THE 2024 Toyota AFL Premiership Season is in full swing, and Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is back!

So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.

So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

>> Check out the latest from Damian Barrett 

IF ...

Texan is being "managed" out of an extremely important Friday night game in Melbourne ...

THEN ...

I have no idea why. This season has been a disaster for the Crows. They need all the good players they've got access to right now, and I reckon the marquee stage would've been ideal for this showman.

IF ..

Country Roads has famously become Charlie Cameron's signature song after a goal at the Gabba ...

THEN ...

for one day only – on Sunday against Sydney – he should ditch it and go with Kylie Minogue's I Should Be So Lucky. The AFL's broken Tribunal structure clearly loves him. Twice this year he's miraculously been cleared to play.

IF ...

Jacob Weitering has given every indication the past fortnight that he's carrying a very sore body ...

THEN ...

I'd be giving him a rest. Even against a team boasting Nick Larkey. Too important to September to be playing banged up in July.

IF ...

it's the ninth round of the heavyweight bout and the champ looks done, looks like he's on the ropes, looks like the championship belt is headed for another waist ...

THEN ...

there's only one way out from here – a Rocky-style flurry of blows, starting with Hawthorn on Saturday.

IF ...

there's a character trait common in all good teams ...

THEN ...

it's selection integrity. Regardless of status and standing, the tough calls need to me made. Heppell, Wright, Hind all axed for Friday night lights.

IF ...

Josh Draper has been omitted ...

THEN ...

that's understandable, given skipper Alex Pearce has regained fitness. It's also illustrative of the depth the Dockers have in 2024. Must respond positively after being outplayed against the Hawks last weekend.

IF ...

the Cats' best and fairest was to be held tonight ...

THEN ...

surely Max Holmes would win. Still only 21. Compiling a fantastic season.

IF ...

Lachie Weller hasn't played since round 17 last year, when for the second time in his career he ruptured an ACL ...

THEN ...

great to see him back. Deserves a sustained crack at footy.

IF ...

this club's turning point last year came against the lowly North Melbourne in round 13 ...

THEN ...

this season it may have come after a 33-point deficit in the first quarter against Carlton in round 17. Clicked back into late-2023 gear that night. Look out.

IF ...

there is a genuine sense of theatre in Sam Mitchell's in-game decisions ...

THEN ...

clearly he also has a sense of theatre at match selection. Jack Ginnivan rushed back for Saturday's massive game against his old club. And even more dramatically, Finn Maginness brought back out of the VFL to play on Nick Daicos.

IF ...

going ruck-less worked magnificently against Essendon last weekend ...

THEN ...

not sure it would be a sound plan against a team containing Darcy and Jackson. Big Maxxy still injured. Tom Fullarton among the extended squad. Surely he makes the final cut and gets to make his Demons debut.

IF ...

the Roos had produced a really nice five-week form sequence (wins against West Coast and Gold Coast, one-kick losses to Collingwood and Melbourne, and a more than OK loss to the Bulldogs) ...

THEN ...

last Saturday’s 79-point loss to top-of-the-ladder Sydney was a jolting reality check. And now second-placed Carlton awaits at Marvel Stadium on Sunday.

IF ...

Port Adelaide is entering round 19 outside the top eight and with a low percentage ...

THEN ...

happy days. A Saturday night Adelaide Oval match against the dreadful Richmond, which could have done without losing Taranto, Vlastuin and Graham to injury. 

IF ...

two weeks ago I feared we may not see Dusty again in a Richmond guernsey ...

THEN ...

nothing has changed. There were seven matches left back then. Now only five. Tick, tick, tick.

IF ...

the Saints managed just five goals for the match and only two after quarter-time last weekend against the Crows ...

THEN ...

it will be interesting to see what they can conjure against an again injury-depleted Eagles on Saturday. Phillipou injured is not ideal, but Hill returning makes up for that.

IF ...

James Jordon has won some huge personal battles this season with his new responsibilities as a tagger - Sam Walsh, Tom Stewart and Lachie Whitfield among those wins ...

THEN ...

he won't face a bigger task than Sunday, against a player positioning himself for a crack at a third Brownlow Medal, Lachie Neale.

IF ...

Jake Waterman had emerged out of nowhere this season as the most unlikely of Coleman Medal candidates ...

THEN ...

missing a third match for the year – against St Kilda on Saturday – will unfortunately put a black Texta through that possibility. 

IF ...

Jamarra Ugle-Hagan produced arguably the best performance of his 60-match career last weekend, without Aaron Naughton alongside him ...

THEN ...

with Naughton returning for round 19, keen to see how that forward line dynamic works on Saturday night at the Cattery.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

after the laughable events of the past week you knew it was coming and have heard it all before from me for at least the past 10 seasons ...

THEN ...

here I go, once more, with even more frustration than normal. The AFL's judiciary system is irreparably broken. An "incident" occurs on an AFL football ground on a weekend. Umpires – there are four of them, remember – either see it and don't act, or miss it altogether, and neither outcome is ideal. The next day, after long deliberation, a "consultant", a person "independent" of full-time AFL operations, assesses the incident, ticks boxes on a spreadsheet and arrives at a sanction. On a Tuesday night, lawyers then debate the same incident for hours. And then a panel of more legal-leaning people determine the player's fate. We get to Wednesday. Oooh, the drama. Will the player, or even the AFL itself - and just think about that for a moment … that the AFL can, and does, appeal its "own" decisions - flush the case through one more set of legal eyes and ears? In Toby's and Charlie's cases this week, yes they will! More drama, more mind-numbing debate about the fabric of the game being brought into question. But we can't hold Appeal Board cases until Thursday nights, where there's more legal arguments, more legal procrastinations, more legal determinations on split-second football moments. And then we get a "final" result, with a trail of mixed messaging behind it. Again, this is a view I've held for a very, very long time. This system must be blown up. The AFL itself needs to "own" the decisions it makes, and stop letting consultants and lawyers continually muddy its messaging. This system is so broken. Umpires. Match Review Office. Tribunal. Appeals Board. Rinse, repeat. Every week. No one knows what they're meant to do and not do, and that's including the players and coaches, who are now so incensed they're happy to talk publicly. And incidents on a Friday potentially not having an outcome until the following Thursday. There is no way anyone could dare claim this to be world-best practice.