FOR months I’ve been hearing how tolerant my mate is of chilli, so I decided to take him to a Mexican restaurant, aiming to settle the score once and for all.
For the record I love chilli, but I despise people who heap it on as some sign of their masculinity, only to cower when they got home.
I knew he was in trouble as soon as we sat down. As the waitress approached he asked for the hottest of hot sauces, eventually dousing most of his taco in a condiment known as ‘brown fire’.
At first he looked to be going great guns, but ‘brown fire’ apparently creeps up on you like a tomcat does a canary.
Suddenly his eyes began to water and then they started to blink involuntarily. The man who walked in like a sheriff in a saloon was now asking for more napkins, his hand raised feebly in the air, conceding defeat.
I could only imagine how he fared in the days following, but I did notice he went very quiet on all the chilli talk for a while after.
The heat was on, as it will be at the MCG when the Hawks take on the Pies on Friday night in a true home and away blockbuster.
I’d imagine the Collingwood boys would relish the challenge against the top-placed Hawks, as it will act as a guide to see how far they’ve come after a recent run of red-hot form.
The last time they met in round three this season, Hawthorn erased a small half-time deficit to eventually stroll to a 55-point win.
The AFL Fantasy stats on the day are somewhat misleading. Despite the loss, some of Collingwood’s best players still scored well, including 121 points from Travis Cloke, 115 from Scott Pendlebury and 106 from Dane Swan.
You’d think that high-scoring trifecta would nearly always lead to a Pies victory.
The major problem on the day was that Collingwood watched on as seven Hawthorn players scored 98 Fantasy points or more in the win.
Three Hawks in particular play great footy against Collingwood. Captain Luke Hodge (109.8), Sam Mitchell (104.1) and Lance Franklin (100.6) all score very well against Collingwood and exceed their season averages when they meet the black and white.
If the Pies can hinder the options of those guys, they will give themselves a enormous chance to knock off last year’s Grand Finalists in consecutive weeks.
Mr Fantasy’s trade recommendations
Ins: Lewis Johnston (Adelaide)
The youngster has averaged over 70 in his two games so far, and will provide you with a fair bench option while using the rest of your cash to upgrade to a premium player as we head into the second week of AFL Fantasy finals.
Outs: Tom Hawkins (Geelong)
Hawkins has been walking around like a very old man thanks to a sore back - but many Fantasy players continued to persevere with the gun forward. His average is just 58 this season, and that figure has dropped by six in the last three weeks. His price is low ($263,100) but you can’t rely on him for huge scores and he has been rested by the Cats this week.
