THEN ...
I still reckon he's among this club's most important players. Got old-school forward-line footy smarts. Tipping him to emerge, instantly, as the goalkicking, leading forward the Dockers desperately need.
IF ...
Mitch Duncan is properly fit ...
THEN ...
everything will be OK from here. There are at least a dozen bigger profiles inside this superstar mix, but only one or two with greater effect on weekly performance.
IF ...
this club wants me to finally take it seriously ...
THEN ...
it will beat St Kilda at Marvel Stadium on Saturday. And if doesn't win, it needs to push the Saints right to the wire. There have been a dozen false dawns for the Suns in their dozen years of AFL life. I hope last weekend's win against the reigning premier isn't yet another one.
IF ...
new coach Adam Kingsley has done everything right in his short time in charge ...
THEN ...
the act I loved most was his media conference on Wednesday, where he looked down the barrel, narrowed the eyes, and said "complete rubbish" about the argument that Coniglio's last-moments dissent free kick was due to an "accumulation" of dissent. Leadership.
IF ...
the second-chance AFL stories are always my favourite ones ...
THEN ...
Fergus Greene's is a ripper. Drafted at No.70 in 2016 by the Dogs, played the final five matches of 2018. Delisted end of 2020, two years in the VFL. Not seen at AFL level again until round one this year, as a Hawk. Knows where the goals are, and was crucial in a much-needed win last Saturday against North.
IF ...
true greatness can sometimes be present long before we fully appreciate it ...
THEN ...
embrace the remainder of Clayton Oliver's already extraordinary career. Still just 25, reached game 150 last weekend. Won a best and fairest in his second season (2017), and has won three more since. Three times All-Australian, twice the AFL Coaches Association's player of the year. If only fellow all-time Demon greats Christian Petracca and Maxxy Gawn stopped taking Brownlow votes off him, he would've won a couple of those, too.
IF ...
Luke Davies-Uniacke and Jy Simpkin are very good ins for the Roos for the Good Friday match against Carlton ...
THEN ...
Sonja Hood is a bigger one. First game the club-transforming president will be attending since major surgery.
IF ...
Tredders has an opinion and Kochy has one too ...
THEN ...
that's footy. Wish there was more of it. Both can be right at the same time. And Kenny knows exactly where he's at.
IF ...
Riewoldt and Cotchin have indeed been "managed" out of the Tigers team to play the Bulldogs on Saturday ...
THEN ...
I love the big-picture ideology. All-time Tigers greats who will still play big roles in 2023. But I do wonder if form and team-balance is part of the decision making, too. Neither anywhere near career-best form.
IF ...
the on-field side of this club suddenly looks very good under Ross The Boss ...
THEN ...
rest assured that the planning, scheming, loophole-seeking – and maybe even some plain old thoughts of skulduggery (yes, thoughts only!!!) – of recruiters Gubby and SOS will be taking shape behind the scenes. Very quickly positioning itself a desired place to be for free agents and footballers seeking a new home.
IF ...
the doubters were already out in force even before last weekend's drubbing by Melbourne ...
THEN ...
there will be a whole lot more doubters this week. But I'm sticking fat. Beautifully placed to get back to a Grand Final.
IF ...
the Eagles can escape Sunday's match with a losing margin less than 10 goals ...
THEN ...
weirdly that's a win. How the once mighty have fallen. And how the once most ruthless of clubs has become accepting of being ordinary. And yes, I'm well aware there are lots and lots of very, very bad injuries right now.
IF ...
Cotch and Jack have indeed been "managed" out of the Tigers team to play the Bulldogs on Saturday ...
THEN ...
I have no doubt Bont, Bevo and co will be very happy with their absence. And I also have no doubt they will be privately presenting this Tigers' match committee decision as a personal snub.
AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL
IF ...
the messaging coming out of the Match Review Office and Tribunal has been clear and strong, with a rightful cracking down on the bump, sling tackles and potential to cause injury ...
THEN ...
the messaging coming after the dissent decision against GWS late in a round three match was mixed and confusing.