IT'S BACK ... Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is in full swing for 2023 and no one and NO CLUB is safe.
So put your seatbelt on, strap yourselves in and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.
So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.
>> CLICK HERE TO READ MORE BARRETT
IF ...
IF the Crows are indeed the real deal, and I believe they are
THEN ...
they will fly into Darwin and get the W against the improving Suns. Brodie Smith back in the team is a big plus.
IF ..
Dayne Zorko has long established himself as a Brisbane great with five best-and-fairest awards ...
THEN ...
his standing within the game has also been tarnished by a white line fever which has seen him central in several run-ins, physical and verbal, with opponents. Suspended, again, after making "unreasonable contact near an opponent's eye". The charges rap sheet now includes seven for striking, four for misconduct and one for staging.
IF ...
Harry is under siege, the board a mess (yet again), the captain wrongfully accused of abandoning his teammates, the president and coach under immense pressure and the only win in the past seven matches was against the West Coast Witches Hats ...
THEN ...
what a disaster. Here's an idea: in the MCG dressing rooms on Friday night before players run out to play the Dees, press play on a video package of the extraordinary adversity over which Queensland triumphed in Wednesday night's NRL State Of Origin. Better still - fly Billy Slater in to give a pre-match address.
IF ...
IF the All-Australian team was to be determined right now
THEN ...
Brody Mihocek deserves to be in it. At 30 years of age, just keeps getting better with every game. Ridiculously accurate kick for goal (28.6 this year). Dangerously tough. Old-school footy smarts.
IF ...
IF Darcy Parish's absence was initially thought to be a massive problem
THEN ...
for Ben Hobbs it was a godsend. Getting valuable midfield time, and proving he belongs.
IF ...
he was taken at pick No.8 overall in the 2021 national draft and in his second AFL game displayed great composure in a final to kick two crucial goals ...
THEN ...
the boom has always been big on Jye Amiss. A special talent who has been crucial in this club's turnaround.
IF ...
IF Jez Cameron has been unusually quiet the past three weeks
THEN ...
he must be carrying an undisclosed injury. Still the best player in the comp, regardless. His club, after three straight losses, desperately needs him to produce something resembling his best against the Bulldogs on Saturday.
IF ...
Jack Lukosius has been a slow burn in the AFL ...
THEN ...
he's really starting to heat up now. Has twice booted five goals in a game this season in Suns' wins, including a beautifully composed performance in round 11 against the Bulldogs.
IF ...
Brent Daniels had played 62 matches for 22 goals before 2023 ...
THEN ...
16 goals from 10 matches this season has been one of the Giants' big positives. Now injury free, and at 24, may just be scratching the surface of his high-end talents.
IF ...
Jarman Impey started at the Hawks in 2018 ...
THEN ...
his sixth season may be shaping as his best. Has shaken his injury woes of past years, remains versatile and his team-first attitude is of immense value to his younger teammates.
IF ...
the Demons' on-field control panel isn't soon back in the hands of big Maxxy ...
THEN ...
the 2023 season will end the same as the 2022 one. Gawn is just not impacting in the way he has in the past seven seasons, which earned him six All-Australians. The Grundy experiment was worth the investment, but not when it deliberately seeks to diminish Maxxy's around-ground authority.
IF ...
Todd Goldstein couldn't crack it for a game in round one ...
THEN ...
fast forward three months, and even at nearly 35 years of age, he's still a very good player.
IF ...
a place in the Power team can't be found for the skipper ...
THEN ...
this is clearly a very strong team. Tom Jonas available after suspension, but will be running around in the SANFL, not against the Hawks at Adelaide Oval on Saturday.
IF ...
Dimma is cracking open a beer at 10.07am on a Sunday ...
THEN ...
that's a very early start. Clearly already loving his little stint away from coaching.
IF ...
an 8-3 scoreline to start the 2022 season wasn't enough to propel the Saints into the finals ...
THEN ...
a 7-4 one to open 2023 may not cut it either. The early season smiles and pats on the backs have now disappeared at Moorabbin. The bye arrives at a good time for this faltering club.
IF ...
John Longmire operated in the US football system ...
THEN ...
he would be rightly celebrated more than he is in the AFL one. Over there, they'd be regularly lauding him for 10 winning seasons from 12. They'd be celebrating him for reaching four 'Super Bowls', not questioning him for losing three. What he has been able to do in the past seven weeks without a backline is yet more proof of this guy's coaching genius.
IF ...
the negative records are seemingly falling by the week for this once mighty football club that entered the national comp in 1987 ...
THEN ...
another one is set to drop on Saturday at Optus Stadium, against Collingwood. Never have the Eagles lost 10 consecutive matches.
IF ...
the AFL dream for Caleb Poulter was shattered when delisted by Collingwood last year ...
THEN ...
it's back on with the Bulldogs after the mid-season draft. A popular player with teammates in two seasons with the Magpies, who took him at pick 30 in the 2020 national draft. Could be given a crack in the seniors very soon.
AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL
IF ...
Jaeger O'Meara's on-field 'sin' was committed about 4pm last Saturday ...
THEN ...
surely there is a better process than one that didn't officially determine his fate until very late on Wednesday evening. Yet another example of why the Match Review Office-AFL Tribunal-AFL Appeals Tribunal system in its current form needs an overhaul.
