IT'S BACK ... Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is in full swing for 2023 and no one and NO CLUB is safe.

So put your seatbelt on, strap yourselves in and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.

So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> CLICK HERE TO READ MORE BARRETT 

IF ...

many Crows players have slumped in form in recent weeks ...

THEN ...

not Jordan Dawson. Well, at least not as drastically. The captain still holding up, still leading by example.

IF ..

the MCG record got dramatically worse in round 18 with a loss to Melbourne and now sits at three wins from the past 21 at the venue, and just one from the past 15 ...

THEN ...

I reckon that loss actually proved this team could effectively play a big-time game at footy's home. Twenty-three points up with seven minutes remaining. It wasn't the MCG which brought the Lions undone. Poor late-match management, and maybe a worrying hint of an on-field choke, did.

IF ...

the Blues' form for most of the season hasn't afforded them the luxury of resting star players ...

THEN ...

after four straight wins by 50 or more points and a game against West Coast on Saturday, that opportunity may have presented itself. Brownlow medallist Patty Cripps out, officially with a corkie. Should be primed very nicely for the club's most important match of the year, the round 20 opener against ladder leader Collingwood.

IF ...

Ash Johnson, Oleg Markov and Billy Frampton have been forced out of the Magpies' 22 for the top-of-ladder match against Port ...

THEN ...

that is both very unfortunate for that trio given its stunning recent roleplay and form, and proof of extraordinary list depth. Those players have done little wrong. But Mihocek and Cameron are fit again.

IF ...

he played 22 of a possible 23 matches in his debut 2021 season (where he officially polled in Rising Star voting) and followed that with five of the first seven games of the 2022 season ...

THEN ...

Nik Cox was tracking beautifully at the beginning of his AFL career. Not seen since, largely due to foot problems. Back for Friday night lights against the Dogs in a bold selection call by Brad Scott.

IF ...

this club is ruthless about achieving success ...

THEN ...

it should treat the final six matches of 2023 as the start of the 2024 campaign, and importantly, begin to adopt an attacking, aggressive mindset to all operations. The conservatism on and off field, particularly early in the year, has been suffocating.

IF ...

there were times early in the season when Esava Ratugolea was a crucial contributor for the Cats in a backline which had a lot of holes ...

THEN ...

come the latter stages of 2023 he appears unlikely to get back in the team. The premiership combo of Stewart, Henry, De Koning and Kolodjashnij is back in its groove.

IF ...

the sugar hit kicked in last week and the Suns secured a win in interim coach Steven King's first game ...

THEN ...

let's see how they back it up. Performing well when expectations are high, which they now are for Sunday's game against the Giants, is not a strong suit of this outfit.

IF ...

Sam Taylor has missed with injury seven of the 17 matches of the 2023 season ...

THEN ...

it's borderline too many to be considered for All-Australian selection. But … if he stays fit for the remaining six, and maintains his stunning form, he may yet make it for a second consecutive year.

IF ...

Jai Newcombe was runner-up in last year's Hawks' best and fairest award ...

THEN ...

he's tracking to at least equal that feat in 2023. Will Day has been very, very good, too. And even with a four-game absence due to two suspensions, James Sicily may yet go back-to-back.

IF ...

the Dees currently hold pick four in the 2023 national draft courtesy of owning the Dockers' selection as part of the transaction for Luke Jackson ...

THEN ...

that's a huge bonus, given Freo won a final in 2022 and had huge aspirations for the year.

IF ...

at times I can be as cynical and sceptical as the best of them ...

THEN ...

should Ben McKay choose to leave I have next to no doubt that the magical, secretive herbs and spices formula attached to free agent compensation would secure the Roos the national draft pick immediately after their own, leaving them with picks two and three. Remember, the then-struggling Demons somehow got pick three for James Frawley.

IF ...

Kenny doesn't have this team wound up like a top come 7.40pm AEST Saturday night ...

THEN ...

I will be shocked. Home turf. Two v one on the ladder. Butters, Rozee, Houston, JHF, Wines v Daicos, Daicos, De Goey, Pendlebury, Crisp. Sam Powell Pepper's controlled aggression v Brayden Maynard's. Dixon v Moore. Soooo much on the line. Bring. It. On.

IF ...

they're wearing numbers 45 and 46 and both are still listed as rookies ...

THEN ...

there are clearly bigger names at Richmond than Tylar Young and Ben Miller. But both have made good progress this year in key position roles.

IF ...

according to former St Kilda superstar Nick Riewoldt the "standards in that joint over the last however long have been subpar" ...

THEN ...

that's a massive and unnecessarily brutal public call against Brett Ratten, who had already been disgracefully humiliated when this club re-contracted him in July 2022 and sacked him in October. Riewoldt very heavily, and very emotionally, invested in the Ross Lyon project.

IF ...

the Swans have endured a fair dose of bad luck this season ...

THEN ...

a chunk of good luck descended this week when Dane Rampe was cleared at the Tribunal for his off-the-ball hit on Lachie McNeil.

IF ...

there is to be one certainty attached to the movements and plans of expected No.1 draft pick Harley Reid ...

THEN ...

it is this: he will not be declaring publicly his future hopes any time soon, if at all. And I still expect the Eagles to deeply consider trading out their first pick for a couple of high-end first rounders.

IF ...

you're gonna punch-on with a lot of obstacles in the footy world ...

THEN ...

things get broken. Like a left hand when used to punch a whiteboard at half-time of a match.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

the wildcard games are introduced, where the 10th-placed team, in a competition comprising 18 teams which have 23 matches to sort themselves out, could effectively qualify for playoff action ...

THEN ...

let's also present ribbons and encouragement plaques to those placed 13th to 18th. I'm fully with the Scotts on this – there are more than enough integrity question marks in any given AFL fixture without adding another one.