IF
 
THEN
 
Adelaide
 
Adelaide can dish up what it did against the Pies, just one round after what it dished up against the Dees...
…more psychologists are needed in the AFL..
Brisbane Lions
 
there weren't some uneasy Lions directors in the function room on Wednesday night when Vossy was inducted as a club Legend......there should be a board upheaval. Oh hang on, there will be.
Carlton
 
Carlton wants to move to the MCG next season......its fans better show up against the Crows there this Sunday.
Collingwood
 
anyone has seen Travis Cloke......can you tell him he needs to be at the MCG on Saturday for a 4.40pm match start?
Essendon
 
Bombers players are distracted by the ASADA saga...…they have every right to be. And the lawyers just get richer.
Fremantle
 
Ballantyne played every game like he does against Geelong......he’d be a four-time All-Australian. Love his work.
Geelong
 
you think it's Groundhog Day......it is. Didn’t Stevie J sit down with the coach and leaders and vow not to do anything silly about 12 months ago?
Gold Coast
 
you thought there was a missing piece of the jigsaw which completes the Suns-reach-finals picture...
...it's been located. Just slot that Zac Smith piece in.
Greater Western Sydney

 
there is one player in the AFL who makes his team walk 10-foot taller...
...it is Big Mummy. And he's back this week. Which means look out Tigers.
Hawthorn
 
Schoenmakers is the real deal……we’ll find out over the next month. His time to own a spot down back without Lake and Gibson.
Melbourne
 
the Melbourne hierarchy three weeks ago was worried about another lacklustre Queen’s Birthday match against the Pies......they're not now. The joint will be packed in a fortnight.
North Melbournethe Roos want us to take them seriously......they must get close to, if not win, against the Cats. There's no reason they can't.
Port Adelaide
 
any tradie is in need of a half-dozen really big black tarps......contact Port Adelaide Footy Club. It doesn't need 'em any more. The only cover on seats these days are backsides.
Richmond
 
we hear one more journo bagging Jack Riewoldt for what he said on Wednesday...
 
...we might shake our head right off. The journo game needs Jack, and now it's lost him too. Fear there's no one left now.
St Kilda
 
ever a team needed a bye......it’s the Saints. Looked OK at the start of the season but, since, ouch.
Sydney Swans
 
you got a touch giddy over Tom Mitchell’s stats in the twos......take a deep breath. There's better suburban footy in Melbourne than the NEAFL. Which will always be a concern for the NSW and Queensland AFL teams.
West Coast
 
Nic Nat continues his lacklustre form this season......will we, by the end of it, be re-engaged in the Nic Nat v Jack Watts debate? Yep.
Western Bulldogsthere’s ever been a team which has provided less reason to talk about it than the Bulldogs in 2014......it must have been a pretty boring outfit.

Click here for more Sliding Doors

Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian