IF
 		THEN
 
Adelaide
 		you've lost Gunston and Tippett from your forward line in recent years ...... you're doing everything to ensure you retain Tom Lynch.
Brisbane Lions
 		the speech Leigh Matthews gave to the Lions staff during the week has even 20 per cent of the effect as the one he gave when he walked into this club for the first time in late 1998 ...... things will be OK.
Carlton
 		you go behind the spin about there being no contract for the new coach ...... there actually is indeed a financial commitment to pay Bolton for a set time. Let's not get too cute with our messaging.
Collingwood
 		 you're a Pies supporter ...... there is no need to be panicked, yet, about the Tigers "stealing" Treloar. Most footy club recruiters say Pies still well in front.
Essendon
 		his sense of theatre remains what it once was ...... expect a couple of compelling twists to emerge out of Chappy's farewell match. What a career.
Fremantle
 		we're all to be serious about this ...... Fyfe's actions last weekend were worthy of a fine and therefore Brownlow ineligibility. He would've been fined had it been round two and had no priors. The beauty of pliable guidelines is you can do what you want, when you want.
Geelong
 		the Cats lose tonight ...... the top eight will be locked. And it's probably just as locked if the Crows win on Sunday, after the Cats win on Friday. Hard to imagine North dropping out and yes, the much-anticipated final round is shaping as a fizzer ... isn't it?
Gold Coast
 		the player exchange period is a 'meat market' ...... Charlie Dixon's return to the Suns team this weekend is a stroll through the parade ring.
Greater Western Sydney

 		our gut feel is right ...... the bad loss to the Swans last week will provide incentive for an old-fashioned mauling of Carlton this week.
Hawthorn
 		you're captain of a club ...... you really don't want to be missing five matches of a home and away season through suspension. Very fortunate it wasn't a final as well.
Melbourne
 		the CEO is going to attempt to clarify eyebrow-raising comments of the coach ...... best not to protect the employees of a disastrously under-performing club at the expense of the supporters. Everyone at the Demons needs to remove the "negative" word from their vocabulary.
North Melbournethere's one player we'd like to see maintain his form of round 21......  it's Atley. Reckon he could still be anything. It is now time.
Port Adelaide
 		you wanted confirmation of this season being one of the great stuff-ups and waste of talent ...... you got it last Friday night. Twice the victor over the reigning premier. The mind just boggles.
Richmond
 		there's a suspended sentence hanging over your head for a previous questionable on-field hand gesture and you go down the path of directing another questionable hand gesture to opposition supporters ...... you're loving the wet lettuce leaf sanctioning policy of HQ.
St Kilda
 		it's possible to give a B-plus assessment of a team which has won just six matches (as well as a draw) from 20 games ...we're giving it to the Saints. A lot to like from 2015.
Sydney Swans
 		we've got doubts about this club's premiership credentials ...... we're not going to be any clearer before the first final, as remaining games against the Saints (Sunday) and Gold Coast aren't going to tell us anything.
West Coast
 		we're to use track-and-field vernacular ...... the Eagles are hitting the line hardest in the heats. The main competitors right now are looking strained.
Western Bulldogsthere is such a thing as an admirable 77-point loss ...... the Dogs provided it last Sunday at Subi. Scored 85 points themselves, held their own for half the match.


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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian