IT'S BACK ... Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is in full swing for 2023 and no one and NO CLUB is safe.
So put your seatbelt on, strap yourselves in and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.
So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.
>> CLICK HERE TO READ MORE BARRETT
IF ...
four losses have accompanied the five wins
THEN ...
outside Collingwood, it's not a massive stretch to suggest the Crows' 2023 body of work is as impressive as any club. Their best game was one of the losses, by a point against the Pies, and their best footy is beautiful to watch. Massive test against the Dogs in Ballarat on Saturday.
IF ..
Jack Payne started the year with just 29 matches behind him
THEN ...
the nine he has added deserve to have him at least on the fringes of All-Australian backline possibilities. Growing in importance by the week.
IF ...
I was in charge of the Blues
THEN ...
as of Sunday against Collingwood at the MCG I would be playing Tom De Koning in the ruck, and leaving him there for the remainder of the season. A point of difference in a struggling team.
IF ...
Darcy Cameron makes the final cut (named among the extended squad on Thursday night, after six weeks out injured)
THEN ...
I hope Mason Cox still gets a good chunk of time in the ruck. Cox played the most "complete" game of his 98-match career last weekend, as a ruckman.
IF ...
it's the Eagles who have been hardest hit by injuries this season
THEN ...
the Bombers aren't in much better shape. Whatever hope Brad Scott had of producing a finals miracle this year is dwindling by the week as key players drop around him.
IF ...
many Dockers finally hit form in the past fortnight
THEN ...
the most important player to do so has been Luke Jackson. Crucially, he is starting to hold his marks. And he's kicking goals. Merely scratching the surface of his talents.
IF ...
the Cats have been able to rebound impressively from a 0-3 start
THEN ...
Jack Henry making his first appearance for the year in round 10, after recovering from a foot injury, is a huge moment. So important to this club.
IF ...
you wanted to give an over-the-top, Hollywood blockbuster style of promo to the Suns match against Brisbane on Saturday night
THEN ...
it's David versus Goliath. Rocky against Apollo Creed. Karate Kid against the bullies. But back to reality – no excuses for the Suns. Let's see if they're finally ready to make a proper statement about their progress.
IF ...
the 2022 season was a "nothing year" for the Giants
THEN ...
this one under a new coach is heading the same way. I realise they are in a form of rebuild, but they are a long way off being anywhere near the good teams. At least Toby is back this weekend. They're always a chance when he's in the 22.
IF ...
a former president is still dodging any form of responsibility over the handling of this club's investigation into racism as well as the forced exit of a four-time premiership coach (remember, the Hawks paid Clarkson nearly $1 million to NOT coach them in 2022)
THEN ...
it's refreshing to see the class of the new one with a public acknowledgment on Thursday of Clarkson's state. And the last paragraph of Andrew Gowers' three-paragraph release only further highlighted what Jeff Kennett and his club under his watch had failed to do in that investigation. "We want to see this matter resolved fairly and quickly in the best interests of all."
IF ...
Trac and Clarry have polled an extraordinary combined 137 votes in the past three Brownlow Medal counts
THEN ...
they're on track for another huge tally this season. In seasons 2020-21-22, respectively they've tallied a combined 34 (Petracca 20, Oliver 14), 54 (23, 31) and 49 (24, 25). Imagine if they tied to win it in 2023.
IF ...
the previous two times Brett Ratten assumed interim coach duties at a club (Carlton 2007, St Kilda 2019) he was subsequently installed as full-time boss
THEN ...
it won't happen a third time. Was a part-timer at North as recently as Thursday morning. But the right person to take over from Clarkson.
IF ...
Rozee, Butters, Wines and JHF going up against Oliver, Petracca and Viney in the midfield at Adelaide Oval tonight doesn't get you excited
THEN ...
nothing will. Bring it on.
IF ...
Dusty's four-goal performance in round nine was arguably his best game since the 2020 Grand Final
THEN ...
he's baaaaack. Hope he backs it up in Dreamtime on Saturday night.
IF ...
the Saints' highest score conceded in the first eight rounds was 83 points
THEN ...
Adelaide's 121 last Sunday was a massive wake-up call. Cuddly Ross wants us to treat it as a 'mulligan'. Only time will tell.
IF ...
seemingly everyone at this club is either injured or way down on optimum form
THEN ...
not Errol Gulden. His past three matches, particularly the past two, have been top shelf.
IF ...
there is a fresh reminder on a weekly basis of this once-mighty club's fall
THEN ...
here is this week's: on Sunday the Eagles are playing a match against an opponent which in 2023 has managed just one win and 60.0 percentage points, and yet the Eagles, in old bookmaking parlance, are at 5-2.
IF ...
there's one thing Luke Beveridge has never shirked
THEN ...
it is making tough calls at selection. Alex Keath has been axed, again, for the mouth-watering round 10 match against the Crows.
AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL
IF ...
the Grand Final start time is staying at 2.30pm this year
THEN ...
I just don't get it. Twilight is the go, hopefully from next season.