Patrick Dangerfield in action during Geelong's win over Carlton in round seven, 2024. Picture: AFL Photos

THE 2024 Toyota AFL Premiership Season is in full swing, and Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back!

So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.

So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> Check out the latest from Damian Barrett 

IF ...

there are many bigger profiles than Mark Keane on the Crows list ...

THEN ...

as this team seeks to retrieve a worryingly slow start to the season there may not be many more important. Did just about everything right down back on Thursday night in a massive Showdown win.

IF ..

the Lions desperately need a 2024 kickstart ...

THEN ...

come on down, once again, Dayne Zorko. For him, games against Gold Coast, and specifically Touk Miller, elicit a special nastiness. Handshake refusals, verbal stoushes, even an alleged squirrel grip (Miller on Zorko) amongst the mix. It is nastiness which is required now for the Lions to retrieve a season which is right on the edge. Being nice isn’t working.

Feeling the heat: Five key match-ups that could define QClash

IF ...

the Adam Cerra piece is again on the table ...

THEN ...

the Blues' jigsaw is starting to take shape. Cerra back for Friday night's massive show against hated rival Collingwood. Now awaiting the McGovern, Saad, Martin and Motlop pieces.

IF ...

you take a look back at the 2015 national draft ...

THEN ...

you'll see names like Curnow, Oliver, Weitering, Parish, Himmelberg, Mills, a couple of McKays, Rioli. Another name, Lachie Sullivan, was available that year. Overlooked by every club then, and for the eight drafts after it. Ten weeks ago, the Pies gave him what he always wanted, a place on an AFL club list. On Friday night, he will play a debut AFL match in the Collingwood midfield, alongside Nick Daicos, against Patty Cripps and Sam Walsh. Love it.

IF ...

you are a person who cares the way Brad Scott cares ...

THEN ...

you can both powerfully condemn violence against women but also not personally abandon a troubled person you have known for the best part of 10 years, and have always treated like a son. While the best media strategy for Scott on Wednesday would have been to say: "I'm not talking about Tarryn Thomas this week", as both a parent and a coach, it is second nature to him to support people who make mistakes.

IF ...

Nat Fyfe is able to sustain the form of last weekend against Western Bulldogs ...

THEN ...

that will make things very, very interesting. Top four on ladder kinda interesting.

IF ...

Danger missed five consecutive matches in the premiership year of 2022 with a calf injury ...

THEN ...

there's the blueprint for 2024. A long rest will work well again, this time for hamstring reasons. I highly doubt we will be seeing Danger again until late June, six matches and a bye after the current setback suffered last weekend.

IF ...

the Suns have been spruiking that 2024 is the season they finally make finals ...

THEN ...

Sunday night's QClash will be one they need to win. I just keep hearing words, though. Yet to see actions.

IF ...

there are so many guns in this team either keeping other guns out of it or restricting their roles within it ...

THEN ...

something will give in the next player movement period. Isaac Cumming and Harry Perryman, both out of contract, are merely two of many Giants who would be getting major roles in other teams.

IF ...

Sam Mitchell had his time over again after last week's 76-point loss to Sydney ...

THEN ...

he wouldn't have said this: "…if you watched it without a scoreboard, you would have said the brown-and-gold boys are having a crack". I have never watched an AFL game without a scoreboard, not sure anyone has. School sport, yes, not AFL. I just saw another smashing.

IF ...

there's one thing Melbourne won't do with its forward line this year ...

THEN ...

it is die wondering in trying to find the right mix. Ben Brown, Tom McDonald, Harrison Petty, Josh Schache. And now Daniel Turner. I admire how it just keeps persevering with what's on its list.

IF ...

the Roos haven't already offered one, or maybe even all three, of Scott Pendlebury, Trav Boak and Callan Ward a playing contract for next year ...

THEN ...

they need to immediately. And if they all say no, then reach out to Parker, Duncan and Tuohy. Nothing is going to change with the on-field disasters unless high-end experience is added.

DAMO ON TUESDAY
North's culture is a mess. It needs to buy a new one

IF ...

Kenny's post-Thursday night match admission of a mistake about playing Connor Rozee was impressive ...

THEN ...

he actually had no choice and it was equally embarrassing. Doctors hate it when we on the outside question their decisions. But all week, we on the outside wondered how Rozee could play, given, in his own words, he had admitted to receiving a 'nick' in his hamstring last match. This club hasn't got a great record on medical calls. Remember the Aliir-Jones clash last year? 

IF ...

Jayden Short has recovered from injury ...

THEN ...

Jack Graham succumbing to another one all but squares the benefit. New coach Adem Yze being given no chance to make an impact in his debut season. Lynch, Balta, Taranto, Prestia, Hopper, Gibcus, Ross all still out.

IF ...

the Saints don't destroy North Melbourne on Saturday ...

THEN ...

projections on their season will remain in the doldrums. Wood and King are back, Webster also. Should be a 10 goal-plus win.

IF ...

Dane Rampe has recovered from his hamstring problems in time for Toby Greene and the Giants ...

THEN ...

what a bonus for this beautifully functioning team. And what a luxury to have Luke Parker fit for a second week, and making him play in the VFL again.

IF ...

Harley Reid is back ...

THEN ...

the footy world is once again a good place.

IF ...

Sam Draper's playful words about this club's coach and certain players actually had impact inside Bulldogs' operations ...

THEN ...

there's a whole lot more problems than were already obvious. I've got two simple words for you: harden up.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

the Don Pyke-led idea for AFL teams to unite pre-match this round in a stand against gender-based violence was a meaningful initiative within a societal issue at crisis point ...

THEN ...

the AFL itself needs, this week, to publicly disclose its position on Tarryn Thomas' requirements for a return to football. Words and players linked in a pre-match circle are an important part of the process. Action, as always, is the only thing that matters.