ONE OF the greats announced his retirement on Wednesday. Saint of Saints Robert Harvey will leave the game at season's end with enough bling to score a guest spot in the next Public Enemy film clip.
Of course the one medal to have (so far) eluded Banger is the little fella they hand out to the winning team on grand final day. And that's not the only opportunity that may slip past the hirsute Saint.
Harvey might be the oldest player in the AFL but he sports one of the most impressive manes, leading The Four Points to believe Ashley & Martin won't be knocking on Harvey's Mount Martha front door any time soon. Not only does this deny him valuable post-career revenue, but also the invaluable opportunity of hooking up with he of the flexible wrist, Shane Warne -- who is mad for anything black, red, white and breathing.
So, damn you Gary Ablett and Paul Chapman! Damn you, your premiership medallions, and your shiny domey gleaming heads.
2. Mind the paper cuts
WHO WOULD have imagined that Melbourne supporters had so much disposal income?
On Tuesday night, the Demon faithful raised a cool $2m in a very, very extraordinary measure to demolish debt at the club. Supporters chipped in with donations of $5000 and over, with two Demon fans of a particularly philanthropic bent tossing in a lazy $200,000 each.
So inspired were the playing group by the sight of be-suited types diving on piles of cash and making money angels, they themselves contributed a combined total of ten grand -- and proved once and for all that the Demons is the only team whose supporters have a higher average annual income than the players.
Of course, if the Saints ever fall on bad times, they could simply auction off lockets of Robert Harvey's hair -- in a limited edition of 35,484.
3. Best in the west
MARK 'Choco Chocolatey Chocolate' Williams has nodded his sage and delicious head in the direction of those he believes will take out the AFL's awards for mark, goal and rookie of the year. In so doing Choco sung the praises of numerous players, including Rhys Palmer, one of only a few remaining at Freo after yet another -- Heath Black -- called it a career yesterday.
Palmer is considered by many, the Chocmeister included, to be the best young player in the land and is distinguished by two things: advanced footballing acumen; and a damn fine head of hair . . . que sera sera, one chapter closes, another one opens, etc, etc.
4 The more things change
ANCIENT enemies Geelong and Melbourne launched Tom 'no relation to Burke'n'' Wills Round yesterday, as the AFL prepares to get on down and celebrate its roots.
Those roots, it turns out, sprung in the ground of an oval that was 990 yards long -- which, for the benefit of metrically-minded current day players (except Robert Harvey) is very long indeed.
The Four Points reckons flooding would have been rife in the first Scotch College v Melbourne Grammar match . . . only two goals were managed over a period of three weeks, after all.
So what footy 1858-style probably needed was a player capable of getting a lot of the pill, a player capable of busting tackles with a slick shimmy of the hips, a player capable of running his opponents into the ground, and a player capable of growing a set of mutton chops to set the hearts of any female admirers on the sidelines a-flutter.
The Four Points wonders if any modern day player could fit that bill. Hmmmm . . .
What to look out for on afl.com.au this Thursday:
It's here!
Time to grab the Sherrin and sink in the slipper. Kick Around Australia Day urges you to kick like you've never kicked before.
Wrap it up and call it a stat
How many hairstyles did Robert Harvey have during his career? Stats City is the only place to find out.
Teams, please
Be the first kid on the block to know who will come into Collingwood's team for messrs Didak and Shaw by visiting afl.com.au.
The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL
