1: Demons, not Eagles
ON A DARK desert highway,
Cool wind in my hair
Cold smell of poor Neita
Rising up through the air
Yes, David Neitz’s footy corpse isn’t even stiff, and the tribute songs have already been released. But wait! Neita, who announced that he would hang up the boots at the end of the season, still reckons he can play the last seven or eight games of 2008. Excluding finals, of course.
That means Neitz, who holds the club record for matches played, goals kicked, games as captain, knees crocked and mouthguards spat, may still grace the field with the all-singing, all-dancing, all-losing Russell Robertson, who sadly fell at the final hurdle on It Takes Two, beaten by a plus-sized female “comedian”.
2: Fighting the good fight
WHACKIN’ Fraser with a right arm
I fought the law and the law won
I fought the law and the law won
Daniel Pratt is the latest victim of the immutable rule that you don’t take on the Match Review Panel, baby. The North defender argued before the tribunal that the smack to Josh Fraser’s noggin was only “a glancing blow”, but his appeal was tossed out.
This was despite field umpire Hayden Kennedy, the bloke who reported him, saying that the contact Pratt made on Fraser was fairly typical of your average marking contest. Which suggests that there should be, oh … 20 to 30 reports per game from now on. Yippee.
3: Woosha’s own goal
Goals!
Always believe in your goals
You’ve got the power to know
You’re in the finals race
Always believe in, because you have
Goals!
Spandau Ballet has a significant place in John Worsfold’s heart, not just because he used to get around the streets of Perth in the 1980s in New Romantics puffy shirts and pirate pants. Their moving, deeply-felt lyrics are striking a chord with the West Coast coach because he still thinks the Eagles can make the finals.
The cruel bookies have them as second-favourites for the spoon, but Woosha reckons the “distant goal” of the finals is still achievable if the Eagles start winning. Bless his heart.
4: Spiritually speaking
WHEN they fall down clutching their chests
Gonna say the thing that's the best
When I play for the Sainty boys
Sticking' up for the spirit of the game
If only Sister Sledge had produced some lyrics that could be manipulated in a puerile way to relate to Ross Lyon’s defence of his Saints against accusations that one of them said nasty things on the field when the met the Bombers last Friday. Never mind. Norman Greenbaum will do.
And how appropriate Norman is, given that he’s a one-hit wonder, just like the Saints. Lyon said his group conducted itself “incredibly well” and noted that he was not the “moral gatekeeper of AFL footy”. Of course he isn’t. That’s Craig Hutchison’s job.
What to look for on afl.com.au this Wednesday
Mid-week madness
Huddo. Wednesday. Wednesday. Huddo. Whichever way you say it, Wednesday means Huddo, and Huddo is Wednesday.
Mid-week madness, part two
As usual, a clutch of coaches will do their best to convince the public that all is hunky-dory hamstring-wise with their charges for this weekend’s matches. It’s the turn of Matthew Knights, Mark Harvey and Brett Ratten to be nice to the media today.
The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the AFL or its clubs
