IT'S BACK ... Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is in full swing for 2023 and no one and NO CLUB is safe.

So put your seatbelt on, strap yourselves in and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.

So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> CLICK HERE TO READ MORE BARRETT 

IF ...

the Crows' best performances this year happen to be losses to ladder leader Collingwood (by one point in round seven and two points in round 15) and their wins have come against second-placed Port, third-placed Brisbane and fifth-placed St Kilda ...

THEN ...

while the ladder says they are seventh best after 16 rounds, in my mind they are the clear fourth-best team in the comp. And Collingwood aside, arguably the most exciting to watch.

IF ..

it was a difficult and emotionally wrenching decision for Chris Fagan to leave Daniel Rich and Jack Gunston out of his Lions' team three weeks ago ...

THEN ...

it was also clearly the right one. Their omissions were big reality checks for both players and the entire club. Gunston back for Saturday's Gabba match against the Eagles. Another reality check for Rich, though, when he runs out for a VFL match on a muddy Preston City Oval.

IF ...

Tom Cruise has just launched another Mission Impossible ...

THEN ...

Michael Voss, after consecutive wins following six straight losses, may as well channel the same far-fetched vibes and attempt to lead the Blues to the most unlikely of finals assaults. A massive scene to be shot in Perth on Sunday, co-starring the Dockers.

IF ...

Jordy De Goey was on track for an inaugural All-Australian jacket before a three-week stint on the sidelines for his hit on Eagle Elijah Hewett ...

THEN ...

I'm still backing him in for the accolade. Might just be ready to explode into the stratosphere with his performances after his little break.

IF ...

Weideman hasn't kicked a goal in the past five matches and Wright none in the past two ...

THEN ...

here's what I'd be doing if I was Brad Scott for Sunday's match against the Crows. Play Kyle Langford at full-forward. One of the unheralded guns of the competition with old-school footy nous.

IF ...

Jye Amiss really wants to detonate the doubt bomb in the minds of those judging the Rising Star award ...

THEN ...

he will bag six on Sunday against the Blues. It's a vintage Rising Star year. Ashcroft, Owens, Sheezel, Amiss, Michalanney, Humphrey, Wardlaw, Callaghan. And with eight games left, key forward Amiss, already with 29 goals from 14 matches, can win it.

IF ...

the Cats' opponents in round 17 were a tougher proposition than the two-win North Melbourne ...

THEN ...

Jez Cameron may have been recalled, and Isaac Smith may not have been "managed".

IF ...

Stuey and co want the noise to fade ...

THEN ...

beating second-placed Port Adelaide, currently on a 12-win roll, at Adelaide Oval on Saturday night would achieve that.

IF ...

Josh Kelly has won a couple of best and fairests (2017, 2021) and earned an All-Australian jacket (2017) ...

THEN ...

his credentials have been long-established. But he has never been more impactful on a result than last weekend. Two brilliant goals, the second the match-winner with a wet ball from 60 metres. Seems to be benefitting from being fully fit again.

IF ...

eight of the Hawks' 11 losses have been by nine or more goals ...

THEN ...

that's a lot of dreadful drubbings. Eight wins in the 2022 season. Four to this point of 2023.

IF ...

you're familiar with the movie Groundhog Day ...

THEN ...

in the past six weeks Clarry Oliver has had something in common with the Bill Murray lead character. Every day beginning with hope only to unfold with monotonous repetition before ending badly. And as per a fresh diagnosis on Thursday of Oliver's troublesome hamstring, at least another 20 miserable days to come.

IF ...

seemingly many are blindly subscribing to the 'Roos are OK, and the kids look good' mantra ...

THEN ...

I'm far from convinced. Apart from the talents and workrates of the third and fourth picks in last year's national draft, Sheezel and Wardlaw, as well as Larkey and Zurhaar, I'm not seeing massive progress.

IF ...

anyone in 2011, when Trent McKenzie played in the inaugural match of the Gold Coast Suns, had him playing key defensive back for an SA premiership contender 14 seasons later and keeping that club's captain out of the team in the process ...

THEN ...

I highly doubt it. One of the great stories of perseverance. Left the Suns after the 2017 season. Managed just one game in 2018, one game in 2019. Even last year, played just seven times. 

IF ...

three of the Tigers' remaining matches are against the dreadful three teams on the bottom of the ladder ...

THEN ...

finals remain a massive possibility. And once again, if they get there, look out.

WHO MAKES FINALS? Play the Ladder Predictor NOW

IF ...

Rowan Marshall wants to properly mount his case for an All-Australian jacket ...

THEN ...

beating big Maxxy and Grundy on Saturday night at Marvel Stadium would make it a compelling debate at the very least.

IF ...

there have been a lot of adverse issues, mainly injuries, which have been out of the Swans' control this year ...

THEN ...

there have also been plenty which they've butchered on their own. Have thrown away many games. Port Adelaide in round four, GWS round seven, Geelong round 16, and Thursday night versus Richmond. A very disappointing season.

IF ...

Jez McGovern hasn't been seen on an AFL venue since round three ...

THEN ...

what a bonus that he's finally back. Won't change the outcome, though. Against the Lions, Eagles will be doing well to stave off a fifth 100-point loss for the year.

IF ...

Jamarra Ugle-Hagan has been emerging beautifully this season ...

THEN ...

he's still got some way to go to assume No.1 key forward status. Aaron Naughton may have been quiet for six weeks but he's still the main man, and will be key to a Dogs' win against the Magpies under Friday night lights.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

Gill's (albeit long-planned-for) exit is going to soon leave a massive talent hole inside headquarters ...

THEN ...

so too will Trav Auld's. Almost certainly off to run the Australian Grand Prix Corporation. New CEO Andrew Dillon is going to have to heavily re-stock with high-end executive talent.